Feeling lonely

[MuddledUpAgain]

Sat here at new year feeling like I don't have any friends. Went off to uni, but I went a pretty big distance away to challenge myself, whilst school friends all stayed more local and went to the same unis as each other. I tried to stay in touch but it felt very one sided and has just fizzled out. I've still been trying and making an effort, but it's becoming increasingly common that I'm ignored. I feel hurt and left out as even when I am back, and suggest meeting up, nothing comes of it.

I haven't moved back to where I grew up (considering it, but with jobs, house etc it's a big thing to consider). I know people here who I socialise with but don't feel like they are proper friends so to speak. Two of my closest friends from uni have moved abroad and contact is intermittent due to time differences and the other lives a few hours away. I guess I just feel lonely.

Moving back to where I grew up is tempting, but feel as though I'll be starting again on the friends thing, as I don't think the ones I grew up with would make any effort even if I was living closer to them.

Not sure what I want to achieve with this post, just wanted to get it off my chest.

Hi Muddled,
That does sound lonely 😥...the loneliness is always more poignant at times like this. Everyone seems to have somewhere to go and people to be with. If it's any consolation, I'll be home with my kids who're very young and the only socialising I'll be doing is via Facebook. Although that being said, I've wished everyone a Happy New Year and come off now because it can make you feel worse🙄
I was similar to you went to uni a long way away and had great friendships whilst there...only a couple I've maintained and it's hard. When I moved back home, I had some good friendships on my own but they didn't last. The rest of my friends are mutual with husband who broke up with me on Boxing day (but we hadn't really been together anyway). I do have two other friends but like you don't feel so close to them as I should do. I usually watch a really good series or read a good book
In the day getting out and about is always good.
But if you have to make the effort with people sometimes it's too much, friendships should be easy, fun and mutual otherwise you just feel drained 😥

Thank you for replying. I agree that friendships should be more mutual than they are so I'm going to take a step back and see what happens.

I think NYE did make things seem worse than they actually were.

I hope things get better for you as well.