Is it possible to have PTSD without flashbacks?

[mineofuselessinformation]

... I'm beginning to wonder.
Sorry, it's long, but I need to tell the full story for you to understand.
I've had a very difficult couple of years with situations I have not been able to resolve/do anything about (family illness, dc MH condition).
I had some time off mid-year last year, when I saw my GP and was prescribed citalopram for anxiety.
Just before Christmas things got too much and I was off work again, and my medication was increased.
I'm very aware that events can trigger anxiety, and initially thought that it was the events of the last couple of years were what triggered me - but now I think it goes deeper.
Initially, I started to wonder if the diagnosis of a genetic condition in dc2 was at the root of it (a serious lifelong condition causing a severe disability, diagnosed shortly after birth most twenty years ago), but then realised that a serious autoimmune condition in dc1 that became apparent nearly ten years ago may well have added fuel to the fire ( a useless GP told me it didn't matter if dc waited six weeks to see a consultant, my own research told me that dc could be dead within four months from organ failure, and may well still die before me).
I know I need to see a counsellor for help with the awful feeling of uselessness that goes with an episode of increased anxiety. Each and every time I feel as if I'm right back there in a place where I'm helpless, in that there's nothing I could do to make the situation 'right' for my child, or any other person involved.
It's horrible.
I know I'm really only looking for a label to hang on what's going on within me, but hoping I can find something that helps me to understand what's has happened to make me feel like this.
Thank you so much if you've made it to the end of what has turned out to be very long indeed.
Do you have any knowledge or experience you could share?
Thanks

Errr, bump?

I am not sure that labels are "needed" unless for benefits access / assessment or that ilk; what is most important is that you recognise that something is wrong and seek help if that makes any sense? I spent a while seeking a label but, after much discussion with my psychologist and psychiatrist, realised that labels could actually limit your progress in a way as well as identify to you that what you had was "real". I can see both sides of the coin but whatever helps you to progress is what is really needed. Hope that made a little sense - and perhaps go to your GP and look for referral to help you to start to make inroads on helping yourself to recover? Meant very much with kindness.

Thank you, Deadcertain.
I guess I'm seeking a label because that will make it easier for me at work (a high-stress job), rather than 'just' anxiety.
I know that trivialises anxiety (dear God how I know about anxiety).
My current Bradford absence score is 400. It rings alarm bells all over the place, but unless I could reliably arrive later every day (my job means I couldn't without impacting on colleagues) where needed, I can't do anything but face the music when called to account about why I've been off.

Just a little bump here in case anyone else has anything to say?
Thanks.

Just pushing this up the list and hoping for some experiences.
Thanks

Mine - Flashbacks arising from ptsd can arise in any of the five senses I have been advised. So, for instance, a sound can be the flashback rather than just simply being a visual thing. It sounds as though you may have ptsd but I would ask for a referral to a specialist. Being formally diagnosed isn’t just a label, in my experience it helps to explain devastating symptoms and helps to focus on the best ways to receive help, support and therapy. Sometimes medication is needed to treat anxiety symptoms, sometimes talking therapy helps such as CBT or emdr. Be kind to yourself, be reassured that you can get help and that it makes a lot of sense for you to be looking for some answers for why you’re struggling. 🌷

The person who diagnosed my CPTSD said that "flashback" isn't always a very helpful term, as people assume it's a bit like time travel and you're transported back to the trigger incident/situation visually etc. It isn't always like that. He used the term "emotional flashback", or "flooding", which is more like your emotions are swamped by the feelings associated with the trigger. This is what I experience, along with intrusive thoughts and unwanted internal dialogue. When I am having a flooding episode, my mind can get "stuck" as well, so I find myself repeating a word or phrase over and over in my mind, or reading the same sentence over and over.

CPTSD is usually associated with a prolonged period of abuse/terror/intense stress (often experienced by child refugees, victims of kidnapping, prisoners of war, survivors of child abuse) rather than the more widely known PTSD which normally originates with a single incident like a car accident or a violent attack.

He used the term "emotional flashback", or "flooding", which is more like your emotions are swamped by the feelings associated with the trigger. This is what I experience, along with intrusive thoughts and unwanted internal dialogue. When I am having a flooding episode, my mind can get "stuck" as well, so I find myself repeating a word or phrase over and over in my mind, or reading the same sentence over and over.

This is what happens to me, too, to the letter.

I've had relatively few incidences that seem like "traditional" flashbacks, where I have sudden sense of a past situation, with surroundings, pains and feelings all involved. More commonly it's more vague.

Thank you all. I'm so grateful.
No, I don't feel like I'm re-living the events of the past, but I do feel like I'm right back there emotionally, if that's the right way to express it.
The feelings of being powerless and useless are what bothers me most.
I know it's not logical, but I am overpowered by the feeling that I should be able to make things 'ok' or 'right' again, when I don't have a good in hell of doing it.
I've always been viewed as a strong person by the people around me, but I'm not.

'Hope', not 'good' in my post, sorry.

I don't have flashbacks in the way that film and television portray them. The worst sort are night terrors where I will have a something akin to a waking dream/nightmare where I relive a variation of incidents that's mashed up with a recent event or situation. The last time I had one of those was three and a half years ago. It take the form of very lucid dreaming, combined with the inability to wake up even though the conscious part of my brain is trying to wake me, combined with paralysis. Once I wake up I am able to function normally, knowing it was a dream/nightmare but with very vivid recall.

The more common sort I experience is related more to similar places/scenarios/situations where certain things occured, these take the form of a combined anxiety attack, excruciating pain (imagine TV ads that describe a heart attack, tightening around the chest tingling in the extremities and feeling dizzy) with bowel voiding (imagine something like high pressure dysentery). These can be caused by a load of different things that don't logically or physically seem to be connect to past trauma events.

The immediate aftermath I start to feel such things as self blame, guilt and anger directed at myself as well as the powerlessness that @mineofuselessinformation, speaks of. There is also the self loathing and disgust. Fortunately thanks to therapy and CBT I have learnt strategies to manage it, to look after myself and more importantly, it's not my here and now.

I appreciate that people experience it differently in their bodies and minds, but I would certainly not descrive what I experience as a "flash" back to a point in time to mentally relive an event.