Ttc. Can dry sex cause uti?

[PerfectionistProcrastinator]

Myself and dp are ttc. I fell pregnant last year but unfortunately it ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks. We have been trying ever since with no luck but part of our problem is likely with frequency of sex.

I have always been susceptible to uti but thought I had nailed keeping them at bay as for the first 3 years of our relationship I didn’t have one. Sex was always my trigger. I do all the things you should do to keep uti at bay. We both wash before sex, I pee after sex, don’t hold my bladder, don’t wear anything too tight or use soap down below. But for the past year or so I get a uti usually if we have sex more than one time over a 3 day period.

At first I thought it was because I have had to take a few different sets of antibiotics this year which of course is a viscous cycle but now I’m not so sure.

I have been told during examinations that I am rather on the small side down below. Dp is if anything a little too big for me. We have always used lube to make it more comfortable but when ttc you are not supposed to use standard lube as it kills the sperm. I tried a conception one and that too gave me a uti, though I do wonder if it was because it was TOO slippery (literally couldn’t get much friction when we used the recommended amount)!

I am aroused when we have sex but would prefer to use lube. I’m just wondering if drying up a little bit is contributing to my uti frequency. I am going to try using sperm friendly lube sparingly to see if that helps.

Does anyone have any experience of the same thing? Can being on the dry side be a trigger for uti? Trying for a baby when you get a uti each time is starting to really upset me.

Ouch. Please start using lube again. Having painful sex in the name of TTC just isn’t worth it!

Use coconut oil

I feel like it would be a waste of time when ttc to use a lube which is not advised. I want to try to find a way around it if possible. Sex is not really “dry”. It’s just that I dry up a little sometimes during. Which is when I’d usually apply more lube and maybe that’s what prevented uti before?

Thanks for your suggestion, I’ve looked up coconut oil and from what I’ve read it’s not advised to use it as lube.

Preseed. Got pg several times using this brand, it is not harmful to sperm in fact claims to help ttc. Being sore or not having enough lubricant for the sperm to swim in won’t help anyone. I don’t know if it will set off your UTI but I have sensitive skin and it didn’t affect me. You don’t need to have sex that often if you have it at the right times - I mean you might need three times in one week and then nothing for three weeks. Sorry for your miscarriage, by the way, that really sucks.

Thank you, I have heard good things about preseed and that was my next thing on the list to try. I think I avoided it until now due to the last brand causing a uti. It was one from boots but like I say, I wonder if just using a small amount will do the trick.

Around ovulation I get an abundance of cervical mucus so I feel like all I need is something to help keep me lubricated during sex. I would just love to know if not having used lube for the last year is why I keep getting them.

Using digital ovulation strips so I know I’m having sex at the right times, but I’m sure a dr would tell me I need to do it more than once a month to up our chances.

I think the preseed (and your own egg-white fluid) act to hold sperm there for a while so having sex prior to ovulation is helpful too. I used the sticks with the smiles on them and when I got desperate the temperature charting too. Good luck!

Can you get cystitis from sex, is that what used to be called the honeymoon disease? Could you have something like KY Jelly.

UTI wise are you talking about cystitis or an internal infection which requires medication? If cystitis, it is increasingly common after "rough/deep" sex IYKWIM so I'm really asking if he is too long apposed to too wide? If it's too long and bruising/irritating can you not try shallow penetration?

Yes Cheesy, that’s what it used to be called. I’m not sure about ky, I would think it would be unsuitable when ttc but I’ll check.

Combat, I’m not sure what the difference is between cystitis and uti? All I know is that when it starts to sting when I pee it progresses within a day from mild to severe pain and I can never shift it unless I get antibiotics. I saw a specialist when I was 17 (I’m 35 now) who said to have antibiotics on standby as I clearly couldn’t shift it on my own as some people can. I had tests but nothing was found.

Dp is longer and wider than I find comfortable but only a little. Probably slightly bigger than average. The sex isn’t really rough to begin with and he struggles to orgasm with shallow penetration.

