Family Wedding dilemma - others point of view needed please

[Minniemojaz]

In short... my sisters husband to be is a cheat. Whilst planning their wedding he’s been having an affair. It’s transpired this is not the 1st time but 3rd in their 14 years together. There seems to be drama after drama in the family with her falling out with most as she’s clearly angry and hurt and upset but aiming her emotions at the wrong people. She’s totally blinded. I’m pretty much the only one left going to the wedding from the family going and probably the only one who knows what he’s like. They have grown up children who are not going.

Dilemma, how do I get thorough the day not showing the hypercritical person I’ll be as can’t stand infidelity and am so angry at him. I love my sister so so much and want to support her, this is her dream but it’s just madness marrying him still, so soon anyway with no time to repair their relationship.

She’s started on me this week implying I’m not welcome if I do not support them both. I’m so angry being put in this position. I’ve done nothing but be there for them all always.

Any advice appreciated - thanks in advance

I couldn't go. It's a mockery. You want to support her but she's demanding you support them both or not bother attending? There's your out, right there.

Don't go. Your sister wants s you to be there to show support for them both but you clearly aren't wanting to do this/ can't do it, for the right reasons. Your sister has already implied you are not welcome by adding terms as to why you should attend - to reflect your support...

If the rest of the family aren't going,is it because they are aware of her partner's behaviour?

Hi, thanks all.. and yes the others are not going as either fallen out over his actions or just made their excuses already because they are not wanting to.

I’m between a rock and a hard stone. She’s testing me I feel and I’m losing my patience.. believe me I’ve been patient. It’s not fair, I’m being made to feel like the bad person but done nothing wrong. My grown up daughter is supposed to be bridesmaid and me MOH 😏 My son has already cancelled his holiday as feels the wedding is a joke. There will be bad feeling either way and never be the same regardless I feel and we have to stick to our morals and true. I’m not over reacting am I?

Hi, thanks all.. and yes the others are not going as either fallen out over his actions or just made their excuses already because they are not wanting to.

I’m between a rock and a hard stone. She’s testing me I feel and I’m losing my patience.. believe me I’ve been patient. It’s not fair, I’m being made to feel like the bad person but done nothing wrong. My grown up daughter is supposed to be bridesmaid and me MOH 😏 My son has already cancelled his holiday as feels the wedding is a joke. There will be bad feeling either way and never be the same regardless I feel and we have to stick to our morals and true. I’m not over reacting am I?

Not over reacting: a mixture of sticking with someone that is repeatedly cheating and behaving so terribly...there is already no joy in this wedding so drop out, give your sister a clear picture of how things are.

Will she be better off financially if they marry? If so, I could paste a grin on for the day knowing when they get divorced she would be better off than they if they split as an unmarried couple. Cynical I know but worth thinking about.