How do you explain social media/Facebook to someone who doesn’t use social media ever?

[Karenspolos]

A friend doesn’t use any social media with the exception of whatsapp. Absolutely refuses point blank. Fair enough. How do you explain to them the impact/meaning of the stuff other people post?

An example I’m thinking of is an old acquaintance posting horrible sexist/offensive memes. NonSocialMedia friend says “don’t look at it. That way you don’t get offended.”

Other situation - lots of the school mums went out for someone’s birthday. One woman wasn’t invited and was v upset particularly at the photos on Facebook of the party. NonSocialMedia friend says that if no one had posted, there wouldn’t have been a problem.

How to explain that’s missing the point? Ideas plz!

I actually sort of agree with non social media friend. If no one had posted on Facebook that they were at a party then no one else would have felt left out.

Social media is a double edged sword. I find it very useful in some ways, but it has a lot of power to hurt people's feelings too, either intentionally or unintentionally.

She knows; she's just being difficult and trying to push her "non social media" way of life.

She's not the person to rant to about this type of thing; like you wouldn't rant to someone who didn't cook about your kitchen woes, or someone who had chosen not to work about your career.

I don't think she is missing the point.

I think she’s missing the point because just my choosing not to see someone’s offensive behaviour on line, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

She is deliberately missing the point.

The birthday get together would have happened and people would talk about it regardless of whether it was shared on social media (otherwise it all gets a bit 'if a tree falls on a wood and nobody saw it, did it happen?')

People can, and should, make whatever choice is right for them, but the faux naive missing the point is really them being a bit of an arse.

See that’s what I think too Maisy. The birthday thing was horrible because it was (in my opinion) engineered, very much deliberate. NonSocMed friend disagrees but how can she when she didn’t see it?

So if you’re a non social media person, does that mean that you can’t be offende by what’s posted?

The repercussions of the Big Night Out are still rippling. The organiser has now deleted the mum that was left out, and changed her profile picture to one of everyone on the night out!

The two things are different I think.... I agree with your friend about the party, I think people take social media posts far too personally, not everyone needs to be invited to absolutely everything people they know do... you never would have expected to be before social media existed and I'm sure on some level you would have realised that people may have a social life that was separate from you or see other friends without you sometimes, just because you now sometimes might see pictorial evidence of that does not legitimise getting all put out over it!
I agree with you about the offensive/racist memes and statuses however... as if you overheard someone saying those things in public even if they were not being said directly to you I think it's reasonable to still take issue with it... I'd not turn a blind eye to something like hate speech just because it was online and not 'in the real world'... I dont think being online renders it any more acceptable

"don’t look at it. That way you don’t get offended."

I 99% agree with that. I have a cousin who posts unscientific tripe so I don't follow his feed. I still like the person just not his daft opinions. It's not my place (or in my power) to police everyone else's opinions. (1%) If the opinions are so terrible you can't let ignore then unfriend & maybe never speak to again.

As for birthday exclusion indignation: sheesh! Are those involved like 13? Find other people to call friends & be glad not to waste more time on unfriendly people.

Those people are nasty. Weirdly, you're focused on your mate and her faux/real naïveté around social media. Focus on the meanness of your school mum mates and their behaviour by deleting them and distancing yourself from bullshit like that.

Ourkidmolly you’ve sort of summed it up. Naive friend refuses to see any nastiness in the other woman whereas I think it’s obvious! But naive friend isn’t on social media so “just doesn’t see it.”