DS (7) being violent towards DD (2)- advice please?

[Gingerninj]

There's always been a bit of tension with DS who recently turned 7 and DD2, he was never fond of having a younger sibling. However since she turned 2 in august there's been endless fighting and arguing. Of course siblings argue, I hardly expect them to be best of friends at all times but DS is really starting to be too rough with her. He punches, kicks and pushes her about, of course I stop him and there are consequences but he never seems to learn. His behaviour is usually good besides from around DD, he's quite hyperactive and cheeky but knows when to calm down and stop. DD absolutely adores him, wants to play with him and follow which i understand is frustrating. I just don't know how to help DS bond with her, nothing seems to work and things are only getting worse

I;d try the good old naughty step. As soon as he is violent, make him sit for 7 minutes somewhere boring.

If he gets up, keep returning him...until he's completed the 7 minutes...then he has to apologise.

We have a naughty chair, he usually resists a bit but eventually sits down it just doesn't make much of a difference as he only does the same thing next time he gets annoyed with her

Do they share a room, ginger ?

They do at the moment but we're moving in a couple weeks and they'll have separate rooms which will hopefully help a bit

Does he hurt his sister if she is doing her own thing or if she ( in his eyes) spoiling what he's doing by wanting to play with whatever he's doing?

Mainly when she's wanting to play but there's been a few times where he's been in a mood about something else and basically taken his anger out on her

Plenty one on one time with older DC. Have a time in the week that you go and do something special together might help. Also be very aware of treating them equally or at least appearing to. I think it can seem like you are always hard on the older child and soft on the younger which is appropriate of course as they are only two but can see unfair in the older child's eyes.

He's found what he has to do to get your attention, as you can't ignore that kind of behaviour. Are they full siblings - if not this may be an indirect way of hurting your partner/ your relationship?

More 1:1 time, some with you and some with his DF/ DSF (if your DH/ DP won't do this, whether or not DS is his child, then you’ll have found the root of the problem).

Consistent consequence for hurting his sister.

Separate bedrooms.

Treat fairly but not equally - acknowledge that he is older and give more responsibility, later bedtime etc.

Supervised short sessions where they can interact positively and he can be taught how to play nicely with her and what to expect she can and can't do.

Supervise them both very closely and intervene early. If he's showing signs he's frustrated with her, distract her away and separate them. Then start giving him tools to break away ie if he says a special word you'll move his sister so he can leave. Then praise him once things are calmer for being calmer.
Work on managing the tension and giving him control when she's annoying him before trying to make them bond. He'll have happier feelings to her (and be more likely to bond) if his interaction with her isn't always based around getting in trouble for being mean to her and if he has control about when he's doing things with her.
Plus consequences for being violent, praise for walking to safe place/room etc.

They have the same dad, though we aren't together anymore. They do have an older sister who has a different dad and he gets on well with her, only the odd argument here and there. Thank you for the advice