In a state and need a friend....

[Justneedakindwordortwo]

That's it really. Just feel incredibly alone right now

Im up and can listen, whats happened?

Hey 🤝

I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed with life and my reactions to everything in it. Logically I know its disproportionate but emotionally I'm a mess

Hey op. I'm up

Hello. What’s happened? Here if you want to chat.

I've cried for almost 2hrs with no signs of stopping and feel ridiculous. Nothing major has happened at all which makes it all seem so silly. Partner not thinking before making comments, not listening to what i was trying to say despite me trying to communicate well. Ended up reinforcing all the negative feelings I'm having despite thst not being their intention

I've been feeling like a crappy mum and wife for a while and tried to fix that on a practical level and emotional level
. Tonight whilst expressing this partner reiterated twice " why dont you enjoy the children?" Despite my protests I do! And i genuinely do I just don't find the same things fun they do

Post Christmas drop is a thing - tired and emotional after all the hype and then straight into new year when we evaluate everything and find it wanting. Go easy on yourself and take things gently for a few weeks.

Thank you

I made a thoughtless comment about not wanting to stay in the house if i kept being made to feel like this and was told to leave then. Again flippantly I doubt he expected me to. I left but it's too cold so I've been sensible and come home

Sometimes life gets overwhelming op.
Happened to me in March last year.

Really I think it had been building up for quite some time but a fair amount of stress from my business and con workers at that time along with a really rocky stage with dh seemed to just tip me over the edge.

I couldn't think straight and panicked and worried to an extreme about every small thing. I would tell myself I was being silly but no amount of thatbstopped it for me.

I was so bad at one point that I would wake up having panic attacks about four to five times at night.
I kept feeling like I couldn't breathe and had convinced myself I had something in my throat or had a reaction to something.
I drove to a local small hospital on a Saturday night as I was so frightened.

They sent me away saying to make an appointment with my gp

I then called 111 and had a lovely nurse call me back who must have realised what was happening. She spent 30 mins talking to me on the phone before I felt calm enough to sit down and not pace.

I spent that weekend in an awful state of mind and didn't want to be left alone in case I suffocated. It was absolutely horrendous.

I went to my gp on the Monday and cried the minute I got in the room. Partly from fear and partly relief that I felt safe there. He prescribed a very low dose medication to help me calm down and diagnosed ptsd and anxiety (previous health condition and emergency surgery causing the ptsd)

I had to keep telling myself in my head that I was fine and nothing was going to happen etc. After a week a felt much calmer and I have learnt how to deal with myself when I get a really bad moment but I still get to that overwhelmed panicky stage however I'm learning how to deal with that.

Do you have a lot of stress at the moment op?x

Sorry you've been in such a situation Jingle, the panic attack is exactly how i felt earlier.

I'm.not really sure how to explain the stress situation without being outing but it's fair to say there is a lot and its ongoing.

I seem to swing between managing wonderfully and crashing terribly I did see a counsellor briefly but convinced myself she was just being nice to me and agreeing with everything I said to be kind so I stopped

I feel like I'm not listened too and my confidence has hit rock bottom. I'm second guessing decisions I wouldn't usually think twice about and feel constantly anxious and on edge.

A doctor has suggested I may have ASD and I'm on a waiting list for assessment but I can't even discuss it beciase when I've mentioned it people dismiss the idea immedietly because of my masking. except I feel like it's slipping under the stress

I can't get to sleep and have 9 nly recently made it out of the fog of "feeling like a crappy wife and mother"
Actually what turned things around was my OH being diagnosed with major Vit D deficiency. When I looked up the symptoms, I quickly came to the conclusion that I should be taking a supplement and a couple of weeks in of max strength tablets from boots and I feel a lot stronger to be able to cope with the kids, keep the house a bit more up-together.
I hope it's not to unhelpful to suggest a visit to the GP to get checked out for Vitamin deficiencies of one kind or another.
But in the meantime, please look after yourself; you're not a crap mum: real crap mums don't cate.
for you

Thank you I'm being treated for several deficiencies so sort of nice to know that may be contributing to how im feeling.

Virtual hand holding and hugs here, I'm going through a shitty time of it right now as well so I get it. January blues out in full force. Cry as long and as hard as you need and then have a nice cuppa. Everything will work out.

You're all very kind . At the start of this thread I was outside freezing and feeling totally unsure what to do. I'm now warm indoors and having a another cry about how kind you all are.
It seems to have bought out a lot of ... not sure of the correct word but suppressed probably fits best, thoughts and worries. Going to try list them later with ideas for resolving

A lot of us get this at times, I think. I describe it as my head is too full. Childcare, housecare, remembering everyone's appointments and needs as well as your own, work, then working at relationship..it's a relentless grind really. I think as women we're expected to automatically be totally 'fulfilled' by all that.

Women need to talk to women about it. We 'get' it in a way I don't feel men do.

Don't make your list too long, OP. Little by little.Even if it's just 1 or 2 positive things a week, to make a dent in what's bothering you.

Don't forget to do something nice for yourself.

You're not alone. You're never alone, and your post has shown you just that. There are always people out there - and well done for reaching out to find someone xxx

Morning op.
Hope your feeling a bit calmer this morning.

It is the mental load they talk about.

Now I feel stronger I make sure I do something for myself each week. Nothing major if I'm skint but I had a long bath and painted my nails the other night. Used a new varnish I'd treated myself to and a lovely body lotion and I felt good afterwards.

I often snatch an hour and sit in the Tesco cafe with a paper and a large coffee in my own. Turn my phone off. It mentally makes me calmer and stops that overwhelming feeling you get.
Don't get me wrong I still have wobbles and def lost confidence after my meltdown but I gave myself the tools to cope better.

I also play candy crush on my phone when I need a distraction. Am on level 550 now so it's been good use!!!
It's a good distraction at 2 am when I can't sleep and can feel myself getting anxious and wound up.
I tried the breathing apps but they didn't work for me. Just made me more panicky

I'm sat outside the doctors about to go in. I'm all over the place tbh almost manic :/

Partner hasnt even asked how i am

Waitinf for doctor to call me now so sat back in car waiting flipping between calm and panicked.

I'm worried theyll think I'm losing it or unable to cope

Op once you get into the dr and explain how your feeling they will know straight away don't worry.

At the stage you are I felt like a rabbit in headlights and didn't know where to start with explaining to gp. But he was brilliant. They see it all the time.
Modern day life is mentally hard.
You've done the right thing by going first thing.
That's what I did as I knew I wasn't well.
I know it's hard but try to think of the relief you will feel once you've spoke. To the gp. That's how I stopped myself from entering full panic attack mode in the waiting room.
With you op. Keep updating. Xx

Partner will have absolutely no idea what's going on in your head. Mine certainly didn't.

He quietly supported me that weekend.
When I said I needed to go to a and e with the physical symptoms I could see he couldn't figure what was going on but as I was in full panic meltdown he did what he does best and went and warmed the car up and made me a coffee while waiting.

It wasn't until he came home from work the day I had been to gp and felt calm enough to explain it all he realised how bad I was.

I think it frightened him to be honest as I've always been strong and able to juggle. He sat up with me through the night panics and listened and just held my hand when I needed it.
Once the meds settled in a bit I could think straighter.

Even my mum was very concerned as she saw me that awful morning before my appointment

@Justneedakindwordortwo - hope you're OK and have had an easier day
I have thought about you a lot today and hope you can start feeling better soon.
Hang on in there

Same here cornflake
Op I've thought of you today and also hope you had a calmer more easier day too.