As unromantic as it sounds I’ve asked how he would feel about doing it manually so that we’re not actually having sex but he doesn’t want to make a baby that way and I can understand. I’m worrying about my age

I would second coconut oil though I know it’s not ideal for ttc. I got a uti last time I used preseed which has put me off! I do everything you do (get your DP to wash before sex too if you don’t already) inc a glass of water before and after sex, and also take a cranberry supplement. Good luck! Uti’s are vile especially when ttc. I’ve read about some women who have to take an antibiotic every time they have sex.

Pixie, I hope you don’t mind me asking...did you use th recommended amount? It’s a lot. I’ve just been out and bought some but I only want to use a small amount to make sex more comfortable. When we used the recommended amount before it was way too much! I didn’t use any lube when I got pregnant before so I’m hoping I can just use a little without getting a uti from it.

I didn’t use as much as they said. BUT I’m still not sure how the lubricant can give you a UTI, they are in different “bits” so to speak.

From what I’ve read, most uti are caused by bacteria being massaged up into the urethra during sex. I’m guessing that with an abundance of slippery lube it’s easier for bacteria to travel around!? I also read that one of the ingredients used in conception lube is not recommended if you are susceptible to uti.

I checked the ingredients in the regular Tesco’s own brand lube we used to use and it’s free from any of the ingredients listed that are said to cause uti.

I suppose all I can do is try.

I think I probably used too much (realise you only need a little and they do exaggerate how much you need) but it might have been due to a combination of things like not drinking enough water that day... I really don’t know as I had used it twice before and it was fine, but the last time led to a uti. Do you know which ingredients to avoid then? I haven’t checked what’s actually in preseed.

I've used ky jelly whilst ttc both my kids without any issues. I thought the water based ones were fine.

I’m so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage

TTC wise, how about using oral sex to lubricate instead?

We’ve never gotten on with normal lube so tend to just go down on each other if there’s a bit too much friction.

I also agree with PP that you don’t have to have lots of sex to get pregnant. It helps, but it’s not a requirement. DS was conceived after only having sex once in my fertile week.

Fingers crossed for you x

Hi OP,

I have no experience in your problem area other than TTC. DH and I conceived without bonking every 3 days. To be honest I don't have that high a sex drive anymore and one a week suited me fine - I didn't want to have to feel forced into it and remove the enjoyment from it. Coupled with us both doing 45+ hours a week and it was just impossible to get in the mood! I bought the OPK strips from Amazon and tracked everything in the glow app.

I got pregnant on the 3rd month of using them, which considering the first month I used them the day I got them I was ovulating then the next day was negative so I'd missed my window I think is quite good. I don't think you need to up sex, it is possible if you get your timing right and save yourself a UTI. Good luck!

Bless you, it will be the tip of his penis banging against the top of you, it's so common hence the rough sex/deeper peneyration comment but in your case it's purely the size. I get bouts of it so feel your pain! I am not quite sure what to suggest other than chopping a bit of him off!!

Stephisaur it’s been a while since I’ve done this but I’m pretty sure saliva is not good for sperm - worth double checking this if you’re ttc

I am using the clearblue digital ovulation tests that pinpoint your 2 most fertile days. I got pregnant the first time we used these before but since then, no joy. I get a large amount of cervical mucus and sometimes ovulation pain too so it must be accurate. For some reason it’s just not happening and I’ve got it in my head that more sex might be the answer. But I suppose you are all right about not necessarily needing to have more.

Cabbage, you are right about saliva not being good for sperm. In any case I’m not sure I could produce enough!

We’ve had rushed sex before where I wasn’t as lubricated as I could have been and for about 3 days after it felt uncomfortable on and off and I couldn’t tell if I had an infection coming on. I didn’t. But I’ve also had that same scinario where we had sex again a couple of days after and then I got one. So it almost feels like I can take a certain amount until it’s aggrevated. This was never an issue when we used to use normal lube which is why it feels related.

I’m making it sound like I’m totally dry down there, I’m not....but for some reason changing positions seems to make it feel a bit more dry on reentry.

I’m hoping this is the answer and it’s just a matter of finding the right sperm friendly/me friendly lube!

I found Conceive Plus good, and it didn't cause cystitis for me.