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Original poster

What is it like living in a hostel?

14 replies

Rory786 · 29/12/2018 12:38

Hi, my mum has two foster girls aged 20 and 18 who will be leaving her to live in a hostel in 5 weeks time.

Does anyone have any experience in what these hostels for young people are like? We want to prepare them and stay in touch.

OP posts:
girlonatrain19 · 29/12/2018 13:11

Probably awful tbh, it's so sad :/ why can't they stay with her? Has she only had them a short time? Surely if they got jobs they could contribute a little to the house whilst they study? Or go to uni? Then they can have accommodation and get a good degree.

Wishing them all the best!

Original poster
Rory786 · 29/12/2018 13:52

Because they have been violent they cant stay. They are not working, but are retaking gcse's. They both struggle academically. They have applied for jobs, but see certain jobs (such as Tescos) demeaning. They are lovely girls but just not in touch with reality. They live in London and have no drive or grit to improve their situation. I 100% understand how extremely difficult it is for them but I know it is possible to turn things around with help and support.

I want to support them as much as I can, as mum is very frail now. She has been fostering for over 25 years now...
I would like an idea of what it will be like so I can help them prepare for it.

OP posts:
waterplease · 30/12/2018 20:40

@Rory786 Sorry, if I had known they were violent towards your mother I would never have suggested for her to keep them. I'm so sorry for your mum, some girls can be awful.

Maybe some time in a hostel will bring them back to reality..

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Hen2018 · 30/12/2018 20:45

@girlonatrain sadly, fewer than 1% of cars leavers go to Uni.

Hen2018 · 30/12/2018 20:46

Dammit, 6%

Original poster
Rory786 · 30/12/2018 20:48

Thank you waterplease, I know they will have to share a kitchen and bathroom but I am woefully ignorant of the rest.

OP posts:
Akire · 30/12/2018 20:51

Not lived in hostel but lived in plenty of shared houses as an adult, guessing if getting benefits to pay rent only certainly landlord will take them. It’s no fun when you share place with strangers, never know who’s coming or going. If live there or visiting. Shared bathrooms and kitchens which are nasty. Waiting ages to use the loo and bathroom then having to clean it before you can. Communist fridges which always smell and bins people don’t empty. If you are lucky there will be a pay per load machine or it’s off to laudrette.no space to dry clothes.

No privacy with mail ifall comes through the same letter box so lots of stuff goes missing People in and out all times and making noise. That’s just living in shared housing where everyone worked no one with “issues” or addictions.

Newname101 · 30/12/2018 20:52

I lived at the ymca when I was 18. I had my own set of cups/plates etc and a kettle and fridge for my room. Also a microwave. Think of it as the same as uni halls but no fun or structure. I was at sixth form and then worked before going to uni so escaped but you need a tough skin

zzzzz · 30/12/2018 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilmishap · 30/12/2018 20:59

Drink and drugs tend to be rife regardless of hostel rules, theft may be an issue and most operate a zero tolerance approach to (being caught with)drink, drugs and anti social behaviour increasing the likelihood they will be swiftly evicted, this means that if they do manage to get another place it will likely be worse in terms of who else is staying.
Sadly this has been my experience and I've lived in 5 over my lifetime.
There are good and bad hostels but a lot depends on who the other residents are.
Room searches and bag checks take place in some which is difficult even if you are not hiding anything.
It's hard but they will have a choice about how hard they make it on themselves.

WhatWouldChristineCagneyDo · 30/12/2018 21:08

I lived in a YMCA at that age. I was sexually assaulted by another resident and the hostel manager threatened me with eviction if I couldn't 'learn to get along' with my attacker. It was hell.

AmIAWeed · 30/12/2018 21:14

I was in a bedsit followed by a family hostel around 12 years ago. The family hostel was hard, the room was large but one big room for me and 2 kids so when it was bed time for the kids I sat outside the room in the corridor reading. I found it incredibly lonely and isolating.
Realistically though as young adults they'll have no issue with shared kitchen and bathroom, it's not great but like a shared house.
Someone came round at 10pm every night to check we were there. I think I was allowed 1 night per week to stay elsewhere or was deemed not needing the room.

SuzieAndBess · 30/12/2018 21:17

What jobs would they like OP? Could they look at apprenticeships? Are they at college if they are resitting GCSEs?

Original poster
Rory786 · 30/12/2018 21:45

Thank you everyone for your replies, I wanted to get them microwaves and a mini fridge for their rooms.

SuzieAndBess they were offered amazing apprenticeship opportunities but after a few days refused to show up. The mentor was furious...both at college but not killing it at the studies. The younger one is weaker, she got a 1 at GCSE math and refused a math tutor.

It is such a hard one, help is being offered to them from all angles but they don't take it and I worry for them. I don't live in London so I can't be around all the time. I also worry that the benefits they get now will in the future no longer be available.

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