Really anxious about court

[PeanutButterLovey]

This will prob be a long one because I want to give whole story and not drip feed. So I broke up with my ex 7 years ago not long after our son was born. For a while it was very patchy contact he also went NC for a while. early 2018 he came back on the scene wanting to see DS so I agrees supervised visits at my parents home as I didn't want him to know where I lived. There was DV in relationship but don't want to get into too much detail it is still painful. So during one of these visits there was an altercation where he became very aggressive so I got him arrested and when I went to court I was allowed the screen so I couldn't see him. He was found guilty and I was given a 3 year non harrasment ordered. Less than 6 months after that was issued he broke it so was arrested again. We are due to go to court on Wednesday and I have just found out I won't be getting the screen I have to face him. I am super anxious and panicky I'm not sure I will be able to keep it together.
Not really sure what the point of this was but feels good to get it down in writing

Why are you not allowed the screen? Have you got a victim support worker you can get support from, or the police officer dealing with the case?
Try not to panic, easier said than done I know. I was a bag of nerves at my court case. My GP gave me very mild diazepam for the day which I think really helped.
Have you got family or a friend going with you? My adult DD came with me which was also an amazing help.

I do have victim support they have been lovely. I also have my mum and friend coming with me. As for the screen apparently they don't think I am vulnerable enough this time as nothing physical happened during the last incident. Last time I got through it on rescue remedy but I have appointment to see GP tomorrow hopefully for something stronger

Ah I see, well you and I know that's shit. Because the effects of DV never really go away. I'd ask victim to support to say you are still traumatized by the original DV and plead your case.
Maybe also call Women's Aid for advice, or even a comforting chat.
Failing that, I'm so glad to hear you have strong support, it will make the World of difference, as you know.
I'm sure your GP will be sympathetic and don't be afraid to be specific in your request. State you need a mild sedative just for the day. If they prescribe for people going to the dentist, they can certainly do so for you.
And most of all remember, you have been strong before, and you can and will get through this. It's shit that you have to. But you will. Hopefully the Court will take his behaviour very seriously.
I will be thinking of you and sending out strength and lots of luck vibes

They prescribe me a sedative to go in an mri machine due to a previous bad experience so if they can do that they can definitely prescribe you one for court.

You poor thing. You sound so brave, even if you are quaking in your boots you are still being brave somehow anyway, which is amazing, even if you don’t feel it x

Thank you very much. It means a lot there are other people who have been in similar situation. My support have been trying to fight for screen but getting nowhere with only 2 days to go I don't hold much hope. I will defo go in depth with gp and see what they can do. Anything to make it a bit easier.

See if your GP could help with support for the screen. No idea if that's possible but nothing to lose.
You will be fine sweetheart

I will be holding your hand op.
I've been there and it's not nice but you will feel so proud of yourself afterwards when you have done it and it's over.
The whole of mumsnet is behind you for this one.

So the GP gave me beta blockers to hopefully help tomorrow. Fingers crossed I manage to get though it ok. Hopefully by this time tomorrow it will be all over

I was going to suggest asking your GP for beta blockers.
Good luck OP. I hope it goes as well as it can for you.

Update for anyone who is still interested he failed to show up today so there is a warrant out for his arrest. Now it becomes a waiting game. Although I have now been listed as a vulnerable witness for further case so I will get further support and the screen for next time.

A sort of positive update, he's a nasty idiot and I hope you never have to see him again!