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Original poster

I am hosting a party in two weeks and I am bricking it

26 replies

erinaceus · 06/01/2019 09:58

I think that this is the first thread I have ever started in _Chat

I usually hang out in MH, and one of the reasons for this party is my impending divorce, proceedings for which will start this month. I'm fragile. Please play nice.

I am hosting a party in two weeks and am totally bricking it. It seemed like such a good idea at the time of the planning (I pinned the date down back in July), and now I am worried. My main worry is that there will be some sort of drama that will all be my fault. I have invited lots of people from all different parts of my life (friends, family, colleagues, people I know from hobbies and from sports, all sorts of people). The guests do not all know each other and there are lots of them that I think would get on well with each other. Nonetheless, for some reason I feel as if I have created this massive liability scenario.

Food, venue and so on are taken care of. I might be short of one entertainment type thing to do later on as there will be a few hours after the food has been served and we do not have facilities for dancing which might be the obvious choice. I am not a fan of board games. I thought maybe something creative? I like creative things. Or serve a cheese board, that was my other option.

I am also secretly hoping for a pombear style end-up-in-classics thread from one of my guests, so if you recognise me from this please oblige!

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 06/01/2019 10:55
  1. Do serve a cheese board, they always go down well.
  2. Your friends, family and colleagues are adults and will not argue with each other. Why would there be a drama? Worst case scenario is that they don't mix much, but as long as nobody is on their own then it's fine!
  3. Do a quiz to help mix people, just a few rounds. Start with pictures on the walls that they can discuss/have to identify while eating and drinking.
umpteenpinecones · 06/01/2019 11:14

Will the party be at your home or at a venue?

CreativeMumma · 06/01/2019 11:17

A quiz? Bingo with funny prizes?

Whisky2014 · 06/01/2019 11:19

People dont just argue for the hell of it. People going to a party are looking forward to mingling with new people..its normal.

Nothing to worry about.

Whisky2014 · 06/01/2019 11:19

Dont do a quiz or the wall thing. Don't organise the fun.

OhTheRoses · 06/01/2019 11:20

I've seen a roving magician work well.

Have a lovely time. Can you do something just for you to destress beforehand like a massage and facial.

Madeline88 · 06/01/2019 11:23

Please don’t do a quiz. Unless this is a milestone birthday and the quiz is about you! Just let people eat and drink and chat and get on with each other.

Babymamamama · 06/01/2019 11:24

Just some nice background music will be fine and assuming the drinks and food are sorted people will tend to mingle and sort themselves out. Don't feel you need to lay on loads of activities - see more as a gathering. Hope you enjoy it as that is the main thing.

mysteryfairy · 06/01/2019 11:27

If I’m invited do a pub style quiz - I’d love it!

Miane · 06/01/2019 11:32

Why on earth would there be drama?

And if someone was rude enough to start an argument why would you consider that your responsibility? Adults are responsible for their own behaviour.

It’s a party, everyone will come, eat, drink and chat. Provide food, drink, music and a venue and the rest will take care of itself.

robrobinson · 06/01/2019 11:39

Photobooth thing where people dress up? Relaxed but fun - no pressure to join in and can be done cheaply using selfie sticks and dressing up gear. Or depending on the party (Why are you having it?) then maybe assemble some pics of the local town you're all from throughout history/your own childhood photos. It's nice for people to have a look at things like this.
There won't be a drama. Unless there's a massive drip feed here. Most parties don't create drama.

Whisky2014 · 06/01/2019 11:42

Its not a wedding or kids party. You dont need entertainment except for music.

Original poster
erinaceus · 06/01/2019 13:14

Hi everyone - thank you so much for the responses. They are helpful.

To everyone who has asked why there would be drama: maybe your friends and my friends differ. I have a low threshold for what I call drama.

@Miane Good spot - I am chronically over-responsible.

If romance blossoms between two single people though I can totally take the credit, right?

@umpteenpinecones The party is at a venue.

I see that organised fun is divisive. I have an idea along those lines, less quiz and more of a mixer. I would need some one else to set it in motion as I have no spare bandwidth for organising the fun. I will see what others think and maybe delegate.

I will definitely look into a cheeseboard. Dinner is early and there are some hours between dinner and closing time. I thought maybe cheeseboard with teas and coffees?

