Pick up/drop off or ask parents to stay for a 4th birthday party

[radioactiveimagination]

I'm having a little birthday tea for my STB 4 yo DD with around 4 kids from nursery, plus her cousin and baby brother. The GPs and my DSis and BIL will be here, plus my DH. Can't decide if I should tell parents they can just drop the kids off and pick them up after a couple of hours or ask them to stay. Then do I need to cater for the adults too? Is it complete madness to assume we could keep a bunch of 3/4 yos under control without their parents? Will parents think I'm rude for telling them they needn't stay? Am I overthinking it all?

I wouldn’t be happy to leave a 4 yr old in afraid.

You don’t need to cater for the adults though, although it’s nice to have a nibble if it falls over lunchtime.

I would be surprised if people let their nursery age children stay at a strangers house without them. With a small number of them I think I would be okay if they wanted to leave them.

I wouldn't say anything and would just see what they do on the day. Take numbers if they do want to leave.

I think parents expect to stay for 4 year olds. Some may be happy to leave them. I think you offer either way but I’d expect them to stay.

With mine I generally stayed with them before school age. You don't need to fully cater for parents if they stay, but you could have some drinks and nibbles in the kitchen and let them know they can help themselves or just let them pick at the remains of the party food.. there's usually loads leftover.

Ok stay it is! Thanks, that's made my mind up. Although most of the parents are friends of mine and they've all been over for play dates before, I take the point that they are still a bit little.

I think for a very small party with children who have been before, plus that many adults on hand, I'd be asking the parents if they want to drop and run. You've got their contact details. So much easier without grown ups taking up space.

See it is an opportunity to get to know the parents, particularly if they are going to the same school next year. My DD is now 9 but, in general, it's still the mum's from the round of nursery parties who I know best & call in a crisis as you get to know someone much better over a series of 2hr parties than you do in two minutes at the school gate.
For DD's 4th birthday, we had a similar number of guests & did it from 10.30 - 12.30 as I knew one of the guests still napped after lunch.
As soon as the children arrived, they had a snack (mixture of chopped fruit, veg & party rings) & I offered the mums a cup of tea. The children had lunch at midday and I was doing pizza and more veg sticks & offered to put in extra pizza if the parents wanted to eat & to make up a salad.
Two of the mums who came continue to be really good friends of mine 5 yrs later & I'd never met one of them before the party. One family moved away & the other I still see occasionally but her DC are at a different school.

If you are short on space you can give them the option.