Happy festivus! Please feel free to anonymously air your grievances here...

[SilverBirchTree]

... and hopefully avoid drunkenly saying them at the Christmas table.

I'll start: MIL, multiple specialist doctors have told us that catching colds this year could have serious consequences for our baby's long term health. If you start coughing in his face with another lecture about him needing 'germs to build his immune system and prevent autisim' I might actually scream until the stupid drains out of you.

Anyone else need to get something out of their system?

We haven’t had any post for a week. I can’t decide whether Royal Mail have f£&@d up or whether my family just hate me. Poor DD is waiting for her Christmas present from her BF which still hasn’t arrived

Uncle knobhead nobody likes you and it will be a relief when you finally fuck off and spend Christmas with your suposedly secret GF.

She’s not a secret we all know and we despise you.

@Rhubarbisevil fuck the mail

Rhubarbisevil gah yes, the one present that I was really really looking forward to giving my youngest DD hasn't arrived yet - it's a T-shirt for Heathers the musical. I would have loved to buy tickets for a west end show for my DDs but it's out of my budget range this year. She listens to Heathers and Hamilton constantly and would have loved the T-shirt, but it hasn't arrived, and I'm not holding my breath that it will turn up today. Bloody Royal Mail.

It's not 'just a joke' it's racist.

If my DC don't stop coughing, snorting (FGS, blow your nose, don't snort it back up!), sneezing and calling me Bummy, I'm going to freak out.

Oh, okay. Louise, if you don't mind, I'd rather not bring Christmas breakfast to yours from 50 miles away. Heat your own damn croissants, ffs!

Dh has accidentally taken my house keys and locked me out of the house. This is unhelpful as I have a ton a things to be doing.....

SIL - you are an overbearing, intolerant, selfish, nasty fucking arsehole. Your “ailments” are all self inflicted or imaginary and do not ever require the ridiculous amount of time and resources you take up with your numerous A&E trips. I’ve had 7 years of trying to put a smile on and grit my teeth, every time we have a get together. You’re an unmitigated fucking dickhead.

So help me if you fuck up christmas again I will cling film your plate and tell you loudly to get the fuck out of our house and hope the door hits you on the way out.

I don't care.

I want to stay in bed.