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Original poster

Please, please can someone hear me.

23 replies

StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:21

I can't do it any more. I live with my partner who has long term anxiety and it's got to the point where I can't bear him.
He rants. parrots /mimics everything I say. says awful things about people. Doesn't wash or change clothes unless prompted. hates socialising. Won't allow me to discuss this situation with anyone, yet the amount of support I've given him over the years is massive. He hides this from everyone too so his friends and family don't know there's anything going on.
I'm desperate.

He never used to be as bad as this, but I was sat watching a programme last night with dame judy dench on - the one about trees, and was struck by just how normal and pleasantly everyone interacted with each other.

I can't talk. Am just sat here crying. He tried to hug me and I told him to not touch me. I don't want him near me.
I've had enough.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 30/12/2018 13:23

Leave! Just do it.
Life is short and has been gifted to you. Please try and make the most out of it Flowers

ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/12/2018 13:24

I can hear you.
It sounds intolerable. Please leave and start living your life how you want.

Charley50 · 30/12/2018 13:25

Ugh just leave. He's abusive.

MisstoMrs · 30/12/2018 13:25

We hear you. Go and have some space and perspective. What you’re describing is no way to live.

Charley50 · 30/12/2018 13:26

Or tell him to leave. Make a plan / good time to do it. Get police involved if necessary.

Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:26

lulu, I want to leave so badly. I have no money due to working very little thanks to a chronic health thing.
I dreaam of living on my own again. I just want peace like I used to have.

OP posts:
Grobagsforever · 30/12/2018 13:27

Is there a relative you could stay with? Pls leave. Life is so short.

Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:28

thank you all so, so much for your words. I want to howl .am sat here feeling my heart hammering

OP posts:
Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:29

no, no relatives, am totally on my own

OP posts:
Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:30

I used to be so strong, but this wears you down like a drip of the tap.

OP posts:
Lovemysofa · 30/12/2018 13:32

Please leave-it probably feels insurmountable right now but there must be a way. You are worth so, so much more than this. Keep posting on here for support and strength. Good luck xx

Juells · 30/12/2018 13:32

You only have one life, is this how you want to spend it? Your situation sounds absolutely miserable, no wonder you're at the end of your tether.

Hidingtonothing · 30/12/2018 13:33

What's your housing situation OP, whose name is on the tenancy? Does he have family he could go to? Not that I'm saying he would go willingly, just trying to see what your options might be Flowers

Lovemysofa · 30/12/2018 13:34

Is there any way he will leave the home? Are there any friends that you could stay with? You really can't stay in this situation-it is no way to live.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/12/2018 13:36

Make your dream a reality!
Can you go for a walk? If you can, go for a walk and think how you can move forward.
When you think in motion, your thinking tends to be in motion too - more forward looking, planning changes.
It’s a different type of thinking to when you’re seated or curled up on the bed. Those thoughts can be more ‘stagnant’ and still. Focussing only what is now.
Does that make any sense?

Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:38

You are so lovely giving your time to me, it's making me cry again. It's his house. Has kept promising to put me on the deeds but hasn't happened . I don't want to stay here anyway.

I want to be with normal, friendly, kind people.

OP posts:
Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 13:40

Ilive I'm in no fit state to put my foot out of the door at the moment. But I agree with you.

Whenever I try to tslk to him about his behaviour he gets ranty then goes to bed. shuts me out. then wnen he wakes up he behaves as though it never happened.

Is this stonewalling?

OP posts:
Lovemysofa · 30/12/2018 14:01

He is abusive and is messing with your head. Would you be able to afford a room in a house share, even if just in the short-term?

JenFromTheGlen · 30/12/2018 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

subspace · 30/12/2018 14:10

He's definitely being abusive, and mental health issues may (or may not) explain that but they don't excuse it.

You'll find a way. Start looking for it. Maybe you can rent a room in a shared house.

ButteryParsnips · 30/12/2018 14:16

I hear you too OP. You're a worthwhile and valuable person. Flowers

Ring either Women's Aid or Shelter and explain your situation. They can help.

Original poster
StEdmundsPippins · 30/12/2018 14:46

He's just come back in after going out to buy me a 'treat'. well I don't want it and told him so. he's now in the garage. Sulking probably. I don't know and am past caring.

I always thought that this is the way it is with anxiety, but to be honest I'm beginning to feel anxious too. But I don't rant at and mock others. This is no right is it.

I need to leave. I WILL leave but it's going to take time. I can't keep living my life like this. to think I gave up my independance fo this.

OP posts:
ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/12/2018 14:53

You sound stronger already

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