@OhTheRoses Hello! I recognise you. Veto on magician but thank you for the suggestion. Massage is a good idea, thank you. I usually go to yoga in the morning on Saturdays and I think I can do that and get back in time. I was in two minds about trying to fit it in but if I stay at home in the morning I will overthink things.

OP posts:
Miane · 06/01/2019 13:23

To everyone who has asked why there would be drama: maybe your friends and my friends differ. I have a low threshold for what I call drama.

I have no tolerance for drama. I wouldn’t ever expect there to be anything less than delightful behaviour from my friends.

Our wedding, 21st Birthday parties, 30th birthday parties, children’s Christening parties and our 40th birthday parties. All big events (100 ish people), no drama whatsoever.

Everyone came, ate, drank, chatted, danced etc with exemplary behaviour all round.

(But yes you can totally claim credit if you introduce friends who end up happy together)

Original poster
erinaceus · 06/01/2019 13:31

I wouldn’t ever expect there to be anything less than delightful behaviour from my friends.

Crumbs. There are different worlds out there indeed.

RE claiming credit: good to know. Thank you.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 06/01/2019 13:36

I have held many parties over the years and never had any drama at any of them. Possibly a few overexcited children at kids birthday parties but nothing more. I also don't think you need to over organise it. People tend to eat, drink, chat and possibly dance if there is music. Is it in a place with a bar so people can get drinks? Cheese board later sounds like a good idea.

Original poster
erinaceus · 06/01/2019 13:40

@ApolloandDaphne Crumbs, again. There was drama at my wedding for sure, although, thinking about it, that was to do with extended family who are not involved in this one.

There is no dancing at the venue which is one of the reasons I was looking for a thing maybe.

There is a bar, yes.

OP posts:
Miane · 06/01/2019 14:03

Crumbs. There are different worlds out there indeed

You see now I’m intrigued. What counts as drama?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 06/01/2019 14:10

I introduced a couple at my 21st. They've just celebrated their Pearl Wedding Anniversary (30 years) Smile

SoyDora · 06/01/2019 14:21

I’m also intrigued as to what sort of drama you’re expecting! I’ve hosted engagement parties/weddings/birthday parties etc and never a whiff of drama!

Original poster
erinaceus · 06/01/2019 15:36

What counts as drama? Among other things I am worried about any sort of interpersonal problem that finds its way back to me later. I will likely feel responsible even if as @Miane pointed out, I won't be.

That, and raised voices. I find shouting difficult to tolerate. I think that the risk of that is low though. famous last words

Another challenge is that the venue are not responsive. They have been busy with Christmas, I will give you that, but they are not replying to my emails. This is stressing me out. I went in to speak with them last weekend and felt dismissed. I think it is to me to chase this up.

I sent out the request for final RSVP and got some people turning it down which makes me assume that these invitees hate me, but I think that is just my paranoia; also if they do (not want to come because they do not like me I mean) I can fix that later, if at all, now is not the time.

Ty for responses, all.

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 06/01/2019 17:03

erinaceous I think last weekend they were just in the midst of NY and will have had staff off last week and possibly this weekend due to working over the holidays. Just give them a ring Wednesday morning if you haven't heard by then.

Many people will have been flat out from mid December until now and just starting to catch up with themselves. People will reasonably have scheduled post Christmas visiting your party weekend, dh for example, needs to go to his mothers that weekend although she was here for Christmas.

It will all be fine and it's a nice time to have a party.

Original poster
erinaceus · 06/01/2019 17:32

Ty @OhTheRoses It is true that it is a nice time to have a party. When people get glum about January most years I am like — what’s not to like? 🎉 this is my most ambitious effort for some time though and the first on this scale when I am single since 2003 Shock

OP posts:
Storybarn · 06/01/2019 18:00

I've been to a similar style party and they had a magician which went down well. The entertainment wasn't too managed iyswim with quizes. There was plenty of opportunity for people to eat, drink, mingle and be merry.

AlwaysPottering · 06/01/2019 18:02

Definitely put a bit of thought into music. Can you make a playlist to have for the venue? A good mix of upbeat stuff to suit all ages. I agree too much organised fun is a killer but perhaps a game of heads/tails with bottle of wine as prizes will loosen everyone up. Have you ever played it at a dinner dance affair type thing?