Is it strange to put both children in one room when they could have a bedroom each?

[MrsScamander]

DD(5) and DD(10mo) currently share a biggish bedroom as we're renting a 2 bed flat.

So far it's working well, youngest DD still wakes during the night but eldest DD doesn't wake up. We currently put the baby to sleep in our room and transfer her into her room when we go to bed and eldest is asleep.

We're looking to buy a 3 bedroom flat, the master bedroom is a very good size with loads of storage space and room for toys (of which there are many!)

My plan would be for the children to share the big master bedroom as it would fit all their furniture. They'd have plenty of room to play and we wouldn't constantly have toys in our living room, currently we have to keep toys in our living room because we have nowhere else to put them and I hate it.

Me and DP would have one room with our bed and chest of drawers, and another with the wardrobe, dressing table, clothes horse and ironing board.

This appeals as I hate that at the moment we have nowhere to hide the clothes horse, it's in our bedroom at the moment and gets in the way.

But when I've discussed this with others they think we're silly not to give each DD their own bedroom and we have the master bedroom.

It's not our forever home and by the time the oldest is a teen we'd hopefully be somewhere bigger so they can have their own room, but right now they don't seem to mind each other.

Is it a silly idea?

No - as long as they are happy with it why not?

My two share, and we have enough rooms that they don't have to

That is quite a big age gap and i think by the time the oldest is a few years further in school/getting lots of homework it will get more of a strain

I would. That setup sounds ideal rather than two rooms then cramming everything into the master

I think it sounds a good idea.

And when they start longing for their own bedrooms you can let them have what they want and you get a nice big room again. Win/Win !

I always hated the idea of sharing with my sister so wouldn't want my children to share a room if I could avoid it. But nothing is reversible - you could always see if they ask for their own room at any time and rearrange if so?

I think the set up you are planning sounds perfect for your needs.

Mine share and we have enough rooms for them to have their own. They love it (they’re 5 and 3) and at the moment would hate to be apart. As soon as they stop loving it, they can have their own rooms. In the meantime we have an office and a guest room which are useful to us!

TBH, I wouldn't fancy it as I think it's fairer for children to have their own space if possible, and because if one of them is sick and you're trying to look after them/let them snuggle up in bed, the other one will either get disturbed themselves or will have to be told they can't go in their bedroom in case they disturb the ill one.

I relate to hating having the ironing board/clothes horse in the way, but I'd look for another solution. Can the clothes horse go in the bathroom (esp if you fix a strong hook on the wall so you can hang it up)?

I found that my dd would play in their rooms - they wanted to be where it was going on and not too far from me. You may find it harder than you think to shift the toys and play from the living room.

Wouldn't play that should be!

My 6 and 9yo DSs share our biggest bedroom and have done since they were tiny. They like it, it means they entertain each other in the mornings instead of coming in to us, and I really like having two spare bedrooms!

That sounds like a good idea as you have the option to give them their own rooms if the older one starts asking

It’s not a problem now but it might become one in the next few years.

The problem comes when the oldest has play dates and can’t legitimately shut the younger one out of her room to play with her friends without a toddler in the way.

By the time the older one is 8 or 9 they might prefer physical privacy for getting dressed and undressed. Difficult if sharing with a 3 or 4 year old.

You can’t keep putting he little to bed in your room as they get older but your eldest is likely to have a substantially different bedtime. It’s going to be hard for the eldest to do things like read in bed.

It’s a big age gap. How will the eldest be able to have toys with are inappropriate/unsafe for a child 4 years younger in their room?

It’s different if you have no choice. If all you have is two bedroom then you just have to manage but if you have the choice I recommend giving everyone their own space.

TBH, I wouldn't fancy it as I think it's fairer for children to have their own space if possible

Even if they want, and ask, to share?

Yes if they hated it in the future we'd be able to switch over (not planning on decorating the room with "children's" wallpaper ifswim so we could live with it as well as them)

I shared a room with my sister through necessity and there's the same age gap between us, I never minded it and we got our own rooms when I was 12 so hopefully we'll be able to do the same!

It should be fine now if the 5 year old doesn't care but it will be an issue in the future. As long as you're willing to move things round and give them their own rooms when they're a bit older or the older one asks then it's not a problem.

Happyandshiney you've raised some good points I hadn't thought about!

I'm hoping in the near future we'll be able to put younger DD to bed in her own room, right now she will only go to sleep if fed and older DD does like to natter to herself in bed!

I think it'll be something we trial before we decorate (we aren't doing everything all at once) and if it doesn't work we can switch over

My friend’s children (boy and girl - three year age gap) shared until the eldest left year six. They loved it and my Dd (friends with the son) always loved staying there - huge bedroom with three beds tons of books, Lego, fairies and pirates st various stages.

They did it until one of them wanted their own room (kids always knew it was an option).

We have enough bedrooms for ours to have one each, but they asked to share a year ago and they love it, so they do. I don't think it's weird at all.

My 2 shared for a year when they were 6/7 and 3/4 when we had a 3rd bedroom, but decided this year they needed their own space for various reasons. We waited until DS2 was 3 before sharing, we didn't feel it was fair on DS1. With the age gap you have I'd probably utilise the bedrooms tbh, as your eldest is in school she may want friends around etc?

I have a 4 year age gap between my daughters. When we moved our youngest out of the Moses basket into a cot, they shared a bedroom. After an extension, they each had their own room. But - the youngest used to leave her room and go sleep with her sister. When we later moved house, both girls shared a bedroom until eldest was 13 and wanted more privacy. Prior to that, they wanted to be together.

I see no issue with your plans.

I don’t think it is weird either, common when I was growing up 50 years ago, less common these days but not remotely weird.

Mine share. It's great having another room available - my desk (I work from home) is there with the big computer, clotheshorse, ice skating stuff.

My two are close in age and would FREAK if they had to sleep alone. I get called up to their room at least once a week to one of them in tears because the other has fallen asleep and now they're (the one left awake) lonely. 🙄

My youngest two have a five year old gap and they loved sharing until the oldest started high school. They still have regular 'sleepovers' now, 2 years later. Go for it.