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Original poster

Children's party panic!

12 replies

bumblebee1987 · 27/12/2018 00:09

Apologies, bit of a boring topic, but i'm having a bit of a panic about my daughter's party and wanted some advice!

I'm having a party for my daughter's 6th Birthday next week, and out of 25 children invited, I have only had 9 children RSVP. I have posted a couple of times in her class facebook page, gently asking if people would be able to let me know if they can make it, but have still not heard from the majority.

I completely understand that this time of year is really busy for everyone, and my daughters party is by no means a priority for anyone, but i'm not really sure what to do! It's fine if only 9 children can come (although my daughter will be a bit disappointed!), but if that's the case, then i'd rather cancel the hall that i've hired (as 9 children will look a bit lost!) and just have the party at my house. I've also hired an entertainer, who would like an idea of numbers, which I don't feel that I can really give them at this point. I don't have any contact details for the children who haven't RSVPd, and obviously being the school holidays, I wont see them on the school run or anything. I guess the fault lies with me as I should have pestered people for a reply before school broke up, and I didn't.

At this point, i'm on the verge of changing the venue and just informing the people who have RSVP'd, but then i'll feel awful if some turn up at the hall assuming that it's there and fine for them to come despite not having RSVP'd. However, I don't really want to have it at the hall and waste money on party bags and food for 25 children if they aren't coming, also I think it will be very noticeable if there are only 9 children in a hall, and it will be very obvious to my daughter that lots of children are missing.

Sorry, real first world problem here! Any suggestions?! Is not RSVP'ing a thing these days, or is it just a really bad time of year for a party?!

OP posts:
Stephisaur · 27/12/2018 00:16

I think a lot of people don’t RSVP to invites. I find it incredibly rude, but evidently not everyone sees it as a necessity.

I wouldn’t cancel the hall I don’t think. Even if only 9 children show up, they’ll have more room to run around. I think you’ll be surprised how much space they can occupy!

Not sure what to do with regards to the food and party bags. If it’s cold food (sandwiches etc) then I would probably make up the full amount and freeze any that aren’t eaten. If it’s hot food, could you only cook half and cook more if needed? Or could you eat any leftovers yourself?

Hopefully your DD will enjoy her party regardless z

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 27/12/2018 00:51

Thank you for your reply Smile

I find it very odd that people don't RSVP, it just seems really rude to me?!

Okay good idea, I'll keep the hall, I've paid for it anyway so I guess it doesn't make much of a difference, and at least my house won't be trashed!

I was planning on doing little boxes with cold food in them, as I did that once before and the kids loved it, so I guess I could just do a few more in case extras turn up. Party bags, maybe I should do 10 'good' ones, and then some back up emergency ones so that I don't waste too much money?

I just wish people would RSVP, then I would know for sure! Angry

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 27/12/2018 02:04

It is incredibly rude, and I really don't know why parents do it.

Used to drive me mad when DD was primary school age, but we did have class lists of contact details and I did use to text people, or ask the parents in the playground. I remember one family ignoring all contact, and I asked the dad on the Thursday (party was on Saturday) - he said his son hadn't made his mind up, so would let me know on the day! I told him not to bother, and I wouldn't include his son in the numbers I had to provide to the party organiser.

It got easier when DD went to senior school, and she would press her friends for a reply herself!

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 27/12/2018 09:25

He said he'd let you know on the day?! In what world is that acceptable?! People are so frustrating! Glad to hear it gets easier by secondary school though, silver lining!

OP posts:
formerbabe · 27/12/2018 10:39

I think you'll find lots of people leave it pretty late to rsvp at the best of times...It's a busy time of year so many will have forgotten in amongst the million things they have to do. I reckon as the festive season dies down, lots will think ' oh I must remember to rsvp to bumblebee'

TeaForTiger · 27/12/2018 10:42

I would probably do enough for about 15, just to cover myself.
10 kids is plenty and you could bump up the numbers by inviting siblings maybe?

Hope your DD enjoys her day.

halcyondays · 27/12/2018 10:46

I definitely wouldn't cancel the hall, it will only cause confusion. I bet you do get more than 9 and they will be fine in the hall even if you don't. More will reply before the party and you''ll get some that don't reply but still turn up. It's annoying but always happens.

I don't think you can do "good" party bags and back up ones, they will start to open them at the party and it would be obvious they were different. Just do 25 cheap bags, sweets etc, minus anybody who has replied and isn't coming.

CallMeRachel · 27/12/2018 10:56

Definitely don't cancel the hall!

You'll probably find that CF parents will bring siblings/cousins/hangers on and expect food and party bags and the 9 who've said they'll come will end up being 15.

Of those who haven't bothered replying, they're keeping they're options open and half may just turn up, with the obligatory siblings in tow.

Not RSVPing is very rude but had definitely become the social norm (current entitlement)
for thoughtless parents.

shortgreengiraffe · 27/12/2018 11:03

Could you order pizzas on the day once you know how many turn up?

Littlebird88 · 27/12/2018 11:07

I would.be tempted.to post again to say please respond by the end of the day or I will.assume you can't come.
drives me bonkers.
people tend to wait and see if they have anything else they would rather do ... v v rude.
Hope it goes well and tour daughter has fun.

TeenTimesTwo · 27/12/2018 11:10

Yes they should have replied etc.
But
In future don't organise a party for school holidays, you are asking for trouble. End of the second week back in January would work better, invites given out on second day of term.

tbh People won't want to be arranging their Christmas socialising and activities around a 6yo's birthday party. So they will hold off replying until they see what else is going on, and may well forget altogether in the bustle.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 27/12/2018 16:00

I’d text those who rsvped asking if they have phone numbers for those that haven’t, and if they’d mind contacting them to check if they’d mind the number being passed to you so you can confirm numbers for catering. I’ve done this for another parent in the past as I know how stressful lack of rsvps is.

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