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Can I turn my life around?

3 replies

FireIsRoaring · 07/01/2019 19:08

I just want to say - please no judgement, no you got what you deserve. I beat myself up every single second of every day. I’m in CBT. I know all my wrongdoings.

I was married for 25 years. We were/are incredibly hard workers - often working 7 days a week & we built a thriving business. We had everything. House, cars, boats, money - everything.
Somehow we decided to venture into swinging & recreational drug use. We were both on board.
Then we lost everything due to a bad investment.
We were solid but my DH became increasingly unwell mentally until he was eventually sectioned.
He moved out of the family home after the Police were called due to him destroying the contents.
I met someone- he was married. We had an affair. His wife found out after 8 months & he admitted everything & left the family home.
Their divorce was very civilised.
During this time my H sexually assaulted me & broke into my home (I rented a house for my DCs & me).
I felt obliged to be with my ‘lover’ because he’d left his family for me but it never felt right.
Fast forward to 2 years.
We live together. I dread every single day I wake up. He idolises me & treats me like a queen but I love him but I’m not in love with him.
I’m 48 , have no qualifications & I’m so scared of my future.
I feel I can’t leave him because of what he’s / me put his family through.

OP posts:
Fallingtobits · 07/01/2019 22:59

Yeah or course you can turn your life around. A few bad choices do not make you a bad person. Everyone fucks up. You already know that you have the potential do do well and work hard. You’ve done it. You don’t need to be as successful as you were before and you are not to old to get new qualifications if you want. Nobody actually needs a boat unless they are stranded at sea I suppose. You did not mess up his family by yourself and you don’t have to have a reason or hate the guy if you want to end things because you’re not happy. You are allowed to say that it’s not working for you and you need to be on your own but that you wish him well.

SandAndSea · 07/01/2019 23:07

Of course you can turn your life around! The good news is that you have first hand experience of feeling and being successful. You've just got to find that feeling place again. It's a good time of year to set some life goals. You can do it!

Mulberryandthyme · 08/01/2019 08:47

48? Absolutely you can turn your life around. Are you working at the moment?

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