Curing dog phobia. Desperate

[Spotsbeforemyeyes]

I'm desperately seeking a cure for my dd's debilitating dog phobia.

She's 11 and Autistic. Nothing has caused her to be afraid of dogs she just is. We avoid going to places that there might be dogs, if she sees one off a lead she's paralyzed and if she sees one in a lead she's hyperventilating and sobbing.

She's resisted hypnosis because her fear makes her too scared to be cured if that makes sense.

She's sobbing in bed now because one of her new friends has 2 dogs which means she can't go round their house and the other friend ( a group of 3 including DD) can and she'll get left out.

I don't know what to do, desensitization is not an option for the time being.

Anyone

Can't advise myself but maybe ask for this to be moved to the dog house for better traffic?

After lots of thought and research we got a puppy. It worked, but obviously a HUGE commitment which I had to really want too.

Prior to that we used to sometimes ask people to put their dogs in another room and explained our dd’s fears. I know just what you mean about dogs being everywhere though.

If desensitisation and hypnotherapy aren’t options, would you consider antianxiety meds or CBT to bring her anxiety under control to a point where she might consider strategies to deal with the phobia

onlytowin she would have a heart attack if we got a dog, we're a long way off that yet.

Vetinari does that work! CBT

Know exactly what you mean. My dd spent the first two weeks of us having a puppy standing on the table and would not come downstairs unless he was put outside. Felt like I had made the worst mistake ever, but as I type now she is sitting cuddling him and her confidence has soared.

I'm with your DD. I bloody hate dogs. I just don't like them near me with their slobber and smelly breath and smell and crap. It's not particularly fear. I just hate them and the way they sniff at you and jump up at you.

Does she like facts?

My eldest is Autistic and when he's over thinking something in an emotional way we try to take it back to facts to rationalise.

Can she cope with pictures of dogs I.e. some books from the library? What about pictures of puppies, dressed up dogs, things like Instagram feed of certain dogs. Gentle daily exposure. There are of dog tv shows, there was a children and dog training series on BBC not so long ago.

My youngest DD (7) and I watched a Netflix the other day the life of puppies. About an hour long around four litters of puppies, very factual and humerous observations on their early life and behaviours.

What about dogs with professions like guide dogs - does she find them more tolerable or accept the advantage they create. Would something like organising some fundraising for guide dogs and her exploring the need and benefit of working dogs help her to accept some dogs be a good move forwards?

Would the friend with the new dogs consider appointing your dd a doggy godmother? Maybe she could write to it and have face time calls? Let her feel she was getting to know it /them - it wouldn't be a strange ddog if she could build up to meeting it /them.
My dd (2 ish yo)was also terrified but we got a puppy.
A rottweiler pup and dd sobbed all the way home.
They have a lovely relationship now.
At 9 +12.

Getting a cat has really helped my children get used to animals in general, and they are now better around other people's dogs because they are just more used to animals' movements/faces/sniffs/noises/unpredictability, etc. This may be a gentler form of exposure to begin with.

I had a terrible phobia of dogs growing up. I couldn't go into someone's house if they had a dog and wouldn't put it in another room. I only got over it when a family member got a puppy when I was 17. Being around the dog growing up really helped and I'm now able to be around dogs although I still don't like them jumping up at me. I would say more exposure to dogs in a controlled environment would help if you know someone who would be willing to help. Perhaps starting with the dog being held but in the same room to start with and then working up to stroking the dog etc.... sympathies it's no fun and I know people often don't understand how difficult it is.

rippleeffects she has touched a pat dog when she was in primary school once when it was attached to it's handler and she was in the same room as another pat dog and her handler.

We've watched that programme about the lives of puppies, she thinks they're adorable and really enjoyed watching. She can easily tolerate pictures.

Her friends mum has sent some photos of friend cuddling dog. DD has seen it.

We sponsor a dog with dogs trust and she picked it from some photos but she has no inclination to ever see it for real.

She does understand that the likelihood of being hurt is slim to negligible and hates her life.

I know you said desensitisation wasn't possible, but if she is willing to try it can take many forms.

Could you watch films with dogs in? Get get used to seeing dogs interact with humans on TV? Funny dog videos on YouTube? Look st books? Do you have a friend with an elderly placid dog who could walk at the opposite side of a field/outdeide your house with Dd safe inside the house? Could she sit in a car and watch dogs from afar and gradually get closer? Could she then do it with the car window open? Then the door?

