Help -DH new GF mum invited our son for Xmas lunch

[Lolorolomolo]

Can anyone explain

DH left last year
Small kids one a baby

Took up with younger woman immediately
Think he was in an EA with her from work

This year he came in to do presents for the kids
He left to go to lunch there
She is very young & lives with her mum & family who is the same age as him

I was hurt about this but accepted it

Before he left he said the mum had invited our DS to go to lunch too
He hasn’t gone
But I don’t understand why she would invite him, our son and see a mum and baby be on their own at Christmas

Am sleep deprived
Sad and tired

But this doesn’t seem normal to me

I guess I don’t know what he has told them
Probably spun a sob story
Not told the full truth of what he has done & painted me as black

I’ve had one hours sleep
But their moral compass is just different to mine

Good luck to them all

I would just ignore the fuckwittery. You obviously to,d him it wasn't an option. Don't waste headspace in what the gf, her mother or even your ex are thinking. Hope you have a lovely day with your kids.

That is indeed excellent advice !

Ignore the fuckwittery
I think that’s gonna be my motto for 2019!

Never been in your shoes thankfully, lolo, but I would NOT be happy about that at all.😡

I agree it depends what tale your ex has spun but even so, what planet are these people on? 😳

Hope you are managing to have a lovely day with your DC.

Thanks Raffles
It was hard to see if my judgement was clouded
Our eldest has learning disabilities so when he heard he’d been invited was very keen to go
DH said no but another time
When I challenged DH why has they invited him he said it was appropriate as him&DS are a package

I think they are a very poor family who are happy their daughter has bagged a high earner, and the parents don’t mind he is their age

Any how what Nico said
Ignore the fuckwittery

It wasn't wrong of them to invite him, esp if they don't know the full facts, but it was idiotic of your DH to tell him so he got excited.
Your DH needs to manage this stuff better.

Hiding thread now as going to obsess otherwise

@lolorolomolo It's perfectly normal for separated parents to alternate having the children for Christmas. The children are entitled to spend some special occasions with their father. It's got nothing to do with his new partner's moral compass. Indeed, I'd argue it's a good thing that she wants to build a relationship with your DC - better that than a stepmother who encourages Dad to spend as little time with his kids as possible...

I note you still refer to him as "DH" rather than your ex or simply H. Are there still feelings there?

When I challenged DH why has they invited him he said it was appropriate as him&DS are a package and what about your other child? Not part of the "package"?

I suspect she was being polite. If I invite someone to dinner who has children, I invite the kids. I don't see the issue?

At the very least he should have raised it with you, before even mentioning it to your son. Poor judgement. Be glad you're away from it, and ignore the fuckwittery!

And your reply should of been ... and why the F are you telling me because that is never going to happen! See ya

So they invited him, your ex-DH told him he was invited but then told him he couldn’t go?!??
Seems like an exercise in control to deliberately upset you if you ask me!

I wonder if they actually did invite your DS or if your ex is playing mind games...

Him being invited is a lovely thing.

But the actual plans for the day need sorting well in advance not on the day!

Try not to overthink it. She invited him to be polite. Your ex shouldn't have mentioned it. Maybe next year with a bit of pre planning your kids can go to their dad for a few hours on Xmas day.

Maybe they assumed baby was too young to be away from you

Felt sorry for you think you assumed they were a poor family.