Children with a small age gap

[breakthenews]

Recently found out I'm pregnant. Not keen on another DC, never was. But would've considered it in 4 years or so for DH.

DC1 is just over 1.

Anyone have a good experience of a similar age gap?

Not sure if to terminate or not. Currently thinking to just get rid asap.

Hoping someone can help me come to my own decision

I have 18 months between my two. I found out on dds first birthday that I was pregnant with rd.
Pros:
They're very close, do a lot of same hobbies, have same friends because similar age.
They're kind of bringing each other up, I don't actually need to hav that much input, they entertain each other.
Clothes are easily passed down.
Dd taught ds to read etc (playing school) and can help with school work if needed as she only did it the year before,

Cons:
First 12 months was hard, 2 babies, 2 in nappies. Double buggy.

I hadn't planned on having them so close together but in retrospect I'm glad I did.
They're 9 and 10 now.
Hope you are able to make a decision that's right for you.

There are about 17 months between my two, so slightly smaller gap than you will have. I was not excited to learn I was pregnant but we were married and could afford it so termination didn't cross my mind. I was not keen at all though.

My second child is an absolute nightmare, even worse than my first, who was also a colicky mess. She's 8 months now and I'm still really struggling as I can't leave the house with both of them alone and I just feel trapped. I often wonder if I struggle so much because I was never 100% committed to having a second. I feel guilty pretty much every day because of it.

Only you can make the decision though. I imagine my case is quite unique.

I’ve got 22 months between mine which is similar to what you will have by the sounds of it.

We weren’t sure of a 2nd either, but couldn’t go through with a termination. Pregnancy was tough with sickness, spd and a late walker. Ds2 is now 16 months and it’s just getting easier, our first year has been horrendous but that’s because of PND, baby being seriously ill leaving me with health anxiety and PTSD. But we’re just coming out the other side and the bond they have is amazing. I can see it getting easier from here even though ds2 is not as good a sleeper still as ds1. I wouldn’t change it.

A lot is down to luck I think of temperament of child/sleeping, how much support and money you have etc

I found out I was pregnant when my first was 15 months-they have two years gap between them but after the first year it was easy for me. They are 12 and 14 now and get on so well-and the second one did things so much faster than the first because she saw him doing it,and she did it too. I am very happy with the age gap we have, and the kids get on well

19 months gap for with mine. First couple of years were hard - double buggy and nappies etc. But now at 4 and 5 it’s great, over lapping toys, interests and friends wouldn’t change it for the world.

Mine are just under 18 months apart - I first felt DC2 kick on DC1's first birthday.

Personally I didn't want to go back to the baby stage once clear of it, so for us we were pleased (we were TTC but it was still 'what have we done' for the first 24 hours after the positive test).

It certainly doesn't feel any harder than any other age gap I've seen, they all have pros and cons. There was no jealousy, they played together and really have grown up together. We got through nappies and bottles etc pretty quickly and out the other side. Similar ages and capabilities makes days out easy.

I found going from 0-1 child incredibly hard work, but 1-2 pretty straight forward. I knew that 'this too shall pass' is actually true!

I found the small age gaps 14 then 23 months far far far better than the 5 year gap I had between the first 2!

They are similar stages for playground, toys, friends, activities, pass the clothes straight on or git rid.

17 months between my first two and it was great.

You'll be fine - enjoy it!

Less than 2 years between my two and I’m really glad I had them close together. They’re best friends and have a lot of shared interests. X

My DS is 5 1/2 Months and I am 12 weeks pregnant. I planned it although didn't expect to get pregnant so quick.

I have since split up with partner so that's changed he's things too, however I am absolutely delighted. I know it will be hard work at first but I think as they get older things will get a lot easier. I can't wait for my wee bundle to arrive.

Good luck to you whatever you decide x

16 months between dc3 and 4. They keep each other entertained and you get through the toddler stage in one go.

18 months between my two. I found certain aspects difficult at first but things became much better once they started napping together and I got 2hrs down time every day. And I used that down time to do things I wanted (not clean and batch cook). That was lovely.

I don't regret it at all. They are now nearly 4 and 2.5 and although they squabble they also play together and have similar interests. They stick up for one another. It's great.

