How do you get over losing a friend?

[IrisJoy]

Hi all

I have had a friend since I was about 11 who was my best friend for years.
We lost touch for a couple of years at uni etc but then got back in touch. She lived abroad for quite a while but we were still in regular contact even though our lives had taken very different paths.
Over the last couple of years I noticed that it was always me initiating contact, and she went out with a mutual friend a few times without me being invited (which is fine but we used to always all go out)
I spoke to her about it and she said that I was right and it was wrong she should have spoken to me about it.
I thought we had cleared the air. But after she really let me down last Christmas. I had arranged a day to see her and kept it completely free. It was the only day I had with out my DC and she knew that. She then text me half way through the day to say she was too hungover to meet me.
I then left it again. She did initiate contact to meet me a few months later (when she was around, she now lives in a different part of the country). After I saw her I sent a text telling her how lovely it was to see her and I was honest about that I thought she wasn't interested in keeping in touch and that's why I hadn't initiated any contact.
Since then I haven't heard from her apart from a brief chat whje I sent her a birthday card. She didn't send me a birthday card and hasn't got in touch over Christmas. I know some people are just like that but she never used to be.
I know I need to let this go. But often I think of her and it makes me so sad.
It's not the kind of heart break that you get when splitting up with a boyfriend. But just this dull achy sadness that I am not sure will ever go away. I have had it since I first realised really (about 2 years ago).
Please tell me it goes away with time? Is there anything I can do? I want to look back at our friendship and smile, not be sad.
Thanks

This is what happened to me too except I was never brave enough to point out her lack of effort to her face. I felt so upset - almost like a being dumped by someone you love. I gradually accepted that she had moved on in her life and made other friends so I wasn't important to her anymore I started to focus more on my lovely friends who do make time for me and now I am over her! In fact, last time I did see her I found her pretty boring. I've actually started to dislike her a bit!!

Thank you. I am hoping to get to that stage too. I do have lots of really lovely friends. I am very lucky. But none that I have known as long. She even lived with my family for a while when we were teenagers. We used to say we were like sisters. I think there will always be a place in my life where she was.
I just can't work out whether it's just her not initiating because she's just busy etc. Or whether she has deliberately cut me out. Sadly I can't help thinking it's the latter.
She has a new boyfriend and has moved away etc so I get it. It's just that she has managed to keep in touch with other friends.
But I didn't want to thrown away a friendship because my self esteem is telling me she doesn't want me in her life.,
But if a friends said that she wasn't sure if you wanted to keep in touch then if you wanted to, you'd make the effort wouldn't you?
Argh. Sorry for the rambling!

I totally he how you feel. I still wonder if my ex friend intentionally stopped making an effort or if other things in her life took over. Either way I felt hurt, in fact I cried a few times! Like you we had been through a lot together and i thought of her as someone extremely and can honestly say I loved her. It took a good 6 months to get to where I am now and if I'm honest it does still hurt when I think about it too much.

Extremely important to me.