WWYD with this entitled drama queen?

[codenameduchess]

My friend is the first woman ever to be pregnant, life is just so difficult for her that less than 4 months in her bump is so big she can't put her shoes on. The poor soul!
She refuses to discuss anything but her PFB, won't nip to the shop for a pint of milk because 'it could damage the baby', yells at anyone who dates cough or sneeze with 20 feet of her and complains all the time about how awful she feels and how everyone should be doing whatever she tells them to on account of being knocked up.

I don't want to be the person to burst her bubble, but as a former preggo I can confirm that other women have done this before and at this stage (and every day since 6 weeks when she started rubbing her upper belly) 'bump' is less baby and more bloat/wind/poop.

Things are going to get a whole lot harder if she's making a song and dance now. I'm sick of hearing it! She never once asked how I was during my pregnancy and i didn't share every detail of my nipples and vag mucus uninvited so why am I being subjected to it??

The woman has already stopped working because she's pregnant. No HG or other genuine medical reasons, I'm not exaggerating when I says I've had EVERY FUCKING DETAIL!

I have muted every form of messaging from her.

Wow.....

You definitely need to sort it out quickly you will receive nappy pictures down the line!

I have been a bit moany with my pregnancy but in my defence I stopped being sick around 22 weeks, developed pgp from 20 weeks, have low BP all through so numerous faints, dizzy days, insomnia and also anaemic. But I'm 36 weeks on Thursday and still working!
Never sent vag info to anyone and usual response to people is I'm not a lover of pregnancy!

Suggest she does a NCT course so she can meet some other pregnant women at the same stage as her. That will either give her a dose or reality or give her some new pals to witter to about her vag.

@Oldraver some of the shit I've had already:

She's gone NC with MIL because evil MIL cleaned their couch and the chemicals could upset the baby

Ate an entire meal rubbing her belly and talking to 'baby'. Quite awks as she was around 10 weeks so essentially I sat there being ignored by a crazy woman rubbing and talking to her belly while I ate a pizza.

She's NC with another friend because they are pregnant and she won't allow anyone to steal her thunder

Her nipples itch

Her pee smells odd

Her vag had changed colour

Her dp likes to put his hand up her shorts and said it felt warmer and must be the baby

Your friend isn't Keira Knightley, is she?

Every interview I've seen with her recently is her going on about women - all women - having 'split vaginas' after they've given birth, maybe she's given your friend some ideas.

All I can suggest is to stop rewarding her behaviour with attention or sympathy, she'll get fed up eventually and move on to someone more responsive.

YANBU to have blocked her. I'm 37+5 pregnant and haven't really had chance to sit and be all woe is me. I worked 12 hour days on my feet up until 2 weeks ago so your friend can get stuffed. Plus all that "I can't move" is NOT going to help her in the long run.

People like this make me cringe when they could be talking about how hard it is to someone who has actually had a seriously complicated and difficult pregnancy and be unaware! She needs to be careful.

Maybe she is nervous or doesn’t feel confident about herself and is saying stuff rather than keeping it to herself. Hopefully she’ll calm down once the baby is born.

Do we have the same friend? Mine was apparently the first woman to ever be pregnant. When baby was born she didn't 'have a clue how she would cope' (she's married, has never worked and has family nearby). She actually asked me to take off work 'for a few months' to go help her with baby (normal birth, normal baby). Now, she doesn't know how, but she's 'shocked' to be pregnant with baby number two (neither her or DH use birth control and from my understanding have regular sex). She is now the only woman in the world to give birth to TWO babies. How will she manage? I keep being asked. Again she's asking me to take off work 'for a few months' to go help her with 'all these babies'.

Good luck Op! When her child is born you'll hear all about her sleepless nights, the screaming and crying, the dirty diapers and all the other things that come with a baby.

She's NC with another friend because they are pregnant and she won't allow anyone to steal her thunder
Well there's your answer. Announce you're ttc or pg and watch her drop you.

agree with PP that this thread must be updated regularly until the messiah arrives.

(coming from a very amused 15week preggo lady)

mamalovesmango she was up a ladder, that hardly makes her superwoman. And from the messages she received so far, it's sounds like she is being given more than the full story whether she likes it or not! I have friends and family that I genuinely love but sometimes they do things to drive me mad. Venting about them is allowed you know, it doesn't make someone a crap friend. And if anyone feels shit about themselves because someone else was able to climb a ladder, that's their issue.

