My 3.5 year old has not slept through the night for over 2 months, can anyone please help?

[divafever99]

dd (3.5) has suddenly stopped sleeping through the night approximately 2 months ago. She will settle to bed around 7:30pm as normal but will then wake crying at around 10pm. She will then wake several times, up until around 3am. It can range form a whingy cry (she doesn't even appear to be fully awake at times) to full on screaming and shouting. This can be intermittent or go on for hours on end. I am at my wits end. Dh and I both work and it is beginning to effect our ability to work. We have another dd (8) who is frequently disturbed by her. We have tried everything we can think of to try and settle her, new nightlight, new pillow but nothing has helped. There have been no changes to her routine at nursery or home, or significant events. She is generally fit and well apart from having asthma, which is currently well controlled and has been on the same medication for several months. I want to speak with my health visitor but dh thinks this is just a "phase" and I am over reacting. It is however now impacting on all of us and her behaviour during the day hasn't been good recently, mainly due to her being so tired and grumpy. I'm worried I am missing something? Is this just a phase or should I seek some professional advice? She has already woken up 7 times tonight. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

No advice just sympathy! My 3.5 year old has NEVER slept through but recently we’re seeing similar disturbances as you - appearing to wake distressed and confused, crying for mama when I’m right there with her, sleep talking and mumbling but restless and unable to settle.

Even though she’s never slept through, her wake ups before were easily solved so these are a new thing.

Maybe it’s a developmental thing? My son (6) was always a very heavy sleeper and my DD is much more restless generally so perhaps lighter sleepers are disturbed by whatever they’re processing in their little brains?

Thanks for your reply. My eldest slept through from around 18 months and sleeps really well. Dd 2 has always been a light sleeper so we are used to creeping around, so maybe you are right in the fact they are disturbed with what they are processing more. It's worse than when she was a newborn, at least then a feed would settle her for a few hours! She was awake at 6:30 this morning after another very disturbed night. Luckily I managed to get her back for another hour, but on a work day we all need to get up at this time!

Could the being confused and crying/screaming early on be night terrors? My DD has never been a great sleeper but when she is really really tired she gets night terrors and they are almost exactly as you are describing.
Sounds silly but is she needing a pee? DD will sometimes say she doesn't need a pee then toss and turn awake for ages before she gives in and goes

Could growing pains be a factor? I don't know if she might be a bit young but my son had them and they really disrupt sleep.

Yes we had perhaps wondered about night terrors- I will have a read up on it. Growing pains are a possibility she has had a bit of a growth spurt recently. She still wears nappies at night, sometimes she is dry but most of the time she is quite wet in the morning.

Not a popular opinion I’m sure but could you bring her in with you? I tried everything when my eldest was this age to get her to sleep through, sleep consultants, the works. Sleeping with me was the only thing that worked. I was heavily pregnant so we used to sleep on a mattress in her room together and both got sleep. I would join her when she first woke about 12. She settled into a good routine and slept as normal once the baby was born.

I think you should consult a doctor on a just in case basis. I totally don't wish to be alarmist, but my friend's dd was presenting similarly at that age and was diagnosed with a brain tumour (it would have been headaches making her so grouchy). Just go and say it seems out of character, you can't settle her, and could there be anything you are missing (earache, tooth pain, indigestion, could also have the same effect).

Is she definitely warm enough?

I sympathise. Mine is about to turn four and has started waking up about 11 every night. She is then awake until like 3am. Wide awake. Chatting. Laughing. But I’m not allowed to leave her bed. It’s awful. It’s like once she wakes up she just can’t get back to sleep.

Thanks again for your replies. I have on occasions slept in her bed with her but it seems to make little difference, she continues to be restless and distressed. I have thought about the temperature and actually turned the heating in her room down as she starts off in pyjamas but usually takes her top off as complains she is too hot. She is due to have her immunisations so might see if I can get a GP appointment at the same time just to rule anything untoward out.

The problem with my DD is so similar to yours. She goes to sleep fine but can wake at any point before I go to bed at 10.30. To be honest it’s easier to manage when it’s the middle of the night because I just get her straight into our bed. It’s the evening wake ups where she’s the most confused and distressed.

Sounds exactly like my DS2. It turned out to be persistant growing pains in his lower legs combined with night terrors. He has only just started sleeping through in the last 6 months or so (he is 6).

Same with our 3.5 year old.
He’s actually been sleeping in our bed until the last week but we are having to put him in his own room as I am 32 weeks pregnant. It’s hard isn’t it? Not sure what I’m gonna do when baby arrives

It's good to know I'm not alone, I sympathise with you all it's such hard work!