Complete turnaround needed. Anyone fancy helping my life?

[Ineedtonamechangenow]

In four years - one house ourchase, one wedding, three pregnancies, two children, one still breastfeeding, one business failure, one new job for DH he's now finished.

I'm tired. I'm spotty. I'm overweight. We have no money. My clothes feel awful. My youngest doesn't sleep we're working on it

I have the boys for the day, work evenings. DH is a ft student and works pt. We are 20k in debt.

My skin is tired. My hair is too long and flat and just a bit lank. My clothes are either tight or scruffy or both.
We have solutions to the debt. 8k will be gone by the end of the month but we have £50 to last is 2 weeks. I'm not hugely worried financially but it's relevant as I can't just throw money at things.

Someone help me work out where to start

I would write a list of problems and then mini steps towards solutions.

Have you contacted stepchange for the debt? Then use the money saving

... expert for how to maximum money for everything else eg change energy supplier and all that stuff.

How old is the youngest? I’m guessing still quite little.

You have to hold on to this being short term

Debt - will be paid off
Child will sleep
Weight can be lost

Everything is short term and changeable

One small step at a time

Personally I find the quickest way to feel good about myself is to exercise. There’s a free couch to 5k app and it’s only 30mins out of your day so I find it easy to fit around work etc. I also like Pilates, lots of free videos online although it’s good to go to a class to check you’re getting it right. This year I also started making more regular appts at the hairdresser so my hair doesn’t get to the too-long with split ends stage.

Exercise and diet is probably the answer. I'm just so tired though. I am sleep training as far as I'm happy to and he will improve,.of that I'm sure.

I guess I just want to feel better about myself. Debt is currently crazy but manageable. I guess it's me that needs overhauling rather than our money.

A hair cut sounds great. I might get my neighbour to do a trim and then save a bit each week towards some colour.

My skin is just disgusting but I'm relying on carbs to keep me awake.

I guess I'm after small but manageable steps towards sorting myself. I think weightloss is probably fine but two stone feels massive

Anyone have any skin or hair or clothes tips?

Yes ask for a trim
Look at home dies - quite easy

Dyes even

Superdrug do some good and very well-priced skincare.

Check your local college out for hair, many have a student salon where you can get a cut much cheaper than a standard hairdressers. Around £10. Do you need it coloured? I gave up dying mine which has improved the condition. Have also found washing twice a week with baby shampoo seems to leave my poker straight, lank, fine hair softer and shinier than fancy stuff.

Do you currently have a skin care routine? Personally I find cheap works better for me, soak a face cloth in warm water and give face a good scrub twice a day. Little bit of Nivea (Poundland sell small tubs) in the morning. Few porridge oats to make an exfoliating scrub once or twice a week.

I lost 5st last year so it is doable, weigh in once a week at home or at the chemist (50p) and use apps/FB pages to motivate you. Much cheaper than going to group every week! My skin has improved massively since I limited the crap I ate/drank so you may find this impacts here too.

As for clothing, could you do a charity shop mooch? This is what I did whilst I was losing weight or maybe Primark for cheap basics? Short-term even try for one thing a week if needs be, you don't need much I generally had 2 pairs of jeans and 5 tops for day to day use and added in/replaced as I continue of afford it but having stuff that fitted made a huge difference to my self-confidence!

Drink more water. Wrap you and the children up and go for a good walk, or if dry the park. As others have said charity shops for cheap clothes and a local college for hair cuts.
Look on Facebook as sometimes they advertise for models for the students. They also do manicures, pedicures and facials.

For skin try drinking more water, eating more fruit and veg, multivitamins, wash face with proper soap, aldi moistures are good and salt and oil scrub to exfoliate once a week. Get outside in daylight too.

Sleep issue - I would cosleep. Anything were you all get sleep is good.

Do look at contacting step change.

Weight loss is mostly about food rather than diet but that is so tricky when your tired.

That should say weight loss is about food rather than exercise.

When does your H finish his course? Can you try and park the debt on as little interest as possible until he goes back to full time work and is earning more? We’ve just become debt free and have paid off around £12k in about 18 months but we had quite a bit of spare cash to throw at it.

I basically only allowed us a certain amount each for food and petrol, days out, clothes etc. I didn’t push the figure too low but it was low enough that we would be left with nothing at the end of the month. Anything left after this would be thrown at the debt. We did get a little inheritance to pay off the last 1.5k but I feel really proud we paid off most of it while paying nursery fees/me working part time.
Sell as much as you can through Facebook so you aren’t paying fees.

The skincare, I have terrible skin as well. I feel like unless I wear makeup I look horrendous as I have spots. I’ve just gone back on the lucette pill which should hopefully improve my skin as it has in the past. Other than that I treated myself to some skincare recently from the Body Shop and Origins and it does really make a difference. The Body Shop is really cheap in the sales at the moment. Try the Drops of Youth peel.

I still get most of my clothes at Supermarkets and Primark. Try to cut the weekly food shop in other ways so you can get an item every few weeks. Leggings are £4 from Morrison’s for instance and I’m wearing a very comfy (although admittedly not that stylish) hoodie from Primark for £8.

Good luck, you’ll get there!

Multivitamins, I can definitely do that.
I'm pretty active with the boys although they're currently on opposite naps. 11 month old sleeps morning and afternoon and 23 month old sleeps lunch time. It'll be short lived though.

Baby is currently more unsettled when cosleeping these days. I exclusively coslept until about nine months and he's settling well in his cot and just climbs all over me when cosleeping now.

I wonder if I can sort a skin care routine. I get lazy with that.

Also my neighbour is happy cutting my hair for £20 which isn't bad.. I'll message her now

Think a day at a time. Easier said than done.

@Turquoisetamborine thank you for your lengthy reply. We cross posted.

He's in year one out of five. We aren't prepared to delay his studies though as life goes by too quickly and he earns really little anyway so full time makes no real difference - we get the maintenance loan which makes up for about 2/3 of his income anyway. We should be £350 better off by the end of the month as we've managed to stay away from using the maintenance loan so far and will pay off a chunk of debt when the next installment comes in.

I read a thread on the style and beauty section about Caroline hirons for a skin regime.
I couldn't afford the things she recommended but I did get equivalents from a 3 for a fiver bundle offer in Tescos. Nivea white pot is my favourite moisturiser now.
It really has made a difference to my skin.
And couch to 5k is brilliant. My £10 Primark trainers lasted a year with me doing it 3 times a week. Then I got asics from a discount store for £40.

Instead of thinking of dieting, think of eating more fruit and veg. Make soups and snack on fruit. Drink more water.

Get your hair cut and buy a decent conditioner when you can afford it. Do you blow dry your hair? That can help to give it volume otherwise do a half pony tail on top of your head while your hair dries to give it some volume.

Try cutting out dairy to see if it helps your skin. A lot of people (including me) think it helps.

I feel very virtuous this morning. Started my day with a glass of water. I also washed my face before bed I think I might have to start small and build up so that's it for this week. I'll start every day with some water and finish every day with a face wash. Next week I'll add something new.

@IJustLostTheGame what's the skin regime?