WWYD- Looking for advice on whether to speak to neighbour?

[legodisasterzone]

Hi

I really am on the horns of a dilemma with this one and would appreciate any opinions and/or advice.

We have lived in our mid-terrace Victorian house for almost 20 years.
On one side, we have had approx 7 different sets of neighbours.
Over the years,we have heard 2 or 3 arguments, the baby of the house crying and then a few toddler tantrums 😊

The have been rare occasions when we have heard music played louder than usual,or the muted sound of the TV.
Otherwise, it has always been very peaceful and just general ‘living’ noise.
(Bear with me-this is relevant,I promise!)

Now we have new neighbours.
When they moved in,they took up all the carpets and have restored all of the original floorboards. Since then, the noise is awful.

We can hear plugs going in and out, conversations and even sneezing and coughing- all things we just can’t remember hearing before.
The sounds travel all through the house too and feels like they are in a room in our house.

We are not ‘complainers’ or confrontational,but had to politely ask for the music to be turned down a few months ago, as it literally sounded as though it was in our living room.
The neighbour was very apologetic and music hasn’t really been an issue since.

Now the dilemma: when they speak,it literally sounds like they are in the room next door. If they have people over,the noise is horrendous and we can hear their conversations.

It’s getting to me as it’s not something we are used to.
I have considered knocking and politely letting them know that we can hear their conversations etc as they don’t seem to be aware of how loud it sounds.

I don’t want to be ‘that’ neighbour but I feel like the bare floorboards are acting like speakers and I can’t relax.

Do I have to suck it up or do I just make them aware? I’m not expecting them to put carpets down or anything, I just can’t stand the loudness of it all.
Or am I being reasonable?

I had a neighbour like this - I opted for joining in with the conversation... As you seem like a mature and sensible adult, though, I think it's fine to let them know: in fact, you could even do it so you sound like you're doing them a favour - so that their privacy isn't being violated etc. If it was me, I'd want to know - and I say that as someone who once had an anonymous letter (different house) telling me that the neighbourhood could hear "everything that happens in dead of night" (sic)

If they have removed the carpet then there is not very much that can be done about it. The sound just echoes more. So might be pointless speaking to them as what outcome do you think you can get?

Ouch Hefzi
Thanks-I was kind of thinking they would want to know if we could hear their private conversation?

Little I am just really hoping that they may be a bit more considerate if they are aware of quite how loud it is?
I just don’t know-I have never had any neighbour issues and I don’t want to get it wrong.

I would tell them, in the kindest way I could and I'd present it like a privacy issue for them..

In fact I would ask them to come in your house and see if they can hear the noise next door

I think that's the way to do it, OP - Wills idea is good too: people don't realise how clearly you can hear things sometimes. The first time my old neighbours were talking in bed, I leapt out of mine thinking someone was downstairs

And in all seriousness, we tend to think we can speak freely at home: I wouldn't like to think my neighbours had heard every word of my very tedious conversations about council tax or worse. They'll probably be a bit mortified, tbh, but then you can do the traditional British thing of being even more embarrassed at having mentioned it

Thanks Willbeat
I had thought of asking them in,but was concerned that their definition of ‘loud’ is different to ours!

I think I will wait until we have had an ‘episode’ when we have heard details of their conversation and use that as a starting point afterwards?

Would that be better than just knocking randomly?

God I hate this kind of thing- wish I was more bolshy

I think it's an idea to wait - otherwise it might be a bit a propos of nothing. Even better if you can pop round and say, "I couldn't help hearing your discussion last night. We're very pleased with the Miele washing machine, actually, and so I thought I'd pop over and recommend it." That would have the bonus of getting them thinking you have a glass pressed to their wall at all times, so they'll probably stop speaking out loud altogether, and resort to notes . Joking apart, I find things like this so awkward - I think you should just approach it however you'd find it most comfortable if the shoe was on the other foot.

Thanks Hefzi your posts have made me smile on a tough day

So my plan is to wait til the next episode and hopefully have enough snippets to relay to them!

I will update- I will do my best not to resort to Dutch courage beforehand or I will have them thinking it’s a drunken ramble

Ah, sorry things have been tough, OP

Drunken rambling could also work... My fingers are firmly crossed that it gets sorted without issue on either side!

wait until the day after they next have sex, then the next day simply say oh hi neighbour, i just thought i should mention i can hear every single thing you say and do in your home since you took up the carpets, then grin and wink and walk away ( or equally as fun yell out and clap when they are done and say 10 points wonderful performance you can hardly tell you faked!!! and clap some more)

Reverse the situation: "Hi, sorry about last night, we were having a game of Monopoly and it got heated. Hope we didn't disturb you".

When they look blank, tell them you can hear every word they say e.g. "it was something to do with (.....)". That allows you to get the apology in first, putting them at a double disadvantage for being noisy.

In fact I would ask them to come in your house and see if they can hear the noise next door Not a lot of point in this as next door will be empty .... I'll get me coat

Actually cjt110 that's a good idea - if OP suggests one of the neighbours comes round while the other neighbour stays next door and walks round and "talks" at normal volume to OP's OH, then vice versa. That way, also, the neighbours know that the conversations were at normal volume etc.

Oh I love Mumsnet - thanks you all for turning a very stressful situation into something I can have a laugh about

CJT that didn’t occur to me 😁

I am waiting til I have ammunition aka something I have overheard and can repeat back to them,then I will knock next door.

Apologise in advance that you have some people coming over who do talk loudly and like to stay up late, say you know how the sound travels so much in the houses and the walle are paper thin and you hope you wont disturb them.