Can I get some advice from football/sports parents - especially if you have daughters who play football?

[JuneFromBethesda]

I have two daughters aged 8 and 10. Over the summer they tried some drop-in sessions of girls' football, having never shown any interest in football before, and to my surprise they loved it. They wanted to continue so I signed them up for a 'girls academy' being run by the local children's team. This was open to all abilities including beginners.

Each 1-hour session consists of roughly 30 mins training, then they split into ad hoc teams and play against each other for the remaining 30 mins. A lot of the other girls have more experience (and ability!) but my girls really enjoy the training. The trouble is the matches. There is one child in particular, who is clearly good and plays frequently, who dominates proceedings, completely ignores players she considers aren't good enough (so my girls, plus some of the others) and bullies other children into being in goal.

There are two coaches, both young (20s) and male. I did tentatively mention the imbalance of ability/opportunity last term and I said my elder daughter was feeling a bit pushed out by the better players. The coach said it would even out as the year went on. To be fair they do try to help the less able teams and balance things out - but this child is still running the show when it comes to matches.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I being over-protective? I have no illusions that my daughters are brilliant football talents waiting to be discovered, I just want them to have a fair chance to play and at the moment that isn't happening. My elder daughter is coming home upset from every session and a part of me thinks we should just call it a day - she does lots of other activities so has plenty to keep her busy. But then why should she give up because another child is taking over what is supposed to be a team sport?

I'm feeling out of my depth here as my kids have never done team sports before so I don't know the best way to approach it. Any advice please?

Good coaches will stop this happening; certainly it shouldn't been up to a child to decide who is in goal. I have found that sometimes the young people who do this sort of job are not that great with less able kids. Often they are doing the job because they were the sporty kid themselves and so the sporty kid is the one they see themselves in.

If things don't improve, why not look for another team? It doesn't necessarily need to be a girls'' team; over the years my son's team has had some girls playing. While they are small I don't think there are massive differences physically.

Thanks Tinkly. I'm not sure there are any other local girls' teams, and I honestly don't think a mixed team would work - when the girls did the drop-in sessions over the summer, there were some boys' sessions running alongside and the boys were all noticeably more confident and more experienced. I guess most boys start kicking balls around as soon as they can walk! I think my girls would be lambs to the slaughter if they played with boys, particularly my 10-year-old who is small for her age.

I'm half-inclined to call it a day - my 8-year-old had a friend doing the sessions but the friend has now quit (so 8yo isn't enjoying it as much) and my 10yo will get a chance to play football when she starts secondary school in September.

Gah, this has really made me cross

My Dd 8 has taken up football this year. She also has one child in her team who is much more able than the rest.

However, her coaches are adamant that they are a development team. Everybody gets an equal opportunity to play, even if it means losing matches sometimes. They are deliberately not building the team around the one player.

FYI, the coaches in question are both PE teachers and in their 50s. They are fab, and the main reason DD loves football so much. If possible, find another team with an ethos that suits your Dd better.

Or try and find a club for another similar sport, e.g hockey, which may have a better approach to coaching and development.

This shouldn’t be happening and it wouldn’t in my DDs football team.

I’d look for another team - girls football is rapidly increasing in popularity and there are loads about now.

This shouldn't be happening, particularly at this stage. I'm angry on your daughters' behalf. I have one DD18 who played for 10 years and then moved onto refereeing, and another DD15 who plays at a high level. I've never experienced this with any of their teams over the years. Obviously slightly different for DD15 now as the competition is fierce.

I would contact the FA or SFA and ask about other teams in your area. The Grassroots Football FB page might be helpful, too. The motto of all these agencies is, that are your girls' ages, football should be fun and everyone should be encouraged to take part for enjoyment's sake, rather than how good you are.

I hope you get it sorted out. Football really saved my DD18"s life when she was struggling with MH. If they can find a good team it's like having another family. Good luck!

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the replies - it helps that you don’t think I’m being unreasonable! I’ve paid up to half-term so we’ll keep going until then, and I think I’ll email the coaches or the team administrator to raise the issue again. I’ll have a look to see if there’s anything else locally and hockey might be a good substitute too. Now I just have to stop myself from being That Parent on the sidelines and shouting when my kids get elbowed out of the way ...

My dd moved from a team where she was losing her enjoyment and confidence to the nearest Wildcats (girls only) football training. It’s really brought back her love of football, so I’d suggest having a google for local Wildcats options (our is branded Wildcats but run by our local football team). They have at least one female coach, it’s very supportive and kind, and my dd says it’s so much better as they play as a team and not as lots of competing individuals.

Unfortunately part of it will depend where you live as to how many teams there are and what league there is...

DD ended up not being able to play as there just weren't enough teams of her age group for them to play matches and the huge club half an hour away was way to good for her to get in! Yours are much younger though and it's a growing sport - good luck!!!