MILs annual bag of tat has arrived!

[DonaldDucksTowel]

MIL doesn’t have anything to do with our DC, sees the older ones maybe twice a year, she’s never met the youngest
Yet every Christmas (and to a smaller extent Easter too which is a bit random) we receive the biggest gift bags she can get her hands on full of the shittest most unsuitable tat for each child imaginable
All from a market stall (or shoplifters) wrong sizes, wrong ages, personalised things with the wrong names on, roughly 20-25 books each every year, bath bombs for the child with severe eczema, peppa pig toys for a 9 year old...all stinking to high heaven of smoke and air freshener

We’ve told her before not to bother (DP told her directly and through the family members she sends the bags through) and when she ignored this DP has tried to steer her in the direction of more suitable things and tells her every year it’s too much stuff and asks her to get less - and I swear each year the bags are getting bigger
This year my 3 year old could stand up in the bag and we could shut it and not see him, and we had 4 of them, bulging with stuff! (I don’t know where she gets these enormous gift bags I’ve never seen any as big!)

It all goes to the charity shop or in the bin
It’s just such a colossal waste of her time and money
It drives me potty 😤
Rant over

My MIL and all of her neighbours buy at the door from shoplifters. I won't use anything they give as I don't trust it, I always leave it at the charity shop when it's shut and hope it doesn't get traced back to me! So yes, it happens! And these people also think it's acceptable to give stolen goods to others!!

Binning her son (for cheating), put paid to the annual nonsense right away - not so much as a card this year....

Oh this one is familiar!!! Hadn't a clue about any of the kids really. Right down to the stink of fags and dog... urgh.

Bah humbug

Photo of the tat or it’s all a fantasy.
I think it’s as real as Santa, prove me wrong.

My MIL and all of her neighbours buy at the door from shoplifters.

Good God. I sometimes think I must live in a parallel universe.

Peabod If you and your DP know that she does this, rather than dump the gifts on charity shops why not just tell her straight to stop it? If she's not well off enough to go gift shopping the normal way I'd rather she just kept her money and got me nothing than perpetuated that sort of nonsense, probably keeping someone in a nice heroin habit as well while she's at it.

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin It's a whole other world. DP has no issue with it, it was the norm for him growing up. MIL can afford to by whatever she wants, and is currently in trouble for claiming benefits when her savings were more than double the threshold. Drugs are normal around there too. Her next door neighbour's son deals. Her eldest died at the age of 14 huffing butane gas, her middle child is addicted to amphetamines. Her youngest is DP. I'd not met the family before I fell pregnant with DS. I try not to dwell on would have happened if I'd met them sooner, as I likely wouldn't have DC.
If MIL listened to my requests, I wouldn't have been lumbered with these monstrosities! I avoid her where I can, and do my best to limit the influence she has on my DC because I don't have the balls to go NC.

It sounds like she collects stuff all year as 'good deals' and then gets pleasure from passing them on and doesn't realise you won't feel the same. 'One mans trash is another mans treasure'
If it brings her joy then I'd teach the children to graciously thank her then charity shop it.

How depressing Peapod

I'd have an issue with my DP not having an issue, to be honest.

I do KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin We've had more MIL related rows than everything else we disagree on put together. I'm slowly cutting them out one family member at a time. Don't think I'll ever be brave enough to cut her out though. She lives on cuppa soup, vodka and cigarettes so she won't go on forever...

All next items are unique so if it's stolen it does flag up. Your details are only remembered if it was bought on an account there and it's being returned to your directory account. They scan the receipt for ease and to follow company procedures but they can bypass that if needed as the item will remember if it was purchased and how. I used to work there in the office, it's a very clever system!

We have a family member that does the same thing, usually just clothes that are several years too big, it's always interesting seeing what's going to turn up tho!

I had the same from the estranged friend of my M-I-L's sister. Bags of broken toys, dirty and smelly clothes in the wrong sizes and old, scalped barbies. We barely knew her but she discovered where we lived and would corner us on the street. She is a well-known, local hoarder.

A neighbour had problems with a foul-mouthed distant relative of an old school friend who she was no longer in contact with. She'd receive several full bin bags of damp, fusty children's clothes every so often. We think she took them from charity bags left on the streets for collection and she insisted on giving them. This lady was also a hoarder.

LovingLola Next is compliant with GDPR as far as I can see - it is all set out in their privacy policy on their website. They state what information they keep and why and what for. All legit.

My MIL has done this for years. It’s pure volume, no knowledge of her grandchildren’s likes and needs. It all goes to charity. Her gifts to me are epic in their shitness- I’ve no idea where she gets them or why she thinks they are appropriate. I’d be happy with a pair of slippers. I hate waste and clutter and I hate to have her throwing her money away like this

It's FIL for me. Piles of really shit stuff from the endless flea markets he goes to. His huge garden is completely filled with shit.

It was sad when our oldest was four and used to light up when he saw FIL coming, then the presents were either crap or broke within minutes, literally.

I quietly extract all second-hand slime and hide it until it can be chucked though.

We get piles of shite from MIL every year, it's a running joke. Just taken two big bags straight to the charity shop.
Apart from the very used nail varnish that just got binned.

This year we've completely given up trying to buy her thoughtful and nice gifts, we just give her all the crap that we've won on tombolas throughout the year now instead.
We added some biscuits and chocolates and it was way less hassle, she was very happy with the random painting of some flowers, the Baylis & Harding set and the candle we gave her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

At least she bothers, accept the gift with good grace. A gift is not financial transaction or a contract. Just smile and say thanks even if it doesn't fit into your picture perfect life. The lack of gratitude and sneering is unreal here.

Sorry we went out for the evening, but I can see the Next thing has been explained, I never knew it was possible myself either until I nearly died of embarrassment at the till!

To the PP who asked if it was an extension of hoarding that is very interesting, DP and his sister say you can barely open the door to get in her bedroom as it’s full of stuff, obviously I don’t know this but I’d never really linked it to the bizarre gift giving, you may be on to something there

My favourite thing ever was when DS1 was 7 and she gave him a ... wait for it ... dash cam!!
She hasn’t managed to top that one yet tbh

Ha ha ha this is funny. My mil was like this I have said every year to stop the shit present buying and it only got through to her when dh said we take it all to the charity shop. Now my kids get cash 👍🏻

Wasn't there a MNer who was suffering hoarding by proxy to such an extent that she was getting in trouble with the local council tip because of the number of tip runs she was doing?

My DM does big stockings of stuff she's collected through the year for her 4 children and 10 children - a mixture of new things and bits she sees in charity shops, car boots and WI sales. But I'm happy to say, she's brilliant at it. Stocking opening is a very happy event as she knows us all very well, and its an excellent haul!

My Mil does this to a extent but it's all done with love and from a good place. She has also calmed down as the DGC got older and this year was definately more restrained and thought out.

Next have the most secure and convoluted system. I fell foul of it when I got a new debit card between buying an item and returning it. Took 3 of them to get the system to work that one out and they could only get it to issue a credit note!