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boyfriend and son

3 replies

misstakenone · 28/12/2018 21:20

Sorry to post this in chat as it's not very lightheartee but I didn't think it really fitted into lone parents or relationships and I would appreciate some advice on this. I have been with bf nearly a year and kids have met him quite a bit. Bf came over earlier and as son was coming downstairs to say hi bf started saying he's a good looking kid but needs to sort his attitude out - kind of to me kind of to him but son (9) only heard the second half of it. Bf apologised and later said it was just banter but I have said it is not acceptable and he has now gone. Would this be a deal breaker for you? There have been a couple of other times where bf has reacted negatively to my son's behaviour and had shouted at him once and told him off another time- though i had not fully seen what had happened in the run up - was in the same room but distracted. I am worried if he could be like this at the relative start of the relationship then it could escalate. I would never say anything like that even to a parent of a child let alone in earshot of the child even if I did think that about the child and my boy is really very well behaved overall anyway (not that that is the point) Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
WineGummyBear · 28/12/2018 21:23

Really hard to say from the information you have given but...If you have doubts about whether it's in your children's interests to bring this man into their lives then definitely explore them.

Sorry that's not very precise, I suppose I'm suggesting that you listen to your gut on this one.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 28/12/2018 21:25

No. He's set off an early tripwire. To give an example: I know a stepdad whose DSCs can be difficult from time to time. In the run-up to the marriage, he deferred absolutely over behaviour to his fiancée. Obviously, "don't do that" was said a few times, but judgement? Never. Your bf has cocked up big time.

BitchQueen90 · 28/12/2018 21:29

I'd run for the hills to be honest but I absolutely hate the idea of a boyfriend trying to parent my child anyway.

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