"other women have done this before"

I just want to point out that this exact line is used to justify a lot of really horrible attitudes towards pregnant women.

You don't know what your friend is going through. She might be suffering from severe anxiety (pregnancy can sometimes trigger mental health issues for some women). Maybe she's scared to leave the house and go to the shops because she's so anxious or because she's having intrusive thoughts about something happening to the baby. Maybe she's had past losses and she's terrified of something going wrong. Maybe she's genuinely just struggling physically or having mood swings or feeling complete terror most of the time or some combination of the above.

Pregnancy can have a horrible effect on some women's mental states and no two people experience pregnancy in the exact same way. Just because you breezed through doesn't mean that other women aren't suffering and just because she doesn't have HG or some other physical issues doesn't mean that she might not be going through mental hell.

Maybe she's a drama queen. I don't know what she was like before she was pregnant. Or maybe, if this is new behaviour, she's potentially struggling psychologically and might need a friend to lean on.

Perhaps when it is born she should call it

Melody after melodramatic

or

Max after maximum

She's NC with another friend because they are pregnant and she won't allow anyone to steal her thunder

I would cut ties just for the attitude of stealing her thunder! Ridiculous!

@sirmione16 exactly. I managed up until birth at 37 weeks, I was fat, sweaty, vomiting, hangry and knackered but had to keep going. Dh still has a little chuckle about me trying to get off the low couch 😂

What's there to say about your vag at 16wks preg ? Nothing changes down there at this stage ! Crikey..she sounds like a fucking nightmare !

OP try and change your (justified) irritation to amusement. It might help you to survive the next 5 years of updates on pregnancy and Early Years.

I can understand the frustration, but you could consider talking to her and kindly asking her if she is anxious about the pregnancy / baby. You could kindly say that it's fairly atypical to go into the amount of intimate detail she is sharing with you. Perhaps buy her a copy of What To Expect?

Is she particularly anxious for any reason, like multiple miscarriages or trouble conceiving? (I'm thinking way, way back and I do vaguely remember having a conversation with a friend about the state of our inner workings after egg harvest when we were both having IVF.)

Do you think she'd simmer down a bit if you gently point out that she's being over the top, in a 'I care about you but this isn't normal' sort of way? Like maybe every fourth or fifth vagina-related text reply "you seem overly anxious about fairly normal symptoms, do you think you might need to seek help for that?" or on not going to the shop "it's quite an early stage to be opting out of normal day-to-day things, have you been given medical advice to do that?"

She sounds like a complete nightmare, OP.

But so do you in a way. Instead of ripping the piss out of her on a public forum (that she could well be a member of anyway),

Why not just talk to her and tell her to cut back massively on the pregnancy talk?

MrsRyanGosling15 it makes her superwoman in my book. That’s what I’m trying to get at, it’s not the same for everyone.

Also, there’s a wealth of difference between how OP is talking about her ‘friend’ and posting saying something along the lines of ‘Hey MN, I have this friend, she’s oversharing about her pregnancy and it’s pissing me off. Not sure how to deal with it, thoughts?’. Bitching about a friend, doesn’t make you a good friend.

Mondaysaturday puts it far more eloquently than me.

I think the idea of asking which medical professional suggested the things she is doing is quite good. eg which professional suggested that she shouldn't pop to the shop, and why?

If she's about 4 months pregnant the baby is around the size of an orange (I think) so ask her if she has any muscular skeletal problems that are preventing her putting on her shoes, as it won't be the baby/bump.

Maybe by challenging every ridiculous thing she says, she may begin to realise how she is behaving. If not, she's surely going to get even worse!

Unless there is any reasons why she is particularly anxious about the pregnancy?

I would be avoiding her as much as possible if I were you, as you will be hearing about it forever more, plus when the baby arrives it will be even worse, with the sleepless nights, the poonami, breastfeeding.

Honestly for a minute I thought you were talking about my colleague. I had to do a double take there!

🤣 she sounds lovely.

Maybe tell her that if she’s worried about he vagina now wait until after a 8lb baby has been pushed through it 🤣

Don’t think I discussed my vagina with anyone other than my dh.

Did she not do her research before getting pregnant?

I have lived a full working time every one of my 3 daughters came along simply been the fact if I didnt do it who will. A farm dosent stop when anyone gives birth