Need advice on living situation

[NappingForever]

Hi,

Up until last summer I was living with my ex partner of 8 years. We lived with family for most of it but moved into a rented 2bed flat in early 2018.

Our relationship ended and with the lease still ongoing I had to find a flatmate to share with as I couldn't afford the place on my own.

Well I hate it. I don't like sharing my space with a stranger but it's the only option if I want to live in the city I work in.

However, I was saving up to buy previously and could afford to buy somewhere in a city other than where I currently work. This would mean commuting on the train daily but overall my costs would be fairly similar to they are currently.

The only concerns I have are that I would be moving away from friends and family that live very close by to me currently. I am not happy in my home at the moment and it's making me seem to rely more on friends and family than I did over the summer when I was briefly living alone (2-3months I think) Overall I'm a fairly independent person, but with everything that's changed in my life this year (I'm also chronically ill) I don't know what decision to make for the best.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think if it was me I would make the move to the new city. I always really dislike having to share my space with anyone other than a DP so completely sympathise with you on that point, I would sacrifice a lot to maintain my own space.

How long is the commute and are you worried about it impacting on your health? Is it a straightforward train commute where you can get a seat and enjoy some quiet reading/music/relaxation time or it is a nightmare stressful line with multiple changes, as that makes a huge difference?

Re your family and friends, I tend to think that providing both sides are prepared to put in some effort, distance shouldn't be insurmountable in maintaining relationships, particularly as from the sounds of it the cities are not too far apart? It can even improve relationships if you have to make a conscious effort to make plans together rather than just seeing people casually because they happen to be there, if you see what I mean? But of course it can be circumstantial, if you regularly need their physical help (as opposed to emotional support which can be given remotely) and your family have difficulties in travelling it could be an issue, have you spoken to them about your plans?

Would it be possible for you to take a 6 or 12 month rental in the new city and try it out, that way if you do find the commute a problem or that you hardly ever see friends it's not too late to go back to old city? I know you would have had to give up your current tenancy but from the sounds of it, the situation is really not working for you so what do you have to lose?