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Original poster

Do you make you children eat their dinner?

56 replies

Dandygal1976 · 24/12/2018 13:52

My sister and I will be at complete opposites tomorrow for Christmas dinner. I never make my children finish their meal but she will insist hers do. I have taught my children to start with the veg and go from there but to stop when they are full - I have never made them eat beyond when they say they are finished. What is this obsession with making children finish their food. I have never seen a healthy child starve and surely it is good for them in terns of weight. Perhaps this trend has started from rationing and never stopped?

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 24/12/2018 13:54

No, but my MIL is similar to your sister. I have started to say things like you need to eat some more carrots before I get your ice cream or whatever. DD is 2.5 is that relevant.

Sirzy · 24/12/2018 13:56

My 9 year old has disordered eating. His Christmas dinner will be garlic bread probably

The only universal advice we have had is forcing food creates more issues than it solves

Celebelly · 24/12/2018 13:57

I think it's a horrible thing to do and doesn't lead to healthy attitudes about food. I still remember as a kid going round to a friend's house for dinner and her mum making us eat everything on the plate before we could leave the table. I felt so ill after too. My mum would never have forced me or a friend to finish everything or eat more than we wanted to/something we really didn't like.

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IHaveBrilloHair · 24/12/2018 13:58

I never made her, the expectation was that she would, but I'd serve a v small portion.
Not on Christmas day though.

WhirlwindHugs · 24/12/2018 13:59

I agree with Sirzy.

I have an underweight child the most consistent advice we get from medics is not to ever force him to eat as it makes them more likely to refuse in the future.

TokyoSushi · 24/12/2018 13:59

I just let mine eat however much they want, as long as they've made a decent effort, i.e. eating as much as they can rather than rushing off because they want to play then that's fine, we don't have any issues at mealtimes.

Cadburyssurpriseegg · 24/12/2018 14:00

I have 4 dc all very different appetites and tastes. It’s so hard to get them all to enjoy one complete meal without complaint from at least one of them. So if they have near enough finished. Then I won’t push them.

ChoudeBruxelles · 24/12/2018 14:00

No it creates an unhealthy relationship with food. Stop when you’re full.

Allthepinkunicorns · 24/12/2018 14:03

No I would never force my child to eat something they didn't like or want. If my son says he is full I believe him. My mum used to force me to eat things I didn't like and I wasn't allowed to leave the table till my plate was clear. I would be in tears and sat there for hours. I would never inflict that on my ds. Also my ds pretty much eats anything and loves his food, so obviously laid back approach seems to be working better than mums approach.

Musicalstatues · 24/12/2018 14:03

No, I don’t make them eat anything if they don’t want to. However, if they then start asking for pudding they are usually required to eat more of any leftover meal first!!

Original poster

Dandygal1976 · 24/12/2018 14:04

Thanks - the other one is 'you will not get a pudding'. I am sorry - but I can be full as anything and I always have space for pudding! Don't know why but I have a reserve stomach somewhere!

OP posts:

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 24/12/2018 14:04

No. I won't. They try a bit of anything new and I always serve something I know they'll eat as part of the meal. Some days they trough others they don't. I don't make a big deal of it unless I am confident it's because they want to be somewhere else doing something else or if they refuse to even try something.

Celebelly · 24/12/2018 14:05

Pudding stomachs are a legitimate biological phenomenon. I, too, have one!

Original poster

Dandygal1976 · 24/12/2018 14:08

CarlGrimesMissingEye - I am with you on that. I keep making my youngest try things because I think you acquire taste over time. He had the tiniest ever brussel sprout on his plate yesterday and I was happy he took a nibble. He does understand my point he will grow to like things and has grown to like things. My eldest eats everything - other than marmite. I left that one.

OP posts:

katseyes7 · 24/12/2018 14:10

My cousin swears being 'made' to finish everything on her plate as a child has been so ingrained in her that she blames it for a lifelong weight problem. She once had words when they were lunching with a friend who told my cousin's two children that they couldn't leave the table until they'd finished their food. Both of her children are healthy and slim. They love all sorts of food (my cousin is a very good cook) but eat sufficient to fill themselves, then stop.
We're all different. lf someone puts a piled up plate in front of me, it puts me off.

italiancortado · 24/12/2018 14:10

Never. It's really weird. I remember being made to finish a plateful when I was young, it was cold, soggy and horrible. The threat of being given it for the next days breakfast made me force is down.

I have never made mine finish a plateful, and of pudding is on the go; they are allowed to leave some main and have the pud. Just like adults.

Jackshouse · 24/12/2018 14:10

Pudding tummies are definitely a biological fact! My two year old had a pain in her tummy yesterday and I told her to go quickly to the toliet but she informed me it was a chocolate pain which can only be made better by chocolate.

Just to clarify with the carrot commment I made earlier. Carrots are one of her favourite foods and I often have to cook for her for breakfast but I would only say eat some carrots but I would never monitor it or force her to eat them.

Spending time with family is always a parenting minefield.

Sparrowlegs248 · 24/12/2018 14:10

I have a 3.5 yr old and a 22 month old and have no idea how I would make them finish it if they didn't want to!

EinsteinsAngelicSnowmenHCB · 24/12/2018 14:11

I always thought that overtime it overides the brain signal that alerts us to feeling full, which in turn means we constantly overeat, resulting in obesity.

This may be bollocks of course, but it's just something I heard a while ago.

VimFuego101 · 24/12/2018 14:12

No, I don't make DS finish a meal - but he isn't allowed any snacks until the next meal other than fruit. He is a little overweight so I want to minimise his 'boredom eating'.

Jimdandy · 24/12/2018 14:13

It’s a fine balance for me.

I don’t force them to stuff themselves because I read overeating is a learned habit and I don’t want to ruin their natural signals, but at the same time I like them to eat a sensible portion.

Also if we are doing something fun afterwards they will take 2 bites and say their full then whinge all afternoon they’re hungry so I make them eat a sensible amount then.

I just judge it day by day but I never force them to eat.

I do see constantly my friends letting their kids snack all morning and then they complain they never eat their dinner xxx

rebelrosie12 · 24/12/2018 14:13

No way.

Missingstreetlife · 24/12/2018 14:14

Pudding stomach!
If food has been portioned I wouldn't force it, you are right about start wth veg, offer fruit if they don't like pudding
I let everyone choose what they want or serve themselves, no snax or sweets between if they don't eat enough proper food. Feed them when hungry! They should try everything but everyone is allowed a few things they don't eat (not different ones every day). If they put it on the plate I expect them to eat it and come back for more, not pile it up and leave half. Stressing makes it worse for attention

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 24/12/2018 14:16

I always ask my ten year old to eat more because he has a small appetite and would live off cakes and biscuits if allowed. For example, if he is served 4 chicken nuggets,chips and beans, he will have one nugget, 2 chips and not touch the beans. That's not enough food for a 10 year old boy so I have always have to tell him to eat more. Half an hour after leaving his dinner he will be raiding the cupboards looking for cake.

donajimena · 24/12/2018 14:19

No never. We don't have pudding either unless its Christmas. I rarely clear my plate so wouldn't force my children to. We are all a healthy weight.

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