Do you think racist people can change their attitudes?

[allisonpeters]

Old and younger people. I know a 21 year old male who is racist towards Pakistanis and my 52 year old mother who is racist towards her own biracial granddaughter

A cousin of mine used to be quite a hard core racist, NF type person.

She’s now happily married to an Asian man and they’ve had a couple of children.

People can change.

They can if they want to. Are you the poster whose mum won't have anything to do with your 7 month old DD? If so, I'm sorry but I don't think there's any chance. She doesn't want to love her.

Yes I do think this can change. Best way is to know and mix with those who are different from the person who is prejudiced. Exposure to difference can help. One danger is if the exposure is of the ‘wrong type’ eg with bad luck prejudice is confirmed.
I am white. I do think if I were bame and knew someone had been racist I personally would not ever really accept they were no longer racist. I think it would take a long time if ever for that knowledge to fade.
( there is contradiction in the above or perhaps simply acknowledgment that it is different from different perspectives ? - complex)

Usually their ideology is built on such ridiculous foundations that just getting to know someone who is not of the same race can be enough. However if your mother is still racist against her own grandchild I’m not sure there can be any hope. I hope the grandchild is NC.

I think people can. A lot of my family are/were racist - not an excuse but we live in a small middle class village in the north west. Never seen anyone non white British there except the Pakistani family who own the corner shop.

Used to say things like 'i don't know if I'd rather you bring home a black person or be a lesbian, both are as bad as each other'. Disgusting I know.

Now my dad's girlfriend is mixed race Caribbean and has 4 black/mixed race kids (different dads), my sister's best friend at uni is Polish. So they've reassessed a lot and discovered that actually wow, people can be nice if they have a different accent or skin colour, who knew?!

It's all about exposure, some communities are still hugely insular.

Yes I am @IWannaSeeHowItEnds, I’m still heartbroken that she has no love in her heart for my daughter just because she’s mixed with a different race but I’ve posted here to hear about other people’s stories. Hopefully she can come around and accept her one day, while she’s still young and has no memory of course.

And yes she’s no contact with any of her GC now

People can change. My mum used to make quite homophobic comments, but then she got to know a gay man and became very open minded and tolerant.

Lots of people don't change though.

You can be married to a person of a different race and still be racist, it’s actually quite common.

I don’t know whether people stop being racist or just stop being vocal about it.

It can happen, but usually takes some kind of personal experience. My late godfather (born during WW1) was very racist. In his final years, he had a carer come to his home who was from SE Asia. He thought she was marvellous and it apparently completely changed his opinion of all "brown" people.

Sometimes people have a bad experience with someone of a particular race or religion and generalise. In that case if they meet more people of that race or religion they will hopefully see they were wrong.

People can change, but they have to have the ability to accept that they might be wrong and to be open to something new. Some people are just ignorant and meeting different people and having different experiences can help; some people are probably just hateful and there's nothing that can really be done to shift that.

I think deep down they still hold onto some of their beliefs even if they do now have a laugh with a Chinese work colleague and live near some nice quiet Nigerian family who mind their own business and say hello in the street.