I have been reflecting on the last 12 months, and feeling incredibly sad, I have work in 3 hours but really dark thoughts are going round and round in my head.
I lost my lovely mum 6 months ago, she had cancer and Alzeimers, I know its a cliché but she really was my best friend as well as my mum. I am in a job where I am being bullied by a colleague that I actually interviewed and offered him the position, he has now shown his true colours and is being aggressive and rude to others so I am having to deal with that. My long distance relationship is coming to an end after 6 years, I have had my eyes opened recently to how badly he treated me, a colleague said to me, that she understood as when we are lonely we assume any relationship is better than none.
I have 3 lovely DC in their 20s, my eldest DS is moving out and buying a place with his DGF, My middle DS has already left home, but he works with me so I know I will still see him, My DD is still at home but all loved up with her DBF (he is a lovely lad). I am happy for them, but its come to my attention how alone I am, I have no close friends, just acquaintances. I would like to travel, but not sure travelling alone would make me happy.
I feel like I am in a very bad place at the moment, and cant stop having bad thoughts, if anyone is awake and happy to chat, please talk to me. I am very lonely at work and at home and I don't know how to cope with these feelings.