Parents didn’t make effort for birthday

[Radiosh]

I may well be being a bit out of order about this. I am single in my twenties, living in a different part of the country from my parents but quite close to them. They are sending my birthday card a few days late (it was a couple of days ago but sending today, I got a two-word birthday text and then they said they had put some money in my account to buy something nice as they couldn’t think of what to get me). I also only got a fairly small Christmas gift from them. I know I sound spoilt but it’s really not from a monetary perspective, it’s more the thoughtful aspect. They are very well off and it would have been lovely had they bought something cheap but thoughtful, or sent the card earlier etc - I think because I’m single I’m really feeling the lack of attention/spoiling (which I do always do for them - big bunch of flowers and wine on mum’s birthday and morning phone call, equivalent for dad’s and they have each other too). Am I being incredibly spoilt and irrational

My husband always tells me I’m a ‘birthday princess’ because I like having a gift to open rather than cash (even if the value is less) so I see where you’re coming from. You’re also unfortunate in that your birthday comes at a fairly crap time of year when people are just going back to work, getting over Christmas etc. I think maybe it’s a bit spoilt to expect a fuss but I don’t think YABU to want a card on time and a bit of thought going into your gift from your parents.

So you got a happy birthday, money to buy yourself somehing nice, and a card albeit late. You are a grown up, remember! I always give my ads money because they can get themselves something they really want. Would you prefer a set of underwear that's too small, a food hamper full of stuff you don't like, theatre tickets to something you don't want to see? Maybe next time make it easy, TELL them what you'd like!

What would have been nice was a card in time and a phone call, or at least more than a two word text. There's nothing wrong with expecting a bit more than that on your birthday, especially as I assume they know you're on your own.
Belated happy birthday 🎂 🎈 🎁

You’re a grown up, you shouldn’t need your parents to make a fuss of you anymore.

It's a birthday... you didn't make some massive achievement, other than the card being late that sounds fine. Grow up

I also only got a fairly small Christmas gift from them. I know I sound spoilt but it’s really not from a monetary perspective,
Your comment says otherwise.

Not bother much when it’s their birthday then?

Are you sure you're not 6? You sound like a spoilt child. Get over it.

In my family we aren't precious about birthdays at all. We send each other a text to say happy birthday, my mum might call if she can. Cards haven't happened for years as she has moved to another country and worked full time (same as me) and just ran out of time often. Presents haven't been exchanged since I left home.

I don't mind at all. There is no pressure on me to do more than that for her.

You feel forgotten about by the people you try to make feel remembered and loved. This would hurt me too. How hard is it to send a card on time?

Some harsh replies here! It doesn’t matter if you’re 6 or 60 - birthdays give the people you love a chance to show that. I would feel disappointed too OP

I rarely send cards to anyone. Although I do if I see one I like when Im passing. Presents I am more organised with but I like to get something they want so sometimes its a bit late.

Id say your an adult now, just suck it up. What they do during the year mayters more. Are they good supporting parents or just generally useless

Depends how they treat you the rest of the time really.

My whole family is a bit “so what” about birthdays and they are usually marked with a text or forgotten altogether.

However my parents are loving, thoughtful and helpful in many other ways - in particular when I’m in any sort of difficulty. IMO this is way more important.

What is normal for your family? What do you do for their birthdays?

I would be upset too. Surely your own child's birthday is important? Like you, OP I would have expected them to have sent your card in time and maybe a phone call, rather than text.