Relative with severe nut allergy WWYD

[Tiggles]

A relative used to have a bit of a nut intolerance. I just found out that apparently now even one drip of nut oil on their skin causes severe unconsciousness within seconds. As does cooking with nut oil if they are in the same house. They don't need an epipen though! (yes I am therefore sceptical)
Said relative will be turning up to my house over Christmas as they come attached to another relative I'd like to see. We eat a lot of nuts,we cook a lot of nuts. There could easily be traces of nuts on the sofa etc.
How safe is it for them to visit? (no point asking relative im in contact with as they will so want to see my family they won't give a reasoned response and they won't come without allergic relative). But as I guess it is possible they have suddenly developed such a severe allergy I don't really want them dead in my house, so if you had such a severe allergy would you come to my house?

Just tell them. Make sure the allergic relative got the message before coming in and make sure you aren’t serving bits etc and have given the kitchen a deep clean. I would imagine they won’t want to take the risk if you tell them there has been a lot of nuts eaten

No. No I wouldn’t come to your house.

I’m not qualified to comment on the rest of your post (likelihood of allergy, why no epipen, the thickly veiled criticism of your two relatives for wanting to spend Christmas together).

Not possible that a drop of nut oil on their skin causes unconsciousness. Also not possible they could be so highly allergic and yet not need an EpiPen

If you hoover well and don't eat or cook with nuts while they're at your house I'm sure it'll be fine. But I'd warn them directly (not just via the other relative) so they can make their own mind up.

I have a severe allergy myself btw.

They live a long way away but staying with another relative nearby over Christmas itself. I went to visit them there, hence finding out about nut allergy as I was leaving as my brother had just found out he couldn't cook his Christmas pudding) but they would like to come to my house. I didn't think about our nut use until later and now panicking slightly.

Groundnut oil is virtually always refined and therefore does not trigger peanut allergy, even if consumed, let alone just the cooking vapours: www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/knowledgebase/vegetable-oils/

My son has a peanut allergy. We have peanuts in our house over the festive weeks. He can smell them so will not go near them. He has an epi pen.
How does the relative go when out and about where there are loads of traces of all food groups

I find it highly unlikely that an allergy would cause an immediate loss of consciousness without other symptoms. I also find it odd that someone with such a severe allergy would not have an epi pen.

I am extremely sympathetic to those who have genuine allergies but I'd be wondering how real this "allergy" might be

I find it hard to believe that they don't have an epi-pen if they are that allergic and have that kind of reaction.
Mainly because you cannot control the general environment that closely that you can be sure that going out in public will be entirely nut free especially at this time of year as lots of festive food has bits in it.
I think if they are just coming for a short visit when they come in you could quietly remind them that you can't guarantee to be completely sterile environment would they like everyone to go out for a walk or something as part of the visit so they are out of the house, if they are coming for the whole day you will probably need to have a chat before they come.

get some piriton syrup in, if despite precautions the relative ingests nuts that'll help with the immediate symptoms.

if not been given an epi pen can't have been diagnosed. Plus nuts would usually swell the area - dh is allergic, different nuts give different reactions e.g. almonds throat closes, peanuts he vomits etc.

Thanks this is all helpful.
I always have piriton in house as I'm allergic to cats and son has hayfever so that's a good call.
I'll hope message I send to other relatives does actually get through (don't have direct contact details).
Not sure about time for a deep clean as I'm working between now and visit but I'll see what I can do. I can at least scrub the sofa in case nut covered fingers have been in contact.

Personally id fake a vomiting bug and tell them not to come. Its a big responsibility to cater for someone like that and one I would not take on.