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Original poster

Would you be responsible for someone being charged with ABH??

27 replies

Reiloraptor · 26/12/2018 00:49

Hi, A couple of days ago at a Christmas party at my mum’s house. A woman punched me and my mother in the face. Basically she had tagged along with her sister, she wasn’t invited but my mum didn’t want to kick up a fuss and continued the party anyway. Through the night she kept arguing with her sister aggressively to the point she was threatening her (not sure how seriously it could be taken cause of them being siblings but.) anyway my kids were sleeping next door in my house and it wasn’t a great time to be shouting so my mum drew the line after several attempts to suggest her leaving she actually told her to go, that’s enough. As she was walking this woman through the house I suddenly hear commotion I rush in and my 52 year old mothers face was bleeding (from a punch to the mouth). I said to the woman “get the f**k out now”. I passed her and held the door open for her to get through.. she suddenly got in my face intimidating me and I remained stern but calm both my hands were by my side (non threatening) and as she backed away she punched me in the mouth too causing me to have a split lip. When she got off the property I said I’m calling the police. Called the police to report the assault they took statements shortly after. Now she hasn’t been arrested but will be soon for ABH on both me and my mum. Now I’m feeling really anxious about her being arrested and going to court, personally and I feel anxious and for her too. She was a stranger who hit me in my mother’s home (basically my family home) but I’m not sure how I would feel about being responsible for someone being charged with a crime. My main question is “is her crime serious enough for me to continue and take her to court” not legally but morally if you know what I mean. Thanks

OP posts:
DustyMaiden · 26/12/2018 00:52

You are not responsible, she is.

justilou1 · 26/12/2018 00:52

Absolutely. You went above and beyond to be hospitable. She was aggressive. Took advantage of your good natures (and alcohol, I’m guessing) and was violent! You deserve to feel safe in your own homes.

Jayfee · 26/12/2018 00:53

Yes imo

Orchiddingme · 26/12/2018 00:55

Yes, this probably isn't the first time she's been like this. I would go ahead.

lightlypoached · 26/12/2018 00:56

That sounds horrible, poor you and your mum. We have laws because its just not OK to go into someone's house and punch people. The police will investigate and decide whether to charge, CPS will decide whether to prosecute if it's more than just a caution. so the decision is not yours to make.

It's likely that she has form and if she does that will be taken into account as well.

give the police the facts, heal your wounds and take it one day at a time as you are likely to be shaken for a while. good luck x

AuditAngel · 26/12/2018 01:10

She I said the person responsibke as she was the one who assaulted you and your mum.

I would have reported her.

todayiwin · 26/12/2018 01:41

Yes! Do you honestly think it's ok what she did?!!

Stand up to bullies!

nomoremrsniceguy · 26/12/2018 01:50

You're merely tell8ng the truth about what someone did to you. She did it, its her responsibility. You shouldn't have to put up with such shit behaviour.

IWantMyHatBack · 26/12/2018 01:50

ABH committed against you? No.. You're not responsible for someone punching you in the face. They are.

firawla · 26/12/2018 01:55

It’s her own fault not yours.
To think of it from the other side if you decide not to press the charges because you feel sorry for her, she will probably punch more people and end up charged sooner or later anyway!
Hope you and your mum are okay, sounds awful!

notangelinajolie · 26/12/2018 02:10

Go with it OP. 100% you are not responsible for someone else's actions. They hit you and your mum without provocation - which is totally unacceptable and quiet rightly should be reported to the police. If the police are prosecuting then they believe they have a case.

justilou1 · 26/12/2018 04:02

She will also use every last trick in the book to excuse her behaviour and guilt-trip her way out of this.
“I had a terrible childhood so I punch complete strangers who serve me food and welcome me into their home even though I show up unannounced at Christmas into their home.”
Well guess what....? Plenty of people have had shitty childhoods and have managed to go through their lives without resorting to antisocial behaviour.
She needs to be made responsible for her actions somehow.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 26/12/2018 04:12

The person responsible for her being charged with ABH is her. You did the right thing to call the police.

