Help!!!!!

[Z1991]

I'm 27 and I have two children from my previous relationship of 7 years.. I'm with a new partner now and we have been together 20 months... He's 33 and doesn't have any children and has always wanted them.. When we talked about it the idea of having a child together seemed so nice that we decided trying a few months later here I am 5 weeks pregnant... When I found out I freaked out massively.. Started worrying about things I should have thought about in the first place.. I work Monday to Friday 9-3 while my daughters are at school and I don't want to give up work but childcare for 3 is going to be impossible in summer holidays ect. I'm worrying about money and financially I manage on my own but with another baby what if I csnt do it. I don't want to end up a single parent to 3 children. I only have a 2 bedroom house so space will be a struggle. All my family and family will massively dissaprove.. So when I found out I said I was going to have a termination. We had an argument He was really angry saying that I should have thought of all this before trying for a baby (and I know he is right)) and that if I have a termination it will be the end of us as he feels like I lied about wanting a baby with him. Now I've said I'm keeping it but I'm scared I'm making a massive mistake and I just don't know what to do. Any advice please 😔I know that this is all my Own fault but I'm so unsure of what to do

I can see why your partner is angry. Surely you had a plan for the house etc before trying? Money and childcare Tends to work itself out and is as much his problem as yours. Your family's disapproval is their problem not yours. Ignore that. I think you need to apologise to your partner, he must have been devastated. Then make some plans together.

Its ultimately your decision.

You haven't been together very long though...why did you decide to try for a baby? Do you live together?

Do you and your DP live together? Is he contributing to the family?

I know i should have thought about things a bit more in depth but I just loved the idea of us having a child together. But the idea and reality of it all is so different(I do know I've been stupid).. Although we've only been together just under 2 years we were close friends for a year and a half prior to that so we do know each other pretty well. He isn't living with me but does spend quite a bit of time here, he doesn't help financially towards bills as such but does pay for bits.. shopping sometimes, help paid £500 to get my car fixed, bought me a washing machine when mine broke.. And paid for a disney holiday for me him and my two children.. So financially I know he will provide.

I think he's being very unreasonable. Ok, you decided, in haste perhaps, to try for a baby. However, he doesn't seem to be offering you any commitment. He's not living with you and you're not married. If you keep the baby and your relationship fails, he will have all the benefits of being a dad whereas you'll be stuck juggling childcare and work and being a single mum to three children. Ok, he'll have to pay maintenance but you'll be doing the day to day grind of bringing them up

If I was you, no way would I be going through with the pregnancy.

I think you'd be reasonable to presume that you're going to be a single Mum.

If he wants you to keep the baby, he needs to start showing some long term commitment to you. Find a home that meets your family needs, commit to you by marriage (if that's what you want), share bills, talk sensibly about mat leave, childcare etc.

You made your bed and you need to lie in it I'm afraid. You thought it would be 'nice' to have a child with a new partner, despite already having two from a 'previous relationship.' Your partner is not being unreasonable getting cross when you said you were having a termination. Grow up and face up to your responsibilities and stop breeding indiscriminately.

Can you find some way to get independent counselling on this? I know GPs have long referrals but perhaps there is a pregnancy/termination charity you could speak to?