Can I ask to be sterilised

[cjt110]

I have a son, aged 4. He's my world. But I struggle. Massively. By the day. By the minute. By the second.

Ive always thought I never want another child. 2 friends have recently had little bundles of joy and whilst Im happy for them, I genuinely could not cope if that were me.

Im on the depo which hasn't failed me yet.. But the idea of ever falling pregnant again horrifies me.

Its destroying my love life with my husband.

I have mental health issues - depression and anxiety - for the past decade at least with a nice dose of pre and post natal depression to add to it.

I genuinely could not survive another pregnancy.

I think it may be your mental health and anxiety that needs treatment rather than your fertility

I wanted, seriously, to be sterilised at 16.

Aridane Lately my MH is in a good place. The best its been for a LONG time.

I think you would have more success if your DH asked for a vasectomy to be honest.

I can completely understand the 'ease' of a vasectomy. He is older and also only ever wanted one child. But this is me and my battle.

Not his.

Can I ask how old you are? I have no idea about this sort of thing g but wonder if they may be more hesitant if you are younger?

Following, as I'd like to ask for sterilisation too and don't know how to go about it. I don't get on with hormonal methods and got pregnant using the copper coil which resulted in miscarriage. DH has a bundle of health problems that make vasectomy a complete no-no.

Fair enough. I would be surprised to be honest if they are happy to sterilise you. Unfortunately from what I have heard a lot of trusts much prefer vasectomies and female sterilisation is a real battle to get.

Which it should not be. Years ago, I had a friend who might have died having another baby and the medics refused to sterilise her, so unjust. Though she managed.

OP, you can be sterilised but I think you might have to wait a bit longer before the NHS will agree to it.

You could perhaps try some additional contraception to your Depo, just to reassure you. Like wearing a belt and braces.

You have my sympathy - and some empathy - not that that helps you but you are not alone.

I hope everything improves for you.

I was sterilised. It was at the same time a having an ablation. Me and my husband went to the appointment to discuss. Talked it through and a week later confirmed that I would go on the waiting list.

I was 40 with two children but very clearly never having anymore.

Hope you get it done kx

Im 32 and no way want more children.

I asked recently and GP was very against. I’m a similar age to you, and she said I was too young, things change and it was too final.

She did however point out that the failure rate of sterilisation is the same rate as the failure rate of the coil, so now I have one of those (copper, not Minera).

They are extremely unlikely to agree to sterilisation at your age. A friend of mine, 31, has just been told no as too young. Whilst I understand that you feel this is your battle not your dh's, a vasectomy is a much simpler operation and in the end would have the same outcome, which is you unable to get pregnant.

It also depends on your area. I have had two children, both of which have caused serious ongoing issues. Mine was agreed by the consultant but then refused by the trust.

You can ask but the majority of CCGs don’t fund female sterilisation anymore. Especially not when long acting methods of contraception have such good success rates (equal or higher than female surgical sterilisation). As others said, you may have more success with seeking a male sterilsation for your partner.

You can ask OP but depending on area you might not get.

I’ve been battling my PCT for 5 years. It’s abhorrent.

It may be your battle, but a husband is (or at least should be, I think) on the field side-by-side with you. He's already part of the war in many different ways. Seeing, as said above by others, the struggles in getting female sterilization culturally, the higher risk and failure rates in comparison to male sterilization (though does have it's own risks). And if he only ever wants one child, that's kinda his responsibility as well.

Personally, I found so many things in life, including my sex life, far less stressful and more enjoyable once pregnancy was removed as far as possible off the table (at least until early menopause threw a wrench in the works and my body).