Desensitisation can be broken down into the tiniest little steps if she's willing to participate in the process.

She's scared of cats too. Any animal actually but dogs are the worst.

We've tried asking people to put the dog in the garage, outside etc but she becomes so distressed if she hears it. ☹️

I had a dog phobia and accidentally cured it. When I was breastfeeding, for some reason my anxiety levels were much, much lower than usual, so instead of being terrified of dogs, I was just scared, and was able to spend time with friends' dogs in situations that felt ok, and get to understand their body language. This made a huge difference, and I would now really like a dog of my own. Sometimes if I am stressed, I can feel the phobia starting to come back and I make an effort to interact with nice dogs until it goes away again.

Obviously the breastfeeding thing isn't any use, but there's probably some kind of equivalent anti-anxiety medication plus proper professionally done desensitization which might work.

broomstickoflove that's interesting because that is how anyone anxiety meds work isn't it?

I would try introducing her to a calm, well behaved dog while walking. Just arrange for the owner to bring the dog on the lead, join them when the walk has begun, walk alongside them for a while somewhere that there is plenty of room for her to be out of reach of the dog and then go your separate ways. No beginnings or endings where you stop walking and hang around cars, etc.

Dogs on leads during walks tend to be much calmer, more predictable and less interested in humans. It is a much less intense experience than being in a room with one and being the source of a new exciting set of smells.

Make it very short at first and let her lead progress once it's started. Don't encourage her to do anything other than be walking in the same direction as the dog out of reach of the end of the lead.

What about trying an animal behaviourist/ dog trainer to do a session with your DD on dogs behaviour identifying friendly gestures, agression etc?

You could email and explain the situation.

DS does lots of talk about training through speech and language services at school. They do lots of work looking at pictures of happy faces, sad faces, scared faces plus body language and discuss how that person might be feeling. I wonder if an animal equivalent could be made or even exists.

On that note if you're under speach and language services a speach therapist might give you some pointers - could be worth a call.

Our situation was slightly different because DD actually wanted a dog but she was absolutely petrified of them! She would scream blue murder if one sniffed her or try to climb a lamp post if one was walking on lead towards her. She wouldn’t get within ten feet of a dog- wojld cross the road before she’d share the pavement with one. I don’t know why she was so scared- nothing had ever happened to her and her brother never had the same fear.

What finally happened was that on a train home from London after one holiday, there was a cocker spaniel/poodle cross. It was so incredibly cute- DD thought it looked like a stuffed teddy. It was very well trained and very calm (I know many are bouncy!). DD watched it from a distance and eventually asked if she could pet it which led to a good hour of the dog gently sitting at her feet.

We did then get a puppy- one that was pretty much identical to the dog on the train- and now she is absolutely dog mad.

She was 9 at the time. I do think that she needed to meet the “right” dog, and the right dog for her was one that looked like a stuffed teddy. I’d second the suggestion of accompanying someone walking a calm dog. If you have any fields or similar near you with dog walkers, you could always ask about if there’s anyone with a breed that your DD might find less intimidating. I’m always happy to stop for children whose parents are trying to introduce them to dogs responsibly!

rippleeffects that's interesting because she's not good at reading situations and facial emotions. She's always asking me if I'm ok.

Thank you all, I appreciate all of the advice.

Get a referral to CAMHS. They deal with specific phobia all the time.

wickedgooddoge also interesting. She has been in the same room as a bischons, a pat dog. Her great auntie is a therapist and has 2. Sadly auntie is elderly now and unwell and lives a long way away.

sexnotjenga hadn't thought of cahms I have to say. Pretty useless around here but worth a call.

Sadly the days of camhs dealing with specific phobia are generally long gone. It sounds like a proper graded exposure would be worth a try if she can tolerate pictures and moving images of dogs. You would need a willing owner of a very calm and well trained dog. Might be worth googling any dog phobia practitioners in your area? It would probably start with her being a large space like a park with dog on a lead in the distance and move on from there. Each stage has to be done until the anxiety is manageable before increasing the exposure. There are likely books on it; I think mind over mood covers phobias, by Paul stallard.

I had dog phobia as a child but had to get over it when I fell in love with horses!

The desensitisation we used was walking on the opposite pavement to a dog on a lead. Talking about what the dog was doing etc. A lot of explaining about why the dog was sniffing/looking/tail wagging so teaching her about dog body language.

Eventually we had an assistant dog in our house that was very very calm. Obviously there was a lot of exposure from the first to the 2nd.