I hope you're ok and not too shaken by the whole thing.

Singlenotsingle · 26/12/2018 07:41

Strictly speaking, you don't take the decision anyway of whether she gets prosecuted. The CPS do, although they will probably need you to agree to be a witness.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 26/12/2018 07:51

Go ahead. And I'd be having words with her sister too - what was she doing to bring an uninvited guest to somebody else's Christmas and why did she not leave or get her sister to leave when their initial arguments kicked off?

Original poster
Reiloraptor · 26/12/2018 08:32

Thanks for the replies. Definitely needed some honesty with this situation. I will continue with the process I have started with the police. I’ve never in my life been in a fight let alone anything to this extent. Both me and my mother feel like we are overreacting to a punch in the face but it has definitely shook us up. Yesterday this woman’s friend posted pictures of her and the “bully” as someone has nicely put it cooking for homeless on Christmas, yep wonderful, help people but you can’t pretend to be something your not. Great that people get some help though whilst she’s painting a great picture for the police to see once they arrest her.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 26/12/2018 08:37

You are absolutely doing the right thing, well done for being brave and standing up to her by pursuing the charges. How long before her behaviour would escalate and do someone so real damage? Must have been awful for you both, glad you’re ok Flowers

Original poster
Reiloraptor · 26/12/2018 08:37

The sister was just as direspectful to my mother’s home. Safe to say she’s off the Christmas card list too. I know it wasn’t her fault her sister punched us but she was helping with the shouting and crying and the crazy vibe running through the party. Not something to do at a friend’s house at all. Best part is, my mother had been putting the sister and her five month old up from time to time whilst she was under police protection and hiding from a vicious ex.

OP posts:
Original poster
Reiloraptor · 26/12/2018 08:41

Found out later she had bitten some other woman’s cheek off in an altercation so I’m very glad I was too shocked and definitely too scared to fight back as I wouldn’t have stood a chance against this animal. Her punch was so neatly delivered that it shows she has done this before. More I speak of it the more I do believe in right. Inner anxiety needs to bugger off and let me continue

OP posts:
justilou1 · 26/12/2018 13:00

Suspect her previous behaviour May count against her...

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 26/12/2018 13:02

You did absolutely the right thing OP. You aren’t responsible, she is. Only she is.

greendale17 · 26/12/2018 13:10

You are definitely doing the right thing. Why even doubt it?

She invaded your home and attacked you and your mum! She deserves to be punished

JustanotherJP · 26/12/2018 13:17

Yes go ahead, sounds like it was an unprovoked needless attack.

Did the police take photos? If not, then do take some now. Also, were there any other witnesses?

Even though it is officially ABH, i would be surprised if it ends up being charged as ABH, usually a punch without lasting injuries will be charged as assault by beating.

Her history will only count against her if she is convicted, either by pleading guilty or after trial. It will not be referred to at the trial if she pleads not guilty.

Good luck with it. She shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it, it’s not acceptable behaviour.

Original poster
Reiloraptor · 26/12/2018 20:14

POST EDITED BY MNHQ TO REMOVE NAMES

There were two other people in the house at the time. One friend upstairs and the woman who punched me’s sister was at the back door. Think this post was for assurance that I wasn’t overreacting.

I took photos 15 mins after the incident. As for the charge being changed I have no idea how the process will go or the ins or outs. I’m assuming the woman who punched me is going to deny it because of the Facebook helping the homeless posts? She’s obviously trying to polish her image up because of this. She usually raises money for causes but these pictures uploaded are hilariously staged. One almost looks photo shopped because there is two of her... 🤷🏼‍♀️ Was such a mixture of feelings seeing the Christmas photos, did make me feel sick, firstly seeing her face and how evil it appears to me now as then what the hell is she playing at ?!? Lastly knowing both me and my mother have been hiding our faces all through Christmas due to the state she left them in whilst she poses with not a single mark or sign of torment on her face.

OP posts:
Jocasta2018 · 29/12/2018 11:24

Go for it. You probably aren't the first people she's attacked and you probably won't be the last.