This is incredibly outing but I need the wisdom of mumsnet. I am autistic and interested in a guy who is also autistic and I can't tell if he is interested or not as I keep getting mixed signals from him and it's starting to drive me insane.
It was his birthday recently and I and some other friends of his went to stay with him for the night, between 6 that night and 2 the next day as his dad has severe OCD and routine driven Aspergers and struggles to cope with guests. When his mum was checking when people were leaving and if they needed a ride to train stations or anything I was invited to stay another day or two by her as he was playing in concerts and there were family/church things they were planning that I was welcome to join them on and throughout the stay he tried several times to convince me that I should stay till the New Year when he had to head back to the city for work. He has also commented several times that he would like to come and vist me at my home and meet my family, and that he wants my family to like him.
According to his friends and older sister he has been talking about me since last Christmas (when we'd spoken only a handful of times) and 'boasting/bragging' about me and how I am and what I do and all of that since before easter and when he was home over the summer after we'd been on holiday (with other friends as well) all they got was WhatOnEarth did/said this or thinks that. Which I was completely unaware of till I met them. And his mum commented several times that it's been lovely for me to stay and meet and get to know the family and when I left his dad hugged me twice, told me that he hates guests but I am welcome there anytime I feel like it. His sister has added me on Facebook and we're swapping some books between us.
However I cannot work of for certain what he wants and I think that could be because he's unsure himself. I would be happy if he just wants to be friends and I'd be happy if he wanted a relationship however I cannot deal with the ambiguity we have right now. I want to say something/talk about it however we do live at opposite ends of the country right now and it's not something I feel comfortable messaging about. To me this type of conversation should be face to face. But at the moment when we do see each other face to face right now there are always other people around and on the off chance it's the two of us, I can't start it. I just don't know what to do so any advice or wisdom or a handhold while I try to wrap my head around how I feel would be fantastic as I've never liked anyone before. So this is completely new and rather terrifying.