what’s your biggest worry and why

[Thisisit777]

Me: one of our Dc has autism. I worry we have failed him as parents - despite our best efforts. He struggles and we don’t seem very effective at helping him. I worry about the effects of his autism (outbursts) on our other dc. And for his future.

You?

Going to court for money I’m owed and the defendants lying on me

My children being abducted.

I don’t think I’d be strong enough to cope with that.

I'm going to court next week as my dog and i were badly attacked. All the other owner has done is lie lie and lie a bit more. I'm feeling sick to my stomach knowing that's what they will do on the day.

How my DC3 is going to be affected by the rare genetic condition she has. The future is so unknown.

Sounds ridiculous but I worry about DS not having friends (he's 20 months 😆) I worry about his wee sad face if no one wants to play with him...how odd!

I also worry about our dog and his behaviour issues and whether something might happen.

I can be quite an irrational worrier!

I worry about money.

How vacuous and superficial is that.

But I feel like it underpins all our other problems.

We actually aren’t poor and all our bills are paid and we aren’t in debt but I still find myself worrying.

Life is too short.

Fatal or serious car crashes. I worry all the time that me or one of the family will be in one.

I worry about how we, in the comfortable 'West' are going to be in maybe one, short generation, being forced to live the lives of so many homeless, destitute, starving, desperate people as are alive today, seething across the planet.

What 'happy accident' has put us here, and them there?

What really sets us apart from drowned toddlers washed up on our shores; from defenceless grandmothers, women and children raped and murdered at the whim of the newest war-lord? Having first watched our husbands and sons being beheaded -or worse? The torched village; The screaming in the night? Where only The Strong Man Wins (until a stronger man comes along, and takes everything he 'owns' by force)? This is much of history.

Our 'civilisation' is a thin veneer, one that many, including those that we would think should have- have no regard for. Because they see themselves a 'the strong/the winners/able to protect what's their's'.

I think a terrible reckoning may be upon us shortly, one way or another. What visits this upon us is moot- The withdrawal of the USA as The Global Policeman; the re-invigoration of an emboldened Russia as a result; being overwhelmed by the middle East with its newly emergent conservatism; Global warming; China bankrupting us.

Sorry, a bit of a 'remove' from a 20 month old being able to make friends, but you did ask!

miljah oh no now that's my worry too! 'The Road' type scenario is my usual worry - whether i would battle on potentially to be attacked/ eaten, or just give up and kill us and dc first. But thought is so dreadful i try to push it out of my mind...

If you mean immediate worry, then probably how i will cope as dm gets iller (she has alzheimers).

Similar to you OP. We’re just starting down the path of ds (19 months) having assessments and my heart is breaking for him.

I’m also 20 weeks pregnant and worried if having another baby is doing the right thing - is will it affect him negatively or (hopefully) help him in the long run.

I worry about my dd who takes drugs.

Torty -couldn't watch 'The Road'. I knew what it was about and no 'coming of age' redemption was going to rescue it, or me, from my 'dark night' fear.

Immediate worry? Yeah, the usual- the first year student boy who can't be reached on his phone- so Security (rudely) agree (grumpily) to bash on his Halls of Residence door (we are paying £6000pa for your services!!) , as obviously, in Freshers Week, Day 4, with no answer at noon- he's dead in a ditch somewhere.

Or he was sufficiently drunk his phone battery died.....

'Whaaa? Oh, hi mum....'

Me: 'Darling! There are zombies at the door! Make yourself unappetising!'...

DH's brain tumour.

Loki It may be of no use, but the DS in the 'useless first year uni student' sketch, above, is my son. He underwent assessments for autism at 20 months, then 22, then 24. Our paediatrician was very much on the fence.

Obviously properly supported kids with autism spectrum tendencies can do uni, and can do life.

But DS1 (19) isn't really 'on the spectrum' at all. Those 20/22/24 month (and my on-going worries) weren't, I believe, founded. Though he ticked an awful lot of boxes!

I was in a dark place when he was 2 years old, but it allowed me to connect with other parents in the same place; so now, 20-odd years later, I know my DS is probably not on that Spectrum, but many who were, are doing brilliantly, meeting challenges, following dreams.

I digress!!

me worry? Ha. I am the empress of worry.

Rats. Mice. Toddlers falling from great heights. DD's drinking. How DC shall afford homes, keep jobs. Trump. World War III. Not all in this order mind you.

Strangely enough, no zombies on my list.

My middle daughter. Will she manage life?

I live in the US - in a blue state. Still, the growing disparity between haves and have-nots and, in particular, the growing disparity between government and the will of the people being governed, bothers me greatly. We are in the haves category but I want my children to have a niceish life surrounded by others having a niceish life - not an amazing life at the expense of everyone else. That never ends well.

My dm. She battled through cancer 3 times. Bowel, then it spread to her liver twice. She had a double heart bypass in the summer, so I worry for her constantly. That, and df passed away 18months ago, so she’s on her own all day. It raises my anxiety to the max.

I worry WAY too much but am trying hard to let things go. I wasted weeks & weeks fretting about the behaviour of a friend ( now possibly an ex friend) & trying to work out what if anything had gone wrong. All I needed to do was talk to her but never did.
My biggest worry is having a stroke or getting cancer or dementia 😞

That I’ll never meet someone and never get to start my own family.

That I’m generally unsuccessful in life and never achieve anything.

My worries are pretty broad because I worry about EVERYTHING.

Biggest enduring worry - that my mother is right and I am a monstrous evil creature and have totally fucked up my DC.

All of my many other worries pale into comparison.

Miljah, I worry about that too. Exactly as you say - a happy accident that we are "here" and they are "there". A very thin line of so-called civilisation separates us.
In the meantime, I am terrified about Brexit and the impact of an economic crash. I live on my own and am struggling with my outgoings as it is, paying out more will cripple me and I can't even begin to think about what will happen if I lose my job.

That I'll never be successful

How interesting how you could draw a line between the 'local' and the 'global' on here; given that they're so linked.

IMO, if the global goes tits up, which is my fear; worrying about 'the local' is futile, if not laughable.

I do not laugh at local fears; but I do ask that Global Reality must have a look in, given how it will screw with all of us, should when it all turns nasty.

@Miljah it is of use, thank you.

We have our first paediatrician appointment in a few weeks and I’m hoping they are of the opinion that it’s my fault that ds is regressing and not communicating- that I’m not good enough as a mother, as I know that if that’s the case I can ‘fix’ it.

But it Doesn’t give much hope when everyone we’ve seen so far (salt, play therapists and HV) all say ‘when’ he gets his diagnosis rather than ‘if’

That I can't change careers. I don't want to do my job anymore