i've turned into a spender, has anyone turned it around/changed habits?

[cementpointing]

the start of a new year has really made me think about where on earth my income went last year and how i can adjust spending. i hope this wont come across as insensitive/ arrogant as its not the intention - looking for inspiration and tips.

we have good income, its increased over the last year and will again but our mortgage is still huge food bills but lifestyle creep has happened too- we are earning more and spending more, luxuries now are staple items to me and DH is annoyed with frittering away money that we need to start saving for projects. he is a fritter -er but not as bad as me.

things i waste money on

• the coffee shop trips to entertain myself and kids on a quiet day.
• gucci handbags and john lewis trips for homewares rather than dunelm and high street leather bag
• M&S food shops rather than tesco
• convenience over low prices
• more expensive bed linen, £15 flowers rather than the £5 bunch i used to buy
• no longer gordons gin and schwepps, its tanqueray gin with fentimans tonic
• instead of M&S beauty hall own brands, i now buy estee lauder or other premium brands
• no more yankee candles, its dyptique (only the mini sized) or white company.

has anyone been a spender and converted themselves back to still enjoying quality but spending less?

how???

I decided to do a no-spend year a couple of years ago. Cutting it out completely worked better for me than cutting down. I am now spending again but my habits have changed. I am much more restrained than previously, and never buy coffee out or buy impulsively. If I do need something, then I'm happy to pay for decent quality. I do spend a lot on groceries (Ocado) but meal-plan carefully so that we have no food waste - I avoid actually going into supermarkets as I know I'll impulse buy.

Holds hand up.

Me. I used to be quite frivolous but returning to university last year, and now earning a teachers salary has made me cut many, many corners.

Rainy day you say? No more coffee shops. The DC are entertained at home with hot choc and marshmallows and a film.
We’ve cut back cinema trips (which used to involve a trip to Nando’s) and watch films at home.

I take bottles of water with me, never buy a carrier bag and rarely go to the high street as the urge to spend is too much, usually on stuff I don’t really need.

Clothes are now bought for longevity rather than high end fashion which is only worn for a season.

You can rein it back in, you have shown in your post the changes you made whochninvolved spending more, you can revert back.

Learn to be happy with what you have right there and then - nothing wrong with (most) Yankee candles!

We also go on lots of walks - it’s free and occupies the DC.

The other thing I have done is increase my direct debits to overpay the mortgage and to pay into fixed-term savings. If the money isn't in my current account or accessible I can't spend it.

If you don't want to revert to cheaper brands, you could choose to just not buy some things, or to buy them less frequently. For example, I have some inexpensive house plants rather than cut flowers. I allowed myself to buy expensive make up for my wedding, but I have been using it up and have not bought any more at all. Could you use the same handbag for an extra year? Or have a couple of cheap, easy dinners a week such as baked potatoes, soup or pasta?
If you picked 3 of these or any other suggestions that cause you the least pain and stick with them, then the savings will start.

Also, check that you are not paying more than you should be for things like utilities and insurance. Martin Lewis's website is excellent for advice. Good luck!

It doesn’t sound too lavish, OP, so maybe just spread the spending out?

It’s fine to go for coffee, just not every day. Nothing wrong with nice tonic water and gin - just cut down how much you are drinking.
Personally I would rather have no candle than cheap candles - so don’t burn candles all the time except when feeling a bit treat-y.

It sounds as though you just need to re-set a bit by giving yourself a target or targets (no spend days, food spend budgets) and treats.

I use wax melts rather than candles as I don’t think the candles have a good throw on the smell.
We burnt a white company candle today and you could barely smell it!

I think it’s fine to splurge on things you love but they really have to spark joy rather than just for the sake.
I actually prefer spending less as it makes me value what I have.
Yes to putting money somewhere other than your current account.
Work our exactly how much disposable income you want to spend and then only give yourself that, put it on a Monzo card or similar then you can buy the treats you like but you don’t have access to all your money for extra bits.

How about just not buying any new handbags, candles, home wares or bed linen for a year? I'm sure you'll be fine without any of that stuff for 12 months.

I used to be a spender and shudder to think what I wasted my money on.

When I got pg with DS we decided to cut right back and put money aside each month.

So I took out spending money for each of us at the start of the week and when it was gone that was it. No more was to be used!

Made lunches to take to work and stopped going shopping into town.

Leave debit card at home if you can and take emergency £5 if going out somewhere like park with dc. It saves that "oh I'll just pop into xxx" on the way home

Overpay mortgage and standing order into savings. You can soon turn it around op!

ah thanks for replying!! i dont earn much as my income supplements but i estimate i'm wasting about £300 a month on non-essentials or shopping at pricier stores and then obessively thinking about furniture etc, splurging on a random side table or lamp setting us back another £300 odd every other month. we dont need it, i just think we can afford it, so why not but in reality, just because we're not in the red, we arent moving forward in savings for big things as much as we need to. dh has to pick up the financial slack.

excellent ideas, i think i might move money into paypal for splurges.

By deciding what is important and making value judgements on what matters. Don't look at the cost of the labels to decide if it is valuable. Does the product do what you need and want it to do.... If so it does not matter what name is on the label.

Gucci, Fenteman's, M&S all spend a lot of money on trying to part people from their money - you don't have to believe what they tell you.

I've reduced my spending a lot in the last couple of years and don't miss it most of the time. Some of the following happened naturally as my priorities and lifestyle changed and some I had to get used to:

• shopping at greengrocers, Aldi and Tesco and cooking and baking from scratch more often. Less eating out because I have something nicer and homemade at home. Only going to M&S/Waitrose for the occasional treat
• Aldi special deals for things home/hobby/lifestyle related
• cooking lots of vegetarian meals using lentils/beans etc, buying meat and fish less often, about to start using local butcher so I can buy cheaper cuts of meat
• frozen fruit and veg instead of fresh where possible
• giving up caffeine - improved sleep, less anxiety and no temptation to buy drinks on the go any more
• buying clothes on ebay (my increasing loathing for high street shopping and clothes shopping in general has saved a lot of money)
• when I do buy clothes new, buy classic styles and good quality that will last
• treating it as a challenge to replace all my cosmetics with budget products, there are really good ones now that work
• occasionally cutting my own hair instead of going to the hairdresser (proceed with caution on this..) or waiting longer between appointments
• using the library instead of buying books (still working on this one), or buying books second hand
• only burning nice candles occasionally (I've made a diptyque candle last 6 years!)
• using moneysaving expert for deals (eg 2 for 1 cinema tickets tuesdays and wednesdays)
• learning how to do basic DIY/gardening jobs myself instead of paying

Ps I should say, now that I limit the spendier things I enjoy them much more than before, and I get genuine satisfaction from finding cheaper things that work and not getting ripped off. That's probably how I've managed to keep going with it.

I wouldn't cut out cafes (i love them too much!) but if you don't want to buy cheaper items, just buy fewer of them? How many handbags do u need? One bunch of flowers every month or two instead of weekly etc.