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Is helping meddling? Is not helping abandonment?

4 replies

WakandaForever · 28/12/2018 14:10

My best friend is in his mid 30s and is great at his job, has been in management for years and is great with kids, reliable etc. Unfortunately he's had some bad luck over the years where he's been in a few car accidents so has some debts he's still paying off, and sometimes the company he's working for has closed down through no fault of his. As a result he's been forced to move back in with his parents and is still single. I've avoided getting involved with trying to help him find a girlfriend so far, to respect the fact that he is an adult and can take care of himself. But now I'm concerned that with only a few years to go before he's 40 that I need to help him find a girlfriend but I'm not sure how best to go about it or even if helping will backfire on me and I risk losing my best friend. He did have a girlfriend a few years ago who I thought was perfect for him but they broke up when she had to leave the country for a while. She's now back in the country but has dropped out of meeting up with him and has since just been friendly with him, though I suspect that she could be persuaded to give him another chance. I was thinking about messaging her to ask her about how to help him but would like to hear advice from mumsnetters first as to what I should do.

OP posts:
ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 28/12/2018 14:12

Helping is definitely meddling imo.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 28/12/2018 14:16

Who made you the matchmaker? Leave him to be, he is a grown man.

XmasHolly · 28/12/2018 14:41

But now I'm concerned that with only a few years to go before he's 40 that I need to help him find a girlfriend but I'm not sure how best to go about it

Best way? Keep your neb out of his business. Hmm

WakandaForever · 28/12/2018 14:51

Yeah I'm just worried because he's so shy and has found it hard to get girlfriends when single women were less rare, that I need to do something rather than just sit back and offer sympathy. I've already got kids and my wife has a good job. I don't want him missing out on the same, or feeling like crap when he visits and sees us having a good time.

OP posts:
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