Feeling almost suicidal depressed before DD

[Loveworlds1]

I have always wanted a family and kids and it has happened all so quick in less then a year I'm due in 2 weeks have a house with my partner what a perfect start.

However I'm 26 everything's happened so quick I've had to move out of my mum and dad's and away from brother and I miss them dearly I want to be with them and it makes me feel selfish when I feel like this.

My dad is getting on he is 86 and I feel like I've lost a part of my life. I was never round much as a teenager got into wrong crowd etc and I moved back to my parents when I was 24 but I was fully independent from 18. I feel like I have missed so much time with them and I guess I feel guilty I want ready to move in with a new life with my partner and a child on the way.

I was feeling hopeless today really depressed almost suicidal and my brother really helped me over text I then felt stupid guilty selfish for feeling this way and couldn't stop crying. I couldn't tell my partner or friends as I don't think they would understand. Don't know whether this is all part of hormones in pregnancy but it really scared me I was feeling this way.

I just feel like I've lost my old life with my family when Ive had to grow up. It's a horrible feeling I wish I was a young girl again just so I could be little again and spend time with my family i miss them. Please dont judge. I know I'm luck to be having a child I've just been feeling like I have unfinished business or mending to do elsewhere. I want to start over again and spend as much time with my parents and brother.

It is the hormones

I had prenatal depression when I was pregnant with my first DD. It’s absolutely terrifying and the sense of loss is so real....

However remember this, you are not and will not lose anything. You are gaining a fantastic member of your family that will no doubt bring yourself and your already close family members together further.
You are well equipped from your own life to know how you will and won’t care for your child and they will love you unconditionally for this.

Try not to worry too much about what’s been or what’s to come. Concentrate on what you have.
You have a lovely partner.
You have a home.
You have the support of your parents and your brother. (Just because you’re not living with them doesn’t mean it stops)
You will have the unconditional love of a child.

I also found having clear goals and a motivational playlist for during labour and before really helped.
You will be ok, just remember it’s the hormones overthinking everything and they do clear off eventually.

massive hugs YOU GOT THIS.