15 months was my smallest gap and I ended up having 3 under the age of 3 for 3 months! Crazy times, but I loved it! Went on to have another 2 DC and have less than 6 years between the eldest and the youngest (5DC)

I loved them being so close in age. It made entertaining them at any age really easy as they were all interested in doing the same sort of things, rather than trying to keep a toddler happy on a day out with an older child.

Worst time was when they were teenagers together. 4 girls 1 boy..... hormone city was a nightmare!!!

23 months difference.

End stage of pregnancy was hard with having to entertain a toddler but i let him watch more tv than normal that helped.

If you can potty train the first before you give birth that will be a good help.

Were now 3 and 5 and boy is it so much easier. You just need to get past that 1st year which will be tough but we chose to have them close because we felt if we waited until our first was at school it would of been a big shock to go back to naps, nappies, bottles and weaning etc.

They play together now and entertain each other and have a fab bond.

22 months and 23 months between my 3, it was very hard having 3 under 4 but it’s easier now they are older.
It’s easier to entertain them as they’re into much the same things, they are all at school together and have mutual friends.
I’m not looking forward to 3 teenagers though!

22 months between mine. I'm glad I had them so close together. They're very close now at 17 and almost 19 and it minimizes the time you're changing nappies.

We were glad to have the second but that was it.

Mine are 19 months apart. It’s a lovely age gap now that they’re 13 and 14. They have an amazing bond and get on brilliantly (even though DD likes to claim she’d prefer a sister - she really wouldn’t).

But dear god the first couple of years were hard!

I didn't want to really have more, my first was so horrific. But foravariety of reasons I did, and best decision ever. The first two are 16 months apart, 2nd and 3rd are 1yr 5 months. They've learned so much from each other and are, honestly, their own best friends. I wouldn't have it any other way...though it killed me slightly, difficulty-wise.

15 months between my two boys. They were such fun, good friends, playmates, never lonely and often mistaken for twins. Nursery was extortionate, as was activities trying to keep them occupied. Now that they're teenagers things are still expensive

I’ve 18 months between me and my younger sister, she was an easy baby. I was a twat.
Our interests and personalities were totally different.
We get on well now but it was a fucking nightmare when we were little and so similar in age and therefore not one of us being old enough to pack off to an activity on the train etc.

Aspects of it were hard but we (me too!) had combined nap times in the afternoon which made a huge difference. You wouldn’t get that with an older child.
We also had many wonderful days out before DC1 started school, which they could both enjoy and they’d play together.
Now they have the same interests and capabilities which is easy in lots of ways but also leads to some jealousy.
I also have a more traditional gap with DC3 which was a doddle in comparison.
It does mean the two very close in age can do/ watch/ play things together that the little one is never just quite big enough for.

Oh and not having to do school or short day nursery runs with a newborn/ toddler is a huge plus in my opinion. That was an utter PITA with DC3

17 months between mine. I've raised them entirely on my own since the youngest was 11 months. I also had a large breed dog that needed 2 good walks a day. Honestly it is fine! You just get on with it.
You will be fine if you continue with the pregnancy.

I have an 18-month gap between my two, currently aged 8 and 10.

Pregnancy was hard. Morning sickness and tiredness are very tough when you have already have a baby to look after.

Fortunately I had a really easy birth and left hospital with so much more energy than I went in with. Baby #2 slotted straight into our schedule and pretty much got carted about like an extra changing bag. I found it much easier than the transition from 0 babies to 1 baby.

The next 18 months were best described as constantly busy. Not hard, but you never really stop. Then things got easier. By the time the youngest was 3 I was fairly sure it was easier than 1 child as they help each other out and keep each other so well entertained.

They adore each other and are so close. They rarely ever argue and I’m just so very thankful to have them both.

I wish you well in whatever route you take.

Not keen on another DC, never was. But would've considered it in 4 years or so for DH.

Sorry but you really don't sound like you want another DC. Is he badgering you about this? It's your body, it's all good and easy for him to want DC/another DC but it's not his body that has to go through bring pregnant, the birth and effects on your body long term afterwards, the affect on your career and mental health. Plus you only have to read the many threads on here of supposed devoted DH/dads who will happily swan off into the sunset without a backwards glance and the OP is left holding the baby.

Have a baby if you want a baby but not to keep someone else happy (for now)