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Original poster

What age is acceptable to get married?

56 replies

otos · 26/12/2018 16:17

When would you say is the right age to get married if you think there is one?
Just seen an old friend (19) get engaged and sparked this thought in me.

OP posts:
ChodeofChodeHall · 26/12/2018 18:07

When you meet the right person, no need to muck about. I married at 32 but wish I'd met him much sooner!

SayNoToCarrots · 26/12/2018 18:10

Interesting to see that 30+ seems to be the concensus. Just about when a woman's fertility begins to decline . . .

lemonface · 26/12/2018 18:10

Why get married? Its for insecure people and is old fashioned

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Marriage & partnerships
Juanbablo · 26/12/2018 18:14

I was 26 but it really depends on when is right for the people in question. It will be different for everyone.

PurpleDaisies · 26/12/2018 18:16

Interesting to see that 30+ seems to be the concensus. Just about when a woman's fertility begins to decline . . .

Is that the consensus? I’m not getting that from this thread.

UserMe18 · 26/12/2018 18:38

We married at 22 (high school sweet hearts) have been together 15 years and I consider myself very lucky and happy to grow up and share my life with my best friend. That said I think that is too young and I think any stable relationship doesn't need to rush into marriage, if it's a strong relationship there doesn't need to be a rush, we had our reasons for marrying when we did but I don't think it would work for many.

3out · 26/12/2018 18:43

I don’t think there’s a ‘right’ age. People seem to get married quite young here (early 20s), they mostly seem pretty happy/no higher divorce rate than those who marry later.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 26/12/2018 18:46

I was 17. I was too young. We’re stull together, but we did have a bit of time apart in the middle. Couldn’t be more in love with him though and we renewed our vows and had a proper wedding last year.

icannotremember · 26/12/2018 19:04

There isn't one. As long as you're legally able in terms of age and capacity it doesn't matter. A friend of mine got married at 17 whilst pregnant, her and her husband are together 21 years on, had two more children, both in jobs they love, very happy. Most people we knew when she got married were rude and nasty about it simply because of her age, especially older adults. I cba with people who sneer like that.

TeenTimesTwo · 26/12/2018 19:06

I think it isn't so much age as life experience.
So a set of things that if you tick some/most means you aren't ready yet:

  • not finished education
  • not held down a full time job for at least a year
  • not lived away from parental home
  • not managed your own finances
  • not done enough general socialising to have an idea of the different types of people out there yet
^^and the same for whoever you are marrying.
brizzledrizzle · 26/12/2018 19:09

16 is when it's legal. It depends on the people whether or not that is a good idea.

TeenTimesTwo · 26/12/2018 19:13

I just think that the risk is too high if you have little life experience.

I don't want my DDs marrying/getting pregnant before they have learned to be independent adults who know they can look after themselves. I certainly don't want them tied to someone by a child before they have got to know them in the 'real world' (as opposed to the lovely cosy world where your parents put a roof over your head).

It might work out. But if you live until you are 80, why rush to get married at 19?

StealthPolarBear · 26/12/2018 19:18

I got married at 25, we'd been together six or seven years and knwin each other for a decade. I do look back and think we were very young.

Doilooklikeatourist · 26/12/2018 19:19

It’s when you meet the right person , nothing to do with age
I was 33 , and we’d been together for 7 months
We celebrated our silver wedding this year
But , 19 is far too young 😀

Babdoc · 26/12/2018 19:23

I was 19 and DH 20 when we met. We moved in together 3 days later, married after 5 years, and loved each other to bits right up to his death at the age of 35. I’m glad we didn’t wait - we had 16 wonderful years and two children, born just before his death.

UserMe18 · 26/12/2018 19:25

@StealthPolarBear I do the same, I was adamant I was doing the right thing (still am ha!), never questioned my age, it was just right, but I look back on photos and think gosh we look young what must people have thought ha! No one said anything but were completely supportive. I think we were very lucky in that we are true companions, we have worked out how to adult together, we've travelled together, we've grown up together (while still being independent enough to make our own life choices like university etc) I feel very blessed as I don't think many people get to successfully share that part of their lives with people and the hopefully grow old together, but I appreciate luck (and some hard work now and again!) has has played a part.

thebaronetofcockburn · 26/12/2018 19:27

But if you live until you are 80, why rush to get married at 19?

Because there's no guarantee you'll live until you're 80, and some people at that age are far more sensible than I was at that age, have already been hitting serious goals for a while and have planned how to continue reaching their goals together as a married couple and in their own right, they want to try for kids in their 20s, all sorts of reasons.

StealthPolarBear · 26/12/2018 19:39

My mum got married at 19 so I suppose compared to her I felt old. I will have to ask her how she feels about it. My ds is almost 12,amazinf to think she was a few years older than him

scaredofthecity · 26/12/2018 19:39

I got married at 26 and it felt right.

I think it's about maturity and life experience more than an arbatory number.

It's also important to know and understand the grass isn't greener. How can you know if you haven't explored?! I knew how brill my DH was as I had something to compare him too. Grin

StealthPolarBear · 26/12/2018 19:40

And before anyone talks about the war etc etc, this was the seventies and she has (had) fairly modern views on life.

TeenTimesTwo · 26/12/2018 19:44

Babdoc I’m glad we didn’t wait
To be fair, you did wait 5 years to get married. Yes you moved in quickly, but nothing that couldn't be easily undone.

AnxiousMama101 · 26/12/2018 19:45

I got married at 21 after being with my partner for two years.
Best decision I ever made. ❤️

imarocketman50 · 26/12/2018 19:46

Met when I was 19 and him 24. Engaged when I was 21 and married and 23. Celebrating 15 years married next year.

CheeseTheDay · 26/12/2018 20:53

The 'acceptable' age, is the right age for each couple. Some people find the right person early in life, others much later, so how can there be an 'acceptable' age?!

I met my DH at school, when we were 13, we got together at 14, married at 22, and first child at 24. I know people wrote us off when we got married. We heard all the 'you'll miss out on so much' BS. We were determined to prove them wrong.

In November, we marked 26 years since our first date, and back in March we celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. Best of all though, we've had six beautiful children together. I wouldn't change any of it for anything.

importantkath · 26/12/2018 22:54

The first time a boyfriend proposed to me, I was 21. That didn't feel right.
Thé second time, I was 23. It felt right.

Am forty now and we celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary soon.

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