Maintenance - Anyone understand the logic

[Chrissybear]

Firstly Happy New Year,
This is my first post, so apologies in advance if in the wrong place

Im recently divorced and pay c180 per month for my 16 yo daughter, she spends 3 nights with me, 3 nights with ex, and 1 night at a a friends, thereby being (in her eyes) fair.

If however i became the resident parent my ex would have to pay me c280, as per csa calculator.

Income affects maintenancd how ? My daughter hasnt got more expensive depending who the resident parent is

If i became resident parent, In reality nothing would change, except i would benefit by c460 per month ! Surely we shouldnt pay each other anything, given an equal split of time, apart from maybe one off stuff like a bus pass for college etc.

Do the csa really estimate if costs between 360 to 560 per month for a 16 yo?

Im not looking to turn this into a rant against the csa, id just like to understand the logic.

Would appreciate anyone's thoughts

Thanks

Because it's not a flat rate, it goes off your earnings - because why should children miss out on what you earn? If you were together they wouldn't miss out on your earnings so why should they when you're apart?

There's not a set amount that a child should cost, high income families spend more on their kids then low income families.

Can you imagine in a non divorced family, if the parents were driving lamborghinis but buying second hand cloths for the kids it wouldn't be fair, but if the parents were on benefits and second hand cloths were all they could afford then it would be fine.

Parents are expected to provide the same standard of living for there children as they have, so as you earn more you are expected to pay more.

Ok, ive probably confused the issue. Its not that i disagree with the link to earnings as such, more that given my daughter spends 50% of the time with each of us, surely neither party should pay the other (apart from one off additional stuff)

Taken to the extreme, if my daughter spends every night at mine, i would still have to pay c 30 per week per the csa calculator. This would increase if my income increased, even tho my daughter lives with me, and would be benefitting anyway.

I wish i did have a lambo, daughters driven one ☺

If your dd spent every night at yours your ex wife would pay you. I don't know where you get your figures?

I don't think you should be paying her anything to be honest as you both have equal residence.

How was it decided you would be paying maintenance when it’s a fairly even split?

Is it actually 4:3 nights in favour of your ex but DD has decided to spend one of those nights at her mates house?

It’s got nothing to do with kids getting more expensive, it’s a percentage of the parents income

Presumably you earn more and therefore pay to contribute to her living costs while she's with her other parent? I think that's fairly standard if there's a gap in income.

No it doesn't work that way. If your daughter spent every night with you then your DD mother would have to pay YOU child support.

I agree with another poster who said the mum has her 4:3 nights a week.

You can always phone CSA if your unsure but your daughter 16, you won't be paying for her much longer so really is it worth causing this fuss?

I agree with the op in that you shouldn’t actually pay her anything if it’s truely 50/50. I presume your ex also receives child benefit? A lot will depend on who pays for uniforms, school buses, school trips etc, shoes, clothes, hair cuts? Who pays the lions share of any such expenses? If it’s your ex then it would be right you pay her.

But, she’s 16 now so it’s unlikely you’ll be paying much longer

However youd dd splits her time, someone is pying for her keep. Who buys her clothes? Pays for trips? Spending money? Music / sport / swimming lessons? Lunch? Uniform? Day trips?

And not only who pays, but who deals sith the mental load? Who is the one who says dd needs new shoes / hair cut / new stationery for school / revison guides / new hair bobbles / a trio paying for / exam paying for?

Who is checking her homework?

I agree C0untDucku1a about the mental load, however child maint doesn’t take this into consideration. It’s purely based on everyday living costs.

Wow, didn't expect this many comments, to try and answer each one--

Restingbutchface - I wish that was true (emotionally & financially), the figures come form the CSA calculator

Bitchqueen90 - Thanks

Inigoan - when I originally moved out, ex had DD for a few months - I then bought a house, and my DD agreed to spend 3 nights at mine, so yes to the 4:3 split. The court / consent order has me paying as per the CSA formula - hence my query. I think I'm stymied anyway, as there is no way ex. would agree with me, even if I said I'd pay DD rather than ex.

I think I was ambushed a little and not in a good place at the time - oh well, lesson learned :-)

Adaline - it's actually the reverse, just to put some context around this, my ex earns c50k, I earn c30k

Safetyfreak - not according to the CSA calculator, but I absolutely take on board your comment re. the fuss - it will only be for another year or so. I was just questioning the logic - to be blunt I'd have no issue paying the money to my DD rather than my ex

Whoknewbeefstew - I agree with you, and I don't mean to come across as churlish, it's just a bit annoying

Countduckula - I agree that my ex pays for things like haircuts, school bus pass, but other than that my DD doesn't really have any additional expenditure, I give her pocket money each week, and take her shopping every so often

I also take the point re. mental load - but that's very much a two way street, if I push too hard for homework / chores, she would simply stop coming, so I have to be quite careful how I phrase such things

Thanks very much for all your comments - really appreciate getting alternative views