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Original poster

What age did your kids start going on sleep overs?

39 replies

Rockingchair88 · 26/12/2018 18:35

My 4.5 year old has been invited to a sleepover but I think he’s a little young. He’s so excited - but I feel like a meanie that I might say no.

Isn’t that too young?? Or is that a normal age? I don’t know the parents all that well, though we’ve had various play dates, but the kid is DC’s “best friend” (though they only met in September - school!).

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 26/12/2018 18:36

Our aren’t allowed at sleepovers but we’ve had kids stay here from about 3ish.

Original poster
Rockingchair88 · 26/12/2018 18:39

(I also don’t really want to reciprocate. I don’t want to look after someone else’s 4.5-yr-old overnight Blush)

OP posts:
SeaGreenSeaGlass · 26/12/2018 18:43

It seems very young to me. At that age I'd only let mine have a sleepover with a family that I knew really well, so I would have a reasonable idea of their values and lifestyle etc.

For staying with random friends from school etc when I didn't know the family well, I'd need to feel comfortable that my child could look after themselves reasonably well, including keeping themselves safe.

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wendz86 · 26/12/2018 22:01

Mine went at 6 years old and came home at 9pm as she was home sick . Haven’t tried again yet .

RogueV · 26/12/2018 22:03

Yea does seem young.

heather1 · 26/12/2018 22:08

Too young. Also we stopped sleepovers because of the inappropriate things that were happening.
Plus they are so tired the next day, grumpy and miserable, it just isn’t worth it.

KatharinaRosalie · 26/12/2018 22:08

Mine have had several at 5 and 3. But with family friends, not sure I would be as comfortable with random classmates or similar.

Philomensapie · 26/12/2018 22:09

Nearly 4.

thewinkingprawn · 26/12/2018 22:10

5-6 here - both have been fine. I was a bit worried at first but it seemed to be such a thing in my first DD’s class that I said yes. She was absolutely fine. I can’t say I loved having them back at that age but they are older now and the children that used to come are like part of the family (most of them anyway 😀). At age 9 this year we did our first big birthday sleepover with 7 kids!

flossietoot · 26/12/2018 22:12

5 at good friends. Family long before

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 26/12/2018 22:12

year 5, and even then only one kid at a time, and not often
Among those of my acquaintance, the sleepovers that took place in KS1 invariably ended in tears. Literally as well as metaphorically.

TheMincePiesAreMine · 26/12/2018 22:12

Ours did "sleepovers" at that age - sharing a room with our friends' children when both us and our friends were in the house. Actually sleeping away from family, more like 8.

orangeicecream · 26/12/2018 22:16

My two kids had friends from school over for sleepovers from about 8-9. Even then a few ducking out at bedtime. I try to do them as infrequently (2 or 3 times per year) as possible as I can't relax to sleep properly.

Gotstuckwiththisname · 26/12/2018 22:17

My DD had one last year at 7. I think it was slightly too young. I've not asked them back yet.

missyB1 · 26/12/2018 22:17

I have 3 kids and didn’t allow sleepovers until they were 10ish. My youngest did his first one last week (he’s just turned 10).

Stompythedinosaur · 26/12/2018 22:19

My dds went to their first sleepover age 4 and 6, but it was a family we knew well. We hosted our first big sleepover for dd1's 7th birthday, and have had a couple since.

When I was young sleepovers were for older kids but they seem very much the done thing now.

DramaAlpaca · 26/12/2018 22:20

Mine were nine or ten. With one of them it was older because he wasn't comfortable until then. Four or five seems very young to me. Unless it's with family they spend a lot of time with of course.

W0rriedMum · 26/12/2018 22:22

9-10

It's old enough to know when something feels wrong, and to fake an illness if they want to.

I have a teen who hates sleepovers.. She does them for birthdays under duress but prefers her own bed any day of the week.

Frazzled2207 · 26/12/2018 22:22

Mine is 5 and is keen, though I'm not. I would be more worried about having to reciprocate though.

That being said he goes to my parents' house for sleepovers and is fine with that. At a friend's house I don't think I'd trust him not to muck about.

KeepServingTheFestiveSnogs · 26/12/2018 22:22

My dd had her first with my parents at 2 months and regularly after that. It meant when sleepovers became a thing, my kid was fine. Peers who hadn't had similar experiences couldn't cope.

This is v much a parental choice thing, and no right or wrong, but in my experience most kids love - at least the idea of - them.

Overseasmom100 · 26/12/2018 22:24

My DS hated them, he is 13 now and only ever done one. He is just a homebird

Deeedeeee · 26/12/2018 22:36

Sleep overs with grandparents from 1 or 2. With school friends... DD has recently started doing this (she's 7) but only with families that I feel comfortable with her going to. If I felt unsure or didn't know the family very well I would say no. And they'd had lots of play dates prior to the sleep over.
DS (11) has never stayed over at a friend's but has once , recently, had his friend to stay at ours.
I do feel there is an expectation to have the other kid back to yours to stay, which is a pain but I guess it's an important part of their social lives. We've had DD's friends to stay and it's been fine so far, luckily she has lovely friends.
If I didn't feel comfortable with the friend's family there's no way I'd let them stay over.

BrokenWing · 26/12/2018 22:54

Assuming you mean school friends, so parents you only know a little or in passing ds was 9.

Dothehappydance · 26/12/2018 23:17

DD1 was in yr 5 (so 9/10 kind of age), she only went on a couple though. Since starting secondary she has been on a few and had a few, she is now yr 8 (12/13) and has had a couple of friends stop who were on their first sleepovers - one apparently has high anxiety and the other requires a lot of medication, which hasn't fazed me, but understandably her Mum was quite anxious the first time she stopped.

DS is yr 6 (10/11) he hasn't stopped anywhere, and not likely to do so for quite a while (asd)

Smallest is coming up 7, has never stopped a night away from me and her Dad (though the odd night it has only been the one of us) She is having her first sleepover this week (family - not sure if Grandma or Auntie yet) I wouldn't send her to a friend's yet.

TheNumberfaker · 27/12/2018 12:43

I think 4 is too young if you don’t know the parents well and/or if they are not fully dry at bedtime. My 7.5 yr old has had several, but only with friends we have known for years.
10 year old has had a couple of sleepover parties, and many sleepovers since 6 years with her best friend - both parents are/were teachers and they just felt totally trustworthy, still do.

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