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Original poster

Do you swear around your PIL?

35 replies

Somerville · 05/01/2019 18:19

Or should that say, do you fucking well swear in front of your PIL?
It struck me recently that DH never swears around my parents. Even though they’re Irish and happen to swear rather a lot - especially my mother. And then he told me off for swearing in conversation with FIL. (It was a conversation about Brexit - how can one bloody not swear?!)

We agree on swearing around kids (not okay) and at work (okay with colleagues in our workplaces but not around clients) but not on this one.

If you don’t, then I only get it if they’re vicars or something. (Though I know some sweary clergy TBH.) But why should some people being a generation older and progenitors of your spouse mean you shouldn’t talk like you might around other adults??

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 05/01/2019 18:22

I wouldn't swear in front of my own parents so I won't swear infront of anyone else's.

Original poster
Somerville · 05/01/2019 18:25

I guess if you don’t swear in front of your parents then it makes a bit more sense.
DH swears in front of his parents a bit though (day, if he’s had a glass of wine too many, or he’s repeating a funny anecdote) it’s more a respect to in laws thing.

OP posts:
britnay · 05/01/2019 18:37

We do in front of PIL; MIL is a counselor, so she has to be completely unflappable when listening to clients. We all share a large house at the moment, so language is very colourful in our household :)

Tend not to in front of mine, because they are not very sweary themselves.

DobbinsVeil · 05/01/2019 18:49

I wouldn't swear in front of MIL as she really doesn't like swearing. She will tell DH off still! I don't in front of FIL but he wouldn't care tbh. My parents are/were more sweary in general, so no such watching of language in front of them.

Magmatic80 · 05/01/2019 18:55

No I don’t, I don’t swear in front of my mum either. Or other ‘parent’ figures (eg of friends). I do swear in normal life though.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/01/2019 18:58

Dh does. I naturally hardly swear at all for some reason. Dh swears all the time, just part of the language he uses.

Original poster
Somerville · 05/01/2019 19:01

I would love it if MIL told DH off for swearing Grin Much comedy value to be had from that!

My PIL swear - MIL in her mother tongue in front of children which she thinks they don’t understand. (They do.) In fact, when DH told me not to swear so much when I was mid-Brexit debate with FIL, FIL said to him “don’t be so bloody bourgeois!”

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 05/01/2019 19:04

I do. My MIL will swear with/at anyone, and don't take it badly if I say to her "MIL, fuck off, that isn't happening "
Makes it nice and easy to be honest and friendly

AppleKatie · 05/01/2019 19:04

I wouldn’t dream of it.

But you are saying that your DH swears in front of his parents but thinks you shouldn’t?

That’s messed up.

Original poster
Somerville · 05/01/2019 19:09

He thinks he doesn’t swear in front of them Apple but then a swear drops out occasionally. Whereas he makes —bloody— very sure that no swears drop out around my parents because he’s married to their daughter so it would be the height of rudeness and really Somer it would be nice if you were a bit more circumspect sometimes around mine... Hmm

OP posts:
DobbinsVeil · 05/01/2019 20:05

DH has regular shouty sweary arguments with his dad. Usually work-related, but most of their conversations end up with hurrumphing and shouting Hmm. I had a minor row with my mum in front of DH once and he had the nerve to say it was making him uncomfortable and could I stop.Shock We had our own row over that one!

rabbitfoodadvocate · 05/01/2019 20:09

I do. I've got a mouth like a sailor and they took some time to get used to it but find it quite funny now. Especially as my MIL thinks I have a very "posh accent".

OutPinked · 05/01/2019 20:11

Nope and I don’t around my own parents either. My DP does swear around his parents and grandparents which shocked me to no end the first time I met them. All families are different but in my family, we don’t really swear in front of each other and never have. I actually wouldn’t dare swear in front of my Grandparents.

fartfacemcfartfaceface · 05/01/2019 20:17

No never and they're very religious too so can't even say 'oh my god' or 'for god's sake' or anything like that without a cat's bum face being pulled. I'm generally very careful but it has slipped out once or twice over the years.

fartfacemcfartfaceface · 05/01/2019 20:18

For more context I generally swear like a sailor and my own mum isn't bothered in the slightest, and has been known to drop the odd f-bomb here or there.

moredoll · 05/01/2019 20:19

Nope, at best they'd be taken aback. I've never heard either of them swear.

greendale17 · 05/01/2019 20:23

I wouldn't swear in front of my own parents so I won't swear infront of anyone else's.

^This

GobblersKnob · 05/01/2019 20:26

Fuck yeah. I'm rarely in any environments where I have to temper my language.

Alanamackree · 05/01/2019 20:48

No I don’t and dh doesn’t around my dps.
He doesn’t swear around me either, quite a few people don’t. I’ve no idea why because I swear a bit. Not a lot but if I’m riled up or hurt I don’t hold back.
DH has answered work calls in the car on occasion, and while I’d normally say hello, if it sounds urgent I don’t so that I’m not slowing them down. The swearing would turn the air blue. And not just because it’s an emergency, it can be quite casual swearing too. I assume dh responds in kind if I’m not listening. My sil and her dh swear casually in conversation to each other but not when they know I can hear, as do some of my friends. I have absolutely no idea why they don’t in front of me. Hmm

Alanamackree · 05/01/2019 20:49

I don’t actually go round eavesdropping as much as that last post implies

AppleKatie · 05/01/2019 21:11

Fair enough OP that’s not quite as bad as it seemed.

I think it’s a manners thing isn’t it- it’s polite to take manners cues from the eldest people in the room. If PILs swear themselves around you then fine to swear too. If not don’t.

themoomoo · 05/01/2019 21:17

no, never, And never in front of my own parents, or children. In fact, i don't swear. i think it's horrible and scuzzy

Original poster
Somerville · 06/01/2019 13:02

Horrible and scuzzy? Shock What in hell are you doing on MN then themoomoo?

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 06/01/2019 13:08

No, I wouldn't. I have never heard my PIL swear, and I very much doubt that they do. Never heard my own parents swear either. My late father was really angry once (probably the only time I ever saw him properly angry) and he shouted 'for God's sake' and the whole family fell silent we were in such shock.

Have never heard any of my siblings swear either, and have never sworn in front of them.

treaclesoda · 06/01/2019 13:10

In fact, in all honesty, I have never heard someone of an older generation to me swear! (in my life that is, obviously I've heard it on TV and such)