Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Argh, spa day.... wwyd?

24 replies

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 26/12/2018 11:11

My DSis who lives abroad is back for Christmas. She said in advance that as a present, she would get DM and me a joint session at a nice local spa, all three of us. Not really my thing, but I thought it'd be nice way to spend time together, use the sauna, visit the overpriced cafe etc. We are booked in for tomorrow.

Now it turns out she has booked us for massages. I hatehatehate massages. Not just in a "well I'd rather not" way but in a "I would honestly be much happier having a filling at the dentist" sort of way. I do not like being touched by strangers, it feels about as relaxing as a medical exam......

Eurgh! What do I do without looking like a horrible ungrateful brat?

OP posts:

Sleepyheads123 · 26/12/2018 11:16

Can you swap your massage for something like a manicure instead?

Teacherlikemisstrunchball · 26/12/2018 11:16

Just swap it to a different treatment that costs the same. I don’t like massages either, just call the spa and say you want your nails done instead and get them to swap the treatment over. I’ve done that before with no problems

Kirsteninakilt · 26/12/2018 11:18

Tell her you are under the osteopath for a bad back so massages are not allowed and you'd like to change it to a facial or manicure?

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2018 11:20

A good massage is lovely, if you can get over your squeamishness about it, but if not you might be able to have something else instead. A facial, for example, if you wouldn't mind that?

Depending on your relationship with your sister I would do one of the following:
A. Thank her and explain that you would feel more comfortable having a facial instead of a massage and ask if it would possible to change it - and I would apologise for being awkward (although it's not really being awkward to want to choose, it would soften the request)
But only do this if she is likely to respect your wishes and try and change it for you or let you change it.
B. Just contact the spa directly and ask politely if you can change it, then mention it to your sister as a fait accompli

WrapAndRoll · 26/12/2018 11:20

Phone the spa and swap the massage for something you would prefer, or even something you would have anywhere like a haircut.

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2018 11:20

Oops took too long writing my post, lots of cross posts!

AgentProvocateur · 26/12/2018 11:23

Have you ever actually had a proper massage? I felt the same as you about them, then I was persuaded by my friends on holiday to have one, and once I relaxed, I loved it. And I’ve been back for many more. I’m old and fat and self conscious, but they really have seen all sorts of bodies and they re so professional. I can’t believe I’ve spent 50 years avoiding them.

WrapAndRoll · 26/12/2018 11:27

Hmmm... I had one who dropped hints in the middle of a massage about their treatment being good for "weight loss" Leave it to the customer to bring up the topic!

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2018 11:28

I've had a lot of massages and no one has said anything like that.

Let's not put off the OP if she decides she is up for trying it!

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 26/12/2018 11:31

Hi, I have had sports massages from women physios and weirdly don't mind them but feel incredibly self-conscious in spa type settings. I suppose I could try getting over myself, I guess? But what if I just really hate it and then I'm trapped there for 45 minutes?

I was raped when I was younger and find anything where I have to take my clothes off and lie down difficult. I gave birth earlier this year and still have a lot of flashbacks so just feel this may not be the right time.

I will see if I can switch for a manicure though! That is a good idea!

OP posts:

Argonauts · 26/12/2018 11:35

I’m with you, OP, and it has nothing to do with bodily self-consciousness, I just hate massages, even the hand/foot massages you get with a manicure or pedicure, or a head massage at the hairdresser. Agree that it feels like a medical/dental procedure to those of who who don’t like them. I’d call up and what what other treatment you could switch to.

bookmum08 · 26/12/2018 11:37

Be honest. Say clearly "I don't like massages. I don't want one". If you can't change it then when it's the time for it say "I will be in the cafe. See you when you're finished". If your sister suggests a spa day as a 'treat' again be honest and say "nice idea and kind of you but it isn't something I enjoy so I would rather not do that". Otherwise you could end up as old ladies together and you say "remember those dreadful spa trips you dragged me to every year - I hated those". And sister looks shocked and says "why didn't you tell me. Blimey all those times and you never said anything".

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2018 11:56

I've just read your updates, no absolutely not the right time. If your sister has any ounce of empathy and compassion she will understand. I'm sure it will be very straightforward to change it.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 26/12/2018 11:58

Whenever I've been to a spa there has never been a problem switching the treatment. As long as it's not more expensive and the therapist is trained then it won't be any trouble

HunterHearstHelmsley · 26/12/2018 11:58

(The therapist will be trained!)

captainprincess · 26/12/2018 12:00

I go on a lot of spa days. Love them, but I HATE massages so completely understand you! I always swap it for something else.
As massages as so popular most beauty therapists are more than happy to do a manicure or something. Massages are pretty hard for them to do all day so probably glad of a change!
One time I was told I couldn't swap it, so I said no worries and breezed off back to pool to read my book which I was more than happy with!! Shortly after they brought me a complimentary drink!

TSSDNCOP · 26/12/2018 12:04

I love a spa day, but really don't like massages. Swap for a facial or pedicure. You won't have that part of the day together anyway, so it's not like you're missing out on a joint massage experience.

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 26/12/2018 12:08

Emma thanks DSis doesn't know about my history and Christmas may not be the time to spring it on her

OP posts:

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 26/12/2018 12:09

I hate massages but the last spa day I went on I swapped a leg massage (ugh) for a face massage which I enjoyed. Dim lighting and eyes closed I relaxed for the first time! Since then I've actually enjoyed the shampooer at my hairdressers giving me a head massage with conditioner when previously I've gritted my teeth. Definitely ring up and ask for a swap otherwise you are going to dread the day

AJPTaylor · 26/12/2018 12:09

Invent a pulled muscle. Ask for something else if they can fit you in.if not, have a nice quiet cup of tea in caff!

Gina2012 · 26/12/2018 12:12

Fictitious Osteopath says no.

Swap it for a pedicure and manicure

Win win

llangennith · 26/12/2018 12:34

Phone the spa and ask if you can swap it for a different treatment. Pedicure etc

canibehereifimnotamum · 26/12/2018 13:30

Me and my sister did this and when we got there she explained she hates people touching her and they did a facial instead, wasn't a problem at all!

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2018 13:31

Ah sorry i assumed she knew.
Still, you don't need to give a reason, just that you'd prefer a facial/manicure or whatever.

Flip