Dc and probable pedophile relative

[BaaBaaBaaMoo]

I'm trying to get some perspective on a situation. I will keep details a little vague as don't want to be identifiable.

A close male relative of DH has been barred from his profession abroad amid allegations of probable sexual relations with a minor. He was in a position of trust and easy access to children.

We only see him for a few hours once a year when he visits. Family lays out the red carpet and we are all expected to spend the afternoon with him.

Since we have seen the article stating his barring(we have not been told by him) we have taken the decision not to have our children near him ever again. DH went briefly to placate his elderly parents who do not know full story.

What we can't understand if all his siblings attended with their young children being paraded about doing party pieces etc! It's as if nothing has happened. They refuse to believe he would do any of the alleged things as he is "family".

Please tell us we are in the right. Obviously know nothing would happen to the kids under our supervision but but the hell is wrong with the rest of the family??

Already posted in 30 days only but not many replies.

Of course you are in the right. I would do the same too. Also his parents should be told exactly what has happened

You can’t reason with stupid.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, other than what you’re doing by keeping your own dc safe.

FWIW I agree with you entirely. My ILs continue to defend a man who murdered his wife to absolutely anyone who will listen.

They may have decided that well-supervised contact at an annual family party is not going to pose a risk, and so can go ahead this year whilst the allegations are still unproven.

Are there prosecutions the pipeline?

No prosecution as quite elderly now. His "organisation" did their own investigation and found it highly probable.

Obviously nothing was going to happen kids when supervised but we decided did not expose kids to him full stop.

They have obviously done their own risk assessment and will keep their DCs safe. Or they are unaware of the allegations. Or they choose to deny the issue, which is very, very common in cases of abuse. Easier than admitting someone is a wrong 'un and your opinion has been shown to be wrong.
In reality, your DCs are probably at very little risk of harm, but I would also feel hugely uncomfortable with attending this family version of the royal variety performance put on in his honour when he does not deserve this kind of reception. Somewhat sickening, to say the least.

I wouldn't take my children, too many examples of inappropriate touching being carried out in public situations. I wouldn't validate his position in the family by turning up as normal either, it sends the wrong message to anyone who has been abused.

It doesn't matter who is right and wrong. You have done what you want to do and the rest of the family have done what they want.

If don't want to/can't influence them then let it be.

I suppose we just struggle to see it from their point of view. They all know of abuse and just choose to pretend it could not have happened.
This relative is not even particularly well liked but appearances need to be kept up.

For some people appearances are everything. The streets are full of people who stand by pedophiles, domestic abusers and even murderers who are charged and convicted.

I'm sure some people think if they don't discuss it then it can't possibly be true.

Personally I think you are absolutely doing the right thing.