Is anyone else/has been a teenage mum?

[Rolyrosy]

I’m a young mum to a 6 month old DD. She is everything to me, I love being a mum but I’m struggling to feel like “me”. I’ve never been a big party animal or drinker but I do miss going out and acting like a teenager, most of my friends are away at university and I can feel so isolated sometimes. At all the local playgroups the mums are older than me and it’s very cliquey. Even down to my appearance, I’ve always worn minimal makeup but straightened my hair everyday, wore nice clothes and jewellery etc. These days I have no time for it and I feel frumpy and uncomfortable within my body. My goals for 2019 are to re start slimming world, get out and about more and work on getting ‘me’ back. Has anyone else been in a similar position? Or is?

I had my first at 29 so quite a bit older but just wanted to reassure you that most new mums feels exactly how you are describing. I certainly did. Do you have much support?

I’m not teenage but not many of my friends have babies or children. I’m the first to have children in my close friendship group so I feel some of your isolation. Mines only a month old but last few months of pregnancy I felt it, missed out on all the big nights. I’m big party girl, but had thought I’d got it all out my system being 30! But I was wrong think it’s just me, but I don’t regret my decision at all. I’m single too which brings its own challenges.

I had my DS1 at 17. I felt very isolated at baby/toddler groups, no one really wanted to talk to me. Are there any young parents groups near you? I tried to distance myself from the fact that I was a teenage mum and rented a house in a well to do area and attended groups there, but I think I ended up making things much harder and isolating than they needed to be.

I wanted my ds to have the middle class childhood that I had, but it meant there wasn't really sufficient support systems for either of us (we muddled through though). It was only when DS went to 6th form in an inner city school that I realised how much more support and pastoral care there was for him, which was great for him.

Hi 👋 I was 18 when I had my first and I totally get feeling like the odd one out at baby groups, keep with it tho and you will find “your people” friends can be friends whatever the age. I also found a bit of snobbery against me because I was younger, but you rise above it and show the world what a wonderful mum you are.

Sorry, I didn't get to the point! What I was trying to say was ask your health visitor if there are any young parents groups and take advantage of any additional help that's offered to you. Hold your head up high, you're doing a very important job.

I had dd at 17. Lost all my friends as we had zero in common. Didn't really go to baby groups, took her swimming and soft play, enjoyed being at home tbh! Maybe join Mush which is an app where you can find similar people near you to befriend. Def not a dating app!!

Ahh glad to know I’m not alone! Some of the looks I got when I told the other mums I was 19 and single! I felt so out of place as most had just got married or had more in common to talk about. Thanks for the suggestions, I’ll have a look at mush. X