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Getting back in touch

3 replies

Raybay · 27/12/2018 11:15

Hi, looking for advice.

We used to be really good friends with our next door neighbours. Celebrate New year together, receprical dinners, invited to daughter's wedding, garden parties, impromptu wine drinking in the garden etc. They are older than us by about 20 yrs, their children a few years younger than us but we got on really well with the whole family.

13 yrs ago when I was first pregnant and signed off work with stress a planning letter from the council arrived, they planned to build a house in their garden at the side of their house boundary to ours. We were gobsmacked, not least because when we thought about an extension the first thing we did was to talk to them then showed the plans prior to seeking planning permission. I know I was highly stressed hormonal etc but felt like a kick in the teeth. We stopped communicating. I was extra sad as they didn't know about the pregnancy and the wife was always saying how she'd be like an extra granny/fount of advice etc.

We have been sad about losing the friendships we had. And eventually the planning was granted but nothing built and the garden not sold as a building plot.

Fast forward to Christmas eve this year, another neighbour told me that the wife (our ex friend), had been very ill this year that she is out of the other side of and had a family tradegy that I don't want to post about. Anyway it got me thinking that life really is too short and I am considering putting a card through the door saying how sorry I am to hear of her illness, anything I can do etc. Basically we'd love to rekindle the friendship.

I am asking WWYD. No cross words have ever been said by either party. I don't care about not getting a reply or being to to sod off but the very last thing I want to do is offend/upset them. Would love advice from you or hear from anyone whose hard a similar situation. Thanks

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 27/12/2018 11:51

Are they still your neighbours and you haven’t talked for 13 years? How awkward. I’m not sure that I would bother after all this time. Maybe if it was 6 months, but not 13 years. It might look like you’re trying to salve your conscience in case she dies.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/12/2018 11:54

It's a nice thing to do, just do it, don't overthink.

Raybay · 27/12/2018 20:00

I am not thinking of alleviating my conscience it's that I thought I may be of some help and like I said, she, her husband and especially one of her children we had great times, fun, laughter etc. Had we stayed childless, they are the sort of people we could see ourselves going on holiday with. We were very close friends. I talk about them often and had said to a friend this summer how much I missed them and she said just invite them for a drink, what have you got to lose? So it's been on my mind this year, just hearing she had been ill made me think that it could be a way to approach with offers of help to open lines of communication. I'm guessing if I try and it works then it's fabulous, if it fails at least I know that it can never be repaired

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