Is the clock too young for 8 year old? (With possible Developmental issues)

[chickhonhoneybabe]

Background: Separated from DDs DF, she spends time between us both and it’s difficult implementing a proper routine to deal with her behaviour and inability to stay in her own bed at night. She is below expectation at school in everything other than reading, has issues with her understanding and ability to follow instructions both at home and school, doesn’t like change, is easily frustrated and has a SALT referral to rule issues out prior to going down the developmental disorder route.

I’m in the process of trying to keep DD in her own bed all night, and currently losing the will to live big time!

I’ve tried an incentive to keep her there, losing toys, rapid return and not speaking to her when putting her back in bed, but honestly I’m at the end of my tether. She shouts and screams if I ignore her and it sounds as though I’m murdering her (god knows what the neighbours think), she gets out of bed a million times, wants tucking in, wants a hug, wants a kiss, wants to know when she can get into my bed, and starts shouting and screaming if ignored or I tell her it’s sleep time. It’s taking after midnight for her to eventually settle and it’s wearing me down and then she’s a nightmare the next day as she’d tired.

I know it’s partly my fault as I was working on her sleeping in her own bed before Christmas, but this slipped and I let her spend Christmas in my bed as it’s just easier as she gets out in the night and gets in with me (well it’s not as she’s a nightmare in my bed too).

This week she has had toys taken away (can have them back if stays in bed quietly) and has an incentive of a treat at the end of the month if she manages to stay in her bed quietly all night and not get out unless she needs the toilet, but the last two nights have been horrible.

So I’m thinking about the grow clock as she wants me to set an alarm for her to come into my bed and was shouting in the middle of the night to do so, but looking at it I’m thinking it’s perhaps a bit young but it looks ok as a visual tool.

So my question, is grow clock too young for an 8 year old? If so, is there some kind of clock that is visual that also displays the time to indicate night and day time rather than just showing time? As if it just shows the time I’m sure she’ll be asking how long it will be.

I’m questioning everything at the moment as I don’t know if I’m babying her and I’m a really shit mother as she’s just so awful and plays up to me all of the time, or if she genuinely has a developmental disorder which is now more apparent now she’s in year 3?????

Thanks
(Sad face, feels like a shit mum, please send help and tonic water as I’m doing dryuary. Sobs in a corner 😔)

I don't want to jump the gun, but girls with ASD are very hard to diagnose, becuase they present so differently to boys. It may be worth looking at some of it on-line to get an idea if that fits your dd.

One or two of the things you have said could fit.

I've used a gro clock with my dc since she was around 2.5. She's almost seven and she still uses it. I don't think it's babyish!

My 9 year old NT DS still uses the gro clock he’s had since he was 3.
I hope it helps, but as with any new routine it can take 2-3 weeks to settle in (possibly longer if there are sensory processing issues) so don’t worry if it doesn’t help straight away.

Well I’m happy to report back that I’ve managed to shave off an hour from the past couple of nights shannagans, so we’re down from 3 1/2 hours taking to fall asleep to 2 1/2!

I’d have a bloody big gin and tonic if I wasn’t doing dryuary! 😆

So I guess as every child is different it doesn’t matter if it’s aimed at toddlers...

@steppemum I’ve read that girls can mask symptoms but think that DD is leaning more towards ADHD, but she does have a few traits such as not understanding the need for personal space/boundaries. She met all of her development milestones, but struggles to focus on basic tasks/instructions when asked. The physiologist couldn’t decide whether it was her understanding or something else. Her teacher has mentioned that the rest of the class will be doing one thing but DD will be doing something completely different, and has a complete meltdown (argues/wont listen/screams ect) when they try to give her support and feedback when she is wrong.

She also talks non stop, is extremely loud, and is blunt (says exactly what she thinks) and has no empathy for others (but school are working on the empathy thing and things have improved and she can reign it in a bit more now). I’ve known that something isn’t quite right since she was a toddler, but it’s only now that she’s being disruptive and only meeting expectations in reading that school and her DF admit that there’s a problem.

I’ve also made her write a sorry letter to the neighbours for the amount of noise she’s made late at night, to try and show her that her behaviour impacts others as she couldn’t answer me when I asked how she thinks the neighbours will feel when they hear her scream and shout late at night.

the things that flag up ASD to me are the lack of empathy, and the lack of noise control. Most kids with ASD have sensory issues of some sort, so either loud noises are very painful/stressful, or they make a lot of loud noise to stimulate that sense. (or both!). The bluntness too. Also the inability to switch from what she is doing to what the teacher is asking. She needs to finish what she is doing first. The meltdowns when things aren't going her way (NOT temper in the case of and ASD child, more like a stress reaction). The inability to cope with getting things wrong/feedback.

Worth having a look at some of the girls ASD sites anyway, some techniques may help even if that is not her diagnosis. Curly Haired girl is one site (can't remember the name properly, sorry)

Go for the gro clock. My developmentally average 7 year old can tell the time but still relies on his, it's also a nice nightlight